Eric Roberts

Kathleen Kennedy, Steven Spielberg's long time producer, recently dropped an update on "Jurassic Park 4" and the film's current status. Excited? On the edge of your seat? Need to know right this very second what the hell is going on? Well here it is. The moment you've been waiting for. The update is.... they're writing a lot. Need a cigarette don't you?

I'm so freakin confused. "The Child" is a new German film about a lawyer who finds himself being asked to defend a 10 year old who thinks he was a murderer in a past life. The confusing thing to me is that Eric Roberts has apparently just signed on to star in the film. It's German? Does Eric Roberts speak German? Is the movie going to be in German? Will there be a Falco song in the film? There damn well better be.

Get moist fanboys! Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg's next installment in their series of films, "The World's End" has officially begin production. The film will focus on a group of friends who reunite for one more drinking marathon and find not only their future is in danger but so is the world's. Of course there's been many a night I've been three sheets to the wind and thought the world was ending. We've all been there.

Brian De Palma's "Passion", a new film about two women battling it out in a deadly power struggle, has been picked up by Entertainment One for a North American release. I think girls make out in it. I want to see it.

I'm not all that interested in this movie, called "Dead.tv", but I'd like to shake the hand of the man who got Eric Roberts and Danielle Harris together for this publicity still. I propose their next film is a remake of "Bonnie and Clyde". Just imagine it...

Man I never read or saw "Red Dragon" but the news that Larry Fishburne is in talks to take on the role of Jack Crawford in "Hannibal", the upcoming NBC series based on the book has me borderline interested. I guess the character is an FBI agent or something who tries to find Hannibal. Was Hannibal in that book? I don't care. Doesn't matter. Freakin Morpheus, man.

Apparently there's been rumors floating around that "Jurassic Park IV" will focus on a government plot to weaponize dinosaurs. I've never heard that rumor and I like to think I'm the beginning and end of all internet rumors. But just to try to prove me wrong producer Frank Marshall came out and said that these "rumors" are 100% false. Now that I think of it he never did confirm that he didn't make them up himself right before he said they were false. So maybe that's why I never heard of them.

Shocking news coming out of "The Dark Knight Rises" camp today that Miss. Anne Hathaway would apparently not be opposed to doing a "Catwoman" spin off film. I know I'm just as shocked as you are. Don't worry though, this won't be some piece of crap. She'll only do it "with the right people". I assume she means she would want the entire cast and crew from "Bride Wars" to be involved. I'm just guessing here though.

Eliza Roberts, who is apparently the spouse of Eric Roberts, who I have nothing but good things to say about, has joined the cast of "Self Storage". That means there will be a loving couple on the set of the flick about a group of party goers trapped inside a storage facility. Nothing but love and normal things going on. That is all. Happy times.

I had no idea there was a "World Of Warcraft" movie in the works or that Sam Raimi was suppose to be directing it. But it turns out he isn't going to. The movie is still happening though, just with another director. Good story huh?

I don't have proof or anything but if I was to take a guess I would say that at some point Eric Roberts has been spanked by a lady. Don't ask me why, it's just a hunch. So I suggest that ladies on the set of "Self Storage" keep a close eye on their drinks because the tan one has just joined the cast. The film tells the tale of a group of friends trapped inside a storage facility when all hell breaks lose.

If you like cartoons and you like horror then your going to go ape shit over "The Living Corpse", which the folks over at Anchor Bay have just acquired the rights to. The flick is a cartoon tale (that's why I mentioned them before) about a superhero who also happens to be undead. Like superman, but he eats people. Although Superman may be doing now also. I haven't read a comic in close to 20 years so I don't know what's going on there.

Remember Justina Machado from "Six Feet Under"? The spicy latina that Rico cheated on and we all fealt sorry for? Well feel sorry for her again because she's landed a role along side Halle Berry in a new serial killer flick "The Hive". In the film Berry plays a 911 operator who must help a teenager being stalked by a killer. I say feel sorry for her because Halle Berry kind of makes crap movies now. So this is probably going to be a crap movie. She may have a perfectly lovely time though. I'm sorry I lead you to believe she was going to be miserable. She's hot.

"The Dead Want Women" opens up with a lavish party inside of a Hollywood mansion, hosted by the actress Rose Pettigrew who is famous for her work on silent films. Rose leaves her guests at the party and heads to her basement, through a secret passage, to join some friends for an orgy that is extended so long it could probably be called soft-core porn.

After the success of the ultra-tepid and mega-overrated “Paranormal Activity”, Paramount is hoping that lightning will strike twice by starting Insurge Pictures, an in-house effort that will distribute films budgeted under $100,000. While this sounds awesome at first glance, we all know this'll just become another home for Hollywood vanity project for the likes of Steven Soderburgh and George Clooney to “get back to their roots” by using digital cameras to make scathing indictments of the US military complex starring porn stars and cameos from former teen-stars trying to shed their pretty boy image. On the plus side, you might get to see James Van Der Beek's dong.

Eric Roberts has signed the dotted line to star in the SyFy movie “Sharktopus”. I know that I've been a champion of these movies in the past, but, after the release of “Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus”, I find it hard to give a damn anymore. These movies used to be reviled and spit on, which, for me, added to their charm, but, for some reason, with the release of “MS v. GO”, they became a part of the hipster culture and they became “cool” bad movies. “Hey bro, I can't make it to our Brooklyn-based indie art-rock collective band meeting tonight! SyFy has Cyndi Lauper is taking on a Spider-Megalodon!” (And, even more, am I the only one who feels like a total dick actually writing “SyFy”? That channel has gotten so pretentious I'm surprised they haven't done a Phillip K. Dick miniseries yet, with a soundtrack by Joanna Newsom.)

Jimmy's got issues. He's a smart guy with some pretty big ideas on the earth's future and global warning. As a matter of fact, he thinks the Mayan calendar and its predictions of the earth ending in 2012 are quite true. According to Jimmy, global warming will reach its zenith in December of 2012 with temperatures reaching upwards of 130 degrees worldwide. Along with the heat, he also believes that the human population will devolve into mass chaos as people go nuts with their impending doom. Jimmy's biggest problem is that nobody will listen.