johnny depp

Horror Headlines: Friday November 5th, 2010

Tim Burton and super hunk Johnny Depp will finally begin filming the big screen version of "Dark Shadows" this April. For those of you not familiar with the original TV show it's kind of like "Soup" but not funny, with vampires and a lot of English accents. Of course I learned all this from a TV commercial selling the entire series on DVD so I could be off.

I've yet to figure out what a producer actually does but John Carpenter is apparently set to be the executive producer on Dennison Ramalho's new film "The Hell Within". Apparently the entire movie will be shot in Brazil so I'm starting to think old John John is just looking for a vacation.

What's next up on the remake list? "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things", the 1973 zombie flick which I'm 99% sure was shot on someone's home camera. Did they have home cameras back then? I have no clue, maybe that's a really good thing for back then. What a strange and wondrous world it must of been back in the 70's.

Oh boy, who's as excited as me for the second episode of "The Walking Dead"? No one, that's the answer, no one could possibly be as excited as I am. Anyway here's a sneak peek at the second episode, don't even try to pretend that you wet yourself like I did. That's Joe's thing!

In Real People News: 

Too far America, too far! San Francisco has apparently passed a low making it illegal to include free toys with unhealthy meals. Meaning the McDonald's Happy Meal is a no-no for kids anymore. You win the world series and all of a sudden you think you can play god. I know I know, it's a long shot making a sports joke on a horror website.

Yes, yes and yes. I want this. It's the world's largest coffee, holding a stunning 2,010 gallons of the good stuff put together together by the people at GourmetGiftBaskets.com. I hope it's black, I only drink mine black. Only hippies use cream and sugar.

On this day in history: 

2009 - A shooting rampage at the Fort Hood Army post in Texas left 13 people dead; Maj. Nidal Hasan, an Army psychiatrist, was charged in the worst mass killing on a U.S. military base

Horror Headlines: Friday July 24th, 2009

Hey guys, Louis Fowler here, live from Comic-Con '09! And, by Comic-Con '09, I mean my office in my underwear. Crap...I just dropped Toaster Strudel on my chest. The jelly is getting all mingled in my lush chest-hair. This wouldn't happen if I was wearing my homemade Flash costume...

Forest Whitaker and 50 Cent will play “intense” dueling personalities in the umpteenth retelling of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”, according to MTV. This makes me a bit mad because they both turned down my cop movie “Lazy Eye and Mumble Mouth: NYPD” to do it.

After he's done with “Alice in CGI-land”, Tim Burton's next movie will be a remake/retelling/reimagining of the 1960s cult vampire soap opera “Dark Shadows”. Let's place bets now that Johnny Depp is in it. Is it just me or is Tim Burton out of ideas? When he's not destroying the Ozone Layer applying copious amounts of Aquanet to his Robert Smith-like coif, I think that he's too busy rolling around naked in piles of money made off the fleshy backs of 30-year-old women who's wardrobe mainly consists of “Nightmare Before Christmas” hoodies to come up with anything original ever again. Seriously ladies, it's called TJ Maxx. Get yourself a nice pantsuit, on me.

Swarthy homunculus Danny DeVito, taking a break from banging that hot piece of ass known as Rhea Perlman, has started an original horror film website called “The Blood Factory”. Danny DeVito? Are they “short” films? Hahahahahaha...oh, wait, they are. I give the website a year, but, then again, that's what I said about Ted Danson's “Becker”, and that lasted at least three years, two of them HILARIOUS.

I don't know why it hasn't been pimped here, but how about you do yourself a favor and download “Who Wants a Tortilla?”, a joint project between BGH and Night of the Living Podcast, starring me and Chiz, and filmed at last spring's HorrorHound Weekend! We make Tom Savini uncomfortable!

In Real People News: 

In the past ten days, $10.2 billion dollars worth of marijuana have been confiscated in Fresno, California. When I asked my pot-smoking neighbor Chad “Kind Bud” Budderson for comment, he said: “Hey man, this is like, bullshit! Man, did you know that, like, President Obama has his own private field of weed, just like Kennedy and Thomas Jefferson, man? People gotta tell City Hall that, you know, you can make rope and glaucoma out of weed, bro! War on drugs, let's make it a war on shwag! Hahahahahaha...dude! Do you ever stop to think about...the universe?”

