If you know one thing about me it's that I love... LOVE... Japanese Sci-Fi novels. I can't get enough of them. So the news that my all time fave book, "Tokisuna no Ou (The Lord of the Sands of Time)" is being turned into a big time movie. For those of you not as cool as me the book is about a group of people sent back in time to try to stop an alien invasion that wiped out the human race. Wait if they wiped out the human race how are the people alive to go back? Oh jeez ya got me, I have no idea what this thing is.
So last week we talked about how Sean Durkin had been lined up to do a new mini series based on "The Exorcist", telling the tale that leads up to where the first film picked up. Well it turns out that was a lie, or at least that's what William Peter Blatty, the author and rights holder of the story, says. And I'd guess he would know. But good news is he's got his own mini-series based on the novel that he's hoping to pimp out. So ya know, first sweet, then sour. They should make a candy based on this too.
"Monster Butler" sounds like it would be a laugh out lound romp but in reality it's about a real life serial killer/theif/bi-sexual con man. Not nearly as funny as a mutant that walks around a mansion serving caviar and crap. Dominic Monaghan and Gary Oldman have been added to the cast. Neither of them are funny though. This is the most un-funny post ever.
Conor McMahon's zombie killer clown flick "Stitches" has been picked up by the fine folks at Kaleidoscope Entertainment and Signature Entertainment for a Halloween release in the U.K. No news on when it'll hit these fine States so this one is all for your Brits. Let's call it even for that whole tea party thing.
In Real People News:
Not going to lie this has happened to me on more than 1 occasion and I've thought of doing the same thing. An Ohio man rammed his truck into a Taco Bell after they forgot to give him his taco. His did this over a taco. I drove all the way home once and realized they forgot my Mexi-Melt. I should be given an award for not burning the whole thing down. They did give me free cinna-sticks for my trouble though. So I guess that was kind of nice.
Chances are most of you have checked out already for the long weekend so I kind of feel like I can say anything I want in the news today and no one will notice. Even if you actually showed up to work and are looking at this copy you're not really reading it. You're thinking of dry humping your best gal on the beach somewhere or whatever the hell it is you'll be doing this weekend. So here it goes... I've never understood why people like "Lord Of the Rings" and I've never found Angelina Jolie attractive. Alright let's do this.
The Spy Kid himself Mason Cook has signed on to play the role of young Eddie Munster in NBC's new series "Mockingbird Lane". For those of you not familiar with the show "Mockingbird Lane" is an updated and much darker retelling of the classic sitcom "The Munsters". One time when I was in middle school I tried to make it with a butter churn.
New Jersey's own Zoe Saldana has been added to the cast of "Machete Kills" and Danny Trejo himself has confirmed that he gets to put his mouth on her. How's that for news? I watched 3 seasons of "Glee" before I realized it was awful.
If there's one complaint I always hear about the classic film "The Exorcist" it's that the film is just too darn scary and needs to be watered down. Well good news for all those who hate awesome things the flick is being remade and for television. The show will be a ten part series and in all fairness with "Martha Marcy May Marlene" director Sean Durkin onboard I don't hate this idea as much as I thought I would. I illegally downloaded 3 Linkin Park songs that I have on my iPod when I run.
Derek Mears, who's been in every horror movie made in the last 15 years, only covered in make up... and Caroline Williams, who played Stretch in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2", have been added to the cast of the much anticipated "Hatchet 3". My first time was with a girl I met on the internet and never spoke to again after that night.