v/h/s

Horror Headlines: Monday December 10th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Monday, Dec 10th 2012

There's a show on Disney Jr. called "Guess How Much I Love You" that my daughter loves and it creeps the holy living hell out of me.

It seems like every band out there is putting their music out on cassette tapes these days because they know hipsters think it's clever and will pay 10 bucks for something they probably can't even play. Well it was only a matter of time before the horror world caught on and what better movie to leave the charge than the home invasion anthology flick "V/H/S". The film will be released on the classic big box this coming January in a limited run of only about 300 copies. If you buy all 300 copies I'm pretty sure you get a free 6 pack of PBR.

Terrence Howard has joined Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal in the cast of the upcoming hey you kidnapped my kid so I'm going to torturer the crap out of you flick "Prisoners". The flick is set to start shooting in February and in case you are wondering yes I'd like to go on a weekend trip with Terrence Howard to some sort of mountain resort where we just relax and get to know each other.

"Mara" is a new Swedish film that just got picked up for US distribution and stars Angelica Jansson, a Swedish model making her film debut. If you still need to know what the movie is about to want to see it I hate your guts but it follows a young woman who returns to the home where she witnessed a murder many years ago only to find herself trapped by an a intruder. She's a Swedish model. Shame on you for asking any other questions.

Show of hands, who still has a crush on Goldie Hawn? No one? How is that possible!? Well screw you for judging me. I ask because "Death Becomes Her", the 92 flick in which she co-starred in has been picked up by the folks at Bravo for a new hour long series. Robert Zemeckis will produce the show based on the film about two women who purchase a potion that gives them eternal life. You can't deny that Meryl Streep is the greatest woman to ever live can you? You're a monster.

In Real People News:

What kind of person breaks into a zoo and beats a monkey to death? I can look past a lot of awful things people do but this guy is going to hell. Monkeys make the world go round.

A 62 year old Maine man is in jail for the next 5 days after he slapped his ex-wife in the face with his manhood when she refused to have sex with him. What I don't understand is how they got into a position where his man part was out and close enough to her face to smack it and sex was not on the table.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday October 31st, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Oct 31st 2012

Hey it's Halloween! What are you dressing as? Wow that's great! It's going to look even greater on the floor of your studio apartment tonight at 2am after you strike out at your local bar and go home alone. Have fun at work tomorrow!

We all gave this year's anthology flick with a heart of gold "V/H/S" a hearty thumbs up and now you can confirm we have good taste because the film is coming home on DVD and Blu-Ray on December 4th. No word on special features for the film but I hope there's a director's commentary because I want to hear 70 people trying to talk over a movie. I think we all gave it a thumbs up actually. I wasn't on the episode and truth be told I only like to listen to the sound of my own voice on podcasts.

[REC] masterminds Paco Plaza and Jaume Balaguero are moving things out of the apartment building and into the woods with a new flick titled "Summer Camp". Set to begin production sometime in mid 2013 the flick is some sort of weird version of tag where people get killed or something. I don't know the description is confusing but it's going to be in English so I'm on board.

Pascal Laugier's "Martyrs" is still getting all kinds of buzz and everyone is just wetting themselves waiting for word on what he's doing next. Well he's not doing a horror movie so go home and cry now. But before you go you should know he's going to film a love story, with what sounds like a lot of sex. You should also know that he plans on the love story turning very twisted. You should also know I ate french onion dip with my hands last night.

Yesterday I told you about how some small production company is looking to pick up "Fright Night 2" and start pumping out stand alone flicks. Remember? Good cause now I'm going to tell you that word has come down from the mountains that Eduardo Rodriguez will direct the sequel and it will be direct to DVD. None of the original cast will be in the flick so pretty much I think we're looking at another vampire flick with the "Fright Night" name slapped on it. Get excited.

In Real People News:

Come to Berlin, see the sights, drink the beer and be mauled by a wild boar. Not something that normally happens in a major city but police took down the beast after it attacked and injured four people. Of course there's a number of times I've come home after a night of drinking and looked like I was attacked by an animal so I'd like to see photos of this thing.

And because I always like it when some good comes out of a tragic event, here's a video that Coco made during Hurricane Sandy Monday night. When the floods come, head for the mountains.

Episode 223 - "V/H/S"

Submitted by Eric on Wednesday, Oct 3rd 2012

Wait, how did a webcam conversation end up on a VHS tape?