Gidget, the beloved illegal immigrant chihuahua who won America's hearts through her “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” ad, passed away at the ripe old age of 13 this week. And who had to pay for her medical care? The American Taxpayer, I'm sure!

Speaking of lovable chihuahuas, who doesn't want a five-legged one? We all would—that little vestigial leg is just more to love! The adorable puppy, named Lily, was rescued from a freak show on Coney Island at a cost of $4000. The fifth leg, located in the puppy's butt, made it impossible for Lily to sit, lay down or really even walk, but I would be two busy hugging and kissing her little nose to notice. Luckily, the new owners did notice and had the leg surgically removed, to the tune of $2000. I LOVE YOU 5-LEGGED PUPPY!

Trailer For Tim Burton's “Alice” UPDATED!

So for the past month or so we’ve been seeing more and more images coming out for Tim Burton’s “Alice In Wonderland”. Well not we’ve got the first official teaser trailer for the film which is currently set for a March 5th, 2010 release.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday July 7th, 2009

"The Gate 3D" has secured $1.9 million and will begin shooting in Germany shortly, under the direction of Alex Winter. Winter starred in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" in the 80's, and also directed the 1993 cult classic "Freaked".

Vanity Fair has a few, slightly new pics from "Alice in Wonderland", directed by Tim Burton and starring Helena Bohnam Carter, Johnny Depp and Anne Hathaway.

Darren Lynn Bousman lines up comic adaptation for after he's finished shooting the "Mother's Day" remake.

In Real People News: 

Naked man arrested for running into an arcade on the California/Nevada state line... says he took some LSD and thought he was "the Terminator". Awesome.

This is what happens when internet fights turn into real life fights complete with ear-biting. Just let it go people, let it go.

Gay lumberjacks protest teabaggers. Easily the best headline this week.

On this day in history: 

1665: King Charles II and his entourage flee London, a city suffering the ravages of the black plague. At this point, about 2,000 Londoners are dying weekly.

Horror Headlines: Wednesdady June 24th, 2009

Depp says Burton will be tackling his adaptation of "Dark Shadows" immediately after they finish up "Alice". No one seems to be asking if there's even potential in a remake of the cheesy TV vampire soap. Right now I'm more interested to see how his "Alice in Wonderland" adaptation goes.

I get it, poster for the festival hit "Dead Girl", lips look like vaginas. Actually, ya, that's a pretty sweet poster.

M. Night Shyamalan now has his very own official site. It stars M. Night Shyamalan in an M. Night Shyamalan produced project, where M. Night Shyamalan plays the most important person in the world who is meant to save us all by saying profound things in really childish and oversimplified ways. Sounds awesome, no?

In Real People News: 

Naked thief snatches food from drive-thru window and runs away with his prize. If you're having a tough day, that mental image is guaranteed to make you laugh.

This is the look of a man who just stabbed someone, and is awfully happy with himself. It's also the satisfied look of a Floridian. Coincidentally, pretty similar.

Poland's UFO files have been stolen. At the link, an interview with the guy who probably should have done something about it. (Good read though for conspiracy theorists like myself)

On this day in history: 

1374: In a sudden outbreak of Dancing Mania (aka "St. John's Dance"), people in the streets of Aix-la-Chapelle experience terrible hallucinations and begin to jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapse from exhaustion. Many of the sufferers are afflicted with frothing at the mouth, diabolical screaming, and sexual frenzy. The phenomenon lasts well into the month of July. Nowadays, ergot madness is suspected as being the ultimate cause of the disorder.

Burton's "Alice..." Stills are Giving me Nightmares

Even if you hadn't heard about the movie previously, would you really blink if I told you that Tim Burton is directing a re-imagination of "Alice in Wonderland" with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter in starring roles? Of course you wouldn't. Although many people are getting sick of Burton's creepy power couple, it seems that he's got a couple of tricks up his sleeve to keep things fresh, mainly using CGI to augment and distort live action, a technique which has come into use recently with action films, but hasn't been stretched (no pun intended) to this level before.

Episode 9 - "Sweeney Todd" and "Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem"

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