world of warcraft

Horror Headlines: Friday, August 3rd, 2012

Alright I get it. It's annoying when people post pictures of their kids constantly on Facebook. Ya know what else is annoying? You crying about it in between posting pictures of your stupid cat, annoying political views or random picture of the hot dog you ate for lunch. You became friends with these people on Facebook so don't get pissy when some of them grow up, get married and start a family while you're still sitting in your living room making hair dolls and dressing your dog up like one of the Power Rangers.

I love me some "Robocop" remake updates. You know this about me. I've said it countless times. Need proof? Gaze upon my rock hard nipples while I tell you that Jennifer Ehle, who was in "Contagion", has signed on to join the cast. She'll play someone named 'Liz Kline'. I don't remember who that is from the original. But you're not thinking about that anyway are you. You're thinking you want to see me cut glass with these puppies. Well keep waiting.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. 13 years ago M. Night Shyamalan was our love child and today we get news that he's working with Syfy on a new pilot titled "Proof". "Proof" will focus on a young man who offers money to anyone who can prove there's life after death when his parents die tragically. I can only hope Tiffany will pop up in the cast somewhere.

Little known fact, I am not the German kid in that popular internet video where the kid freaks the F out while playing "World of Warcraft". I know it's an honest mistake, I get it all the time. I've never actually played the game but apparently people go nuts for it but the obvious big screen version has been riddled with problems. Well today's there's some good news for the project in the form of Charles Leavitt being tapped to write the script. I think that's good news. I mean he wrote "Blood Diamond". You basement dwelling virgins should be pumped he'd touch your silly game.

At this point I'm at a loss as to who looks at Brendan Fraser and says "Yeah, get that guy in my movie" but yet again he's been cast. This time in "Split Decision", a new film about two children being hunted by a couple murderers after they accidentally witness the killing. Fraser will play the father who tries to save them. Alright I can't even lie, I find the guy charming as crap. Did you see "Looney Tunes: Back in Action"? I can't not watch that whenever it's on TV.

In Real People News: 

It's a known fact that anything toddlers do is adorable. Although I've never seen a mother directing her 2 year old to fight the 3 year old she's babysitting so I can't 100% confirm this rule still holds true. I can confirm that posting a video of it online will 100% get you arrested.

It's been a long time since I was a single man but not a day goes by that I don't think about how awful it was. Trying to meet a woman, being rejected, dating someone for weeks only to find out they don't share their cheese fries at Outback. It's terrible. So I can't say I agree with this guy who peed on a woman after she rejected him at a bar. I'm just saying I understand where his frustration is coming from.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I had no idea there was a "World Of Warcraft" movie in the works or that Sam Raimi was suppose to be directing it. But it turns out he isn't going to. The movie is still happening though, just with another director. Good story huh?

I don't have proof or anything but if I was to take a guess I would say that at some point Eric Roberts has been spanked by a lady. Don't ask me why, it's just a hunch. So I suggest that ladies on the set of "Self Storage" keep a close eye on their drinks because the tan one has just joined the cast. The film tells the tale of a group of friends trapped inside a storage facility when all hell breaks lose.

If you like cartoons and you like horror then your going to go ape shit over "The Living Corpse", which the folks over at Anchor Bay have just acquired the rights to. The flick is a cartoon tale (that's why I mentioned them before) about a superhero who also happens to be undead. Like superman, but he eats people. Although Superman may be doing now also. I haven't read a comic in close to 20 years so I don't know what's going on there.

Remember Justina Machado from "Six Feet Under"? The spicy latina that Rico cheated on and we all fealt sorry for? Well feel sorry for her again because she's landed a role along side Halle Berry in a new serial killer flick "The Hive". In the film Berry plays a 911 operator who must help a teenager being stalked by a killer. I say feel sorry for her because Halle Berry kind of makes crap movies now. So this is probably going to be a crap movie. She may have a perfectly lovely time though. I'm sorry I lead you to believe she was going to be miserable. She's hot.

In Real People News: 

I've seen a lot of movies where a guy meets a woman in a bar and goes back to her place and it turns out she's real freaky deaky and likes to pretend she's being attacked during sex. That's weird to me. Things go from weird to illegal though when a husband posts an ad on Craigslist saying his wife is into that without her knowledge and she in turn isn't into that. It's called evolution.

Here's a fun story about New York guy who's under arrest for licking some girl's feet in a public library. Wait, it gets better. When asked why he did this he went on a rant about Obama and how he set him up. I like this guy's style.

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