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Horror Headlines: Thursday, August 16th, 2012

blah blah new horror TV series blah blah. This one is going to be on Starz though, so there might be some actual gore showing up here. It's called "Da Vinci's Demons" and it focuses on the code maker himself and his struggle with good and evil. Oh and he's a genius. And oh this doesn't sound like it's going to be bloody at all. Michael J. Bassett of "Silent Hill: Revelation" fame(?) will direct.

I don't even know what this means anymore but there's been so much crap around the "World War Z" movie that I thought I should mention it. Apparently the rough cut of the film is clocking in at only 52 minutes long. Alright I kind of know what that means. It means there was only 52 minutes of usable footage after what I think has been about 7 years of filming. There's apparently only 7 weeks left so I assume they're just going to set up a camera in Brad Pitt's shower and tack on 45 minutes of him using a loofah to the project. I'll watch it.

Call me crazy but I actually want to see "Jurassic Park" in 3D when it's thrust back into theaters. Go ahead, call me crazy! Well it looks like my wait won't be as long as originally planned because the re-release has been pushed up 3 months to April 5, 2013. I think if I keep hoping enough they'll push it up to this weekend and then I can go right now. Do it. Come on movie people do this one thing for me!

Alexander Skarsgard trapped in a bomb shelter. Sounds dreamy doesn't it? The film is called "Hidden" and it has officially begun production in Vancouver. The film is about a family who spends 301 days down in a bomb shelter while the world above goes to hell. I've had dreams that start like this.

In Real People News: 

And the "yo mama" jokes have finally gone too far for one man. So far that he actually attacked his own son with a knife. Finally someone is taking a stand.

Here's a heartwarming story about a woman in Maine who beat that crap out of another woman at a local Walmart because she caught her husband flirtin it up with her. I'm not even kidding here I've seen at least 2 fist-fights in the past 3 years at my local Walmart. It's better than any pay-per-view.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, April 26th, 2011

During my senior year of High School there was about a 2 week period where branding was all the rage. When I say branding I mean heating up a chunk of metal and permanently scarring yourself with some sort of clever symbol like a shamrock or letter. The point here is that I have scarred two people for life and if anyone wants to be number three I'll be more than happy to tag you with a white hot coat hanger at Horror Hound Weekend this coming September. Book your hotel room now.

Sometimes I lie awake at night worried about Andrea Riseborough. She's so pale and looks so sickly. Is she ok!? Someone please help her! I might be able to sleep a little better now though since she's been cast opposite Alexander Skarsgard in the new virus outbreak flick "Hidden". The movie focuses on a family who's hiding out in a bomb shelter after a strange virus starts to spread across the land. Please Andrea, use the money from this to get yourself some McNuggets. It may be your only hope.

If you've read "Blood Of Eden" then there's a good chance you're a 14 year old girl. Or you're on some sort of police watch list. Either way I guess you can get your Hello Kitty lunch box ready because Palomar Pictures has picked up the rights to the young adult vampire novel with plans to bring it to the big screen. In all fairness the book sounds a lot darker than the "Twilight" stuff but I'm still going to mock you. I really don't have anything else.

Do you like Frankenstein? Do you like found footage? Do you look vintage German pornography? Then you're going to love "The Reawakening" a new found footage Frankenstein retelling short that will be a part of the upcoming anthology film "V/H/S". Alright the whole German porn thing isn't really a part of this but it really drives site traffic so let's just let that slide.

Excited about the new Judge Dredd flick simply titled "Dredd"? No? What if I was to tell you that the film which is currently set for a late summer release has earned itself a PG-13 rating? Still no!? What if I told you Rob Schneider is in no way attached to the film. Alright now I got you a little bit right?

In Real People News: 

I've had some serious road rage in my day but never to the point where I shot off a flare gun in my own car. But then again I'm not from New Hampshire. Not that only people from New Hampshire do that sort of thing. Or maybe they do. That godless land is a mystery to me.

You have to applaud this Philadelphia man for his non-stop dedication in catching a local vandal who has slashed more than 55 tires in his neighborhood. You have to applaud him because he organized neighborhood watches, spoke to local papers and pretty much lead the charge to bring down the criminal when in fact he was the one slashing the tires. He also at one point tricked his neighbors into donating enough money to pay for his entire wedding. He's kind of a genius.

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