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

V/H/S (REVIEW)

Submitted by Eric on Monday, Sep 24th 2012

"V/H/S" is a new, independent horror anthology that comes to you from ten, count 'em, ten directors, including current horror golden boy Ti West ("The Innkeepers"). The entire film is shot in a first person "found footage" style, although the subject matter of the stories varies wildly.

Our 9 Most Anticipated Horror Films of the Fall

Submitted by Charlie on Tuesday, Sep 18th 2012

It is the witching time of year and the Halloween season is upon us. Let's take a look at what's haunting theaters this fall...

9. Hotel Transylvania

Date: September 28
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Cast: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg

Trailers: Red Band for Anthology Film "V/H/S"

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Jun 20th 2012

I've had nothing but bad things to say about the new anthology flick "V/H/S". Mostly because I write for the internet and that's what you're suppose to do. But today I've seen the new red band trailer and as much as I hate to say it the flick looks kind of good. Minus that stupid flying vampire thing in there. You'll see.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, April 26th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Apr 26th 2012

During my senior year of High School there was about a 2 week period where branding was all the rage. When I say branding I mean heating up a chunk of metal and permanently scarring yourself with some sort of clever symbol like a shamrock or letter. The point here is that I have scarred two people for life and if anyone wants to be number three I'll be more than happy to tag you with a white hot coat hanger at Horror Hound Weekend this coming September. Book your hotel room now.

Sometimes I lie awake at night worried about Andrea Riseborough. She's so pale and looks so sickly. Is she ok!? Someone please help her! I might be able to sleep a little better now though since she's been cast opposite Alexander Skarsgard in the new virus outbreak flick "Hidden". The movie focuses on a family who's hiding out in a bomb shelter after a strange virus starts to spread across the land. Please Andrea, use the money from this to get yourself some McNuggets. It may be your only hope.

If you've read "Blood Of Eden" then there's a good chance you're a 14 year old girl. Or you're on some sort of police watch list. Either way I guess you can get your Hello Kitty lunch box ready because Palomar Pictures has picked up the rights to the young adult vampire novel with plans to bring it to the big screen. In all fairness the book sounds a lot darker than the "Twilight" stuff but I'm still going to mock you. I really don't have anything else.

Do you like Frankenstein? Do you like found footage? Do you look vintage German pornography? Then you're going to love "The Reawakening" a new found footage Frankenstein retelling short that will be a part of the upcoming anthology film "V/H/S". Alright the whole German porn thing isn't really a part of this but it really drives site traffic so let's just let that slide.

Excited about the new Judge Dredd flick simply titled "Dredd"? No? What if I was to tell you that the film which is currently set for a late summer release has earned itself a PG-13 rating? Still no!? What if I told you Rob Schneider is in no way attached to the film. Alright now I got you a little bit right?

In Real People News:

I've had some serious road rage in my day but never to the point where I shot off a flare gun in my own car. But then again I'm not from New Hampshire. Not that only people from New Hampshire do that sort of thing. Or maybe they do. That godless land is a mystery to me.

You have to applaud this Philadelphia man for his non-stop dedication in catching a local vandal who has slashed more than 55 tires in his neighborhood. You have to applaud him because he organized neighborhood watches, spoke to local papers and pretty much lead the charge to bring down the criminal when in fact he was the one slashing the tires. He also at one point tricked his neighbors into donating enough money to pay for his entire wedding. He's kind of a genius.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, March 8th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Mar 8th 2012

I've stopped paying attention to all the casting news surrounding the 97 horror shows currently in the works but this one is kind of interesting. Mr. Brad Anderson, who made me giddy with "Session 9" has been confirmed to be directing the pilot episode of "Midnight Sun". The show focuses on an FBI agent trying to track down a strange cult that went missing. As I've mentioned in the past Julia Stiles stars in the show and I've run out of 90's dance movie jokes so lets just move on.

I want you to sit down for this one because it's going to punch you in the face. I'm just going to say it. "Halloween 3D" has been put up on the shelf for the time being. I know it hurts, but we're going to get through this together. Originally set for an October release this year the film has yet to be cast or even written and as it stands now the release date is TBD. So there's still hope that it will happen. Let's all pray tonight.

Good news kids, I think, the horror anthology flick "V/H/S" has finally been given a release date of October 5th for the limited theater run and August 31st for VOD. The film is about a group of robbers who uncover a gaggle of video tapes in a house and find their contents to be rather disturbing. There's too many directors to names attached to this thing so expect it to be 4 hours and feature 10 minute segments from each one of them.

More casting news for "The Evil Dead"! Shout it from the rooftops my friends. Jessica Lucas and Elizabeth Blackmore have both been added to the cast leading me to believe there's not going to be a single man in the film. I base this of course on the news that Jane Levy is playing the lead role and by ignoring the IMDB page that lists two males on the cast list.

In Real People News:

A Florida man is in hot water after he finally snapped at his job and pulled a gun on a person for complaining about the love seat he just bought. The complaint that drove him over the edge? The guy had the balls to come into the store and complain that the couch was riddled with bed bugs. Where do these people get off!?

Never let it be said that they don't do things to the extreme in California. Like this guy who didn't just shoot his ex with a gun. No he went the extra mile and blew her up with a cannon. Where the hell do you even get cannon balls these days?

Horror Headlines: Friday, January 27th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Friday, Jan 27th 2012

I don't even know how long ago that Rebecca Black song came out but it still rings in my head every Friday. That's got to mean something to someone. Anyone!

No real surprise here but it looks like " V/H/S", the horror anthology from Adam Wingard, Glenn McQuaid, Radio Silence, David Bruckner, Joe Swanberg and Ti West, has been picked up by Magnolia Pictures. The film tells the story of a group of burglars who discover a bunch of weird videos in a house they're robbing. From the number of directors I assume each story will be about 3 minutes or the movie will be 4 hours long.

If there's one thing you know about me it's that I freakin love Norway. Corpse paint, trolls, and everything in between. Give it to me! So I couldn't be more excited about the trailer for the new film "Thale" . The movie is based on the mythical Norwegian charter Huldra, which is a sassy minx who lures men into the woods. Sounds fun but unfortunately the men never return. Oh and the Huldra has a cow's tail. God I love Norway.

All you really need to know about "Monster Brawl" is that it's a fake Pay-Per-View battle royal between some classic monsters and Jimmy "Mouth Of the South" Hart is in it. Now that I've got you all excited here's the bad news. Image Entertainment has decided to push back the DVD/Blue-Ray release from March 27th to June 12th and unfortunately haven't given a reason. I need a reason! Maybe it's because they're trying to get Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Let's pray.

I don't know how much you can really believe this but Megan Ellison, founder of Annapurna Films which now owns the rights to "Terminator 5", how promised the next installment in the robot series will indeed be rated R. She let this news out via her twitter account though and I'm not positive but I don't think anything on there will hold up in court.

In Real People News:

Ladies and gentlemen, well mostly gentlemen, and I don't really mean "gentlemen"... here is the greatest invention to ever been imagined. An aftershave specifically designed to hide the smell of a strip club.

Little baby goats are always adorable. Well not always, this one that was born with 6 legs in Europe and is an abomination and should be thrown into a lake.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, January 26th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Jan 26th 2012

We're just a little over a week away from "The Woman In Black" hitting theaters and I for one am a little damp between the legs about the entire thing. And this new clip from the film has got my river flowing at full throttle this morning. All kinds of creepy toys and lights going out. Oh man it's damp. This is without a doubt the most disgusting thing I've ever written.

The continuation of the second season of AMC's "The Walking Dead" is not too far off my friends and today we've got news that Aaron Munoz and Michael Raymond James will be joining our band of marry travelers. Right now both are being put on the books as "guest stars" so there's a good chance they're not going to be around long so enjoy them while you can. Perhaps with a nice bottle of Bordeaux.

Because of a sugar imbalance I fainted while watching "The Devil inside" so I'm not that impressed by this news but it looks like one movie goer hit the floor while watching a screening of "V/H/S", a new anthology flick from Ti West, Adam Wingard, David Bruckner and Glenn McQuaid. The happening took place during a midnight screening at the Sundance Film Fest so there's also a good chance whoever it was was some kind of sissy boy. He was all "oh I can't wait to get home and watch 'How I Met Your Mother' on DVR! hey is that blood? Uh oh I'm going down!".

Russell Brand has been confirmed for the cast of the upcoming haunted house comedy flick "The Hauntrepreneur". That guy sucks and so will this movie. That's the news.

In Real People News:

Here's a Florida man who confessed to not only cutting up a guy with a hatchet but also eating his brain and eyes. I don't know, I guess when you get hungry you get hungry.

Everyone's got different baby sitting styles but I'm pretty sure this woman in Washington who poured salt and detergent down a 4 week old child's throat because the baby was "evil" has the worst style I've ever heard of. Truth be told I haven't read a ton of parenting books though.