david slade

★ ★ ★ ½

Kenny Doughty has been added to the cast of Bong Joon-Ho's "Snow Piercer" and while I've never seen a movie he's been in he kind of looks like he's terminally ill so I'm going to hold back on the comments. The movie tells the tale of a group of people trapped on a train after the world has frozen over. I've talked about this a lot this morning. I still have no idea how trains work when the world is frozen.

Everything I know about Atilla the Hun I learned from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and even that I don't remember too well. I think I remember him messing up a sporting goods store or something. But Warner Bros. is going to fix that for me with a new film that will tell the full story of Mr. Hun. I wonder if they'll get to the part where he's taken to the future to help two kids get an A on their history final. I hope so.

Stick with me here, because I'm going to try to explain the new movie "Bloodloss". It's a found footage flick about a filmmaker who's investigation into his sister's disappearance leads him into the underworld culture of real life "vampires". Alright now that I write it down I guess it's not that confusing. it's also not that interesting. I'm sorry I ever brought it up.

David Slade, the guy who brought you "30 Days Of Night" has been tapped by the people behind the new "Hannibal" series to direct the show's pilot. the NBC show will follow the "Red Dragon" story line and tell the story of a budding romance between Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter. I think. I don't know, I've never read the book but I do love a good romance.

Brace yourself. David Slade, director of "30 Days of Night", will be directing the third film in the "Twilight" franchise, subtitled "Eclipse". Uh... what? Slade has not made a statement yet, but I'm sure someone is tracking him down right now to ask him what the hell he's thinking.

Rumors are that Rooney Mara is in final negotiations to play "Nancy" in the remake of "A Nightmare on Elm St." No confirmation yet, but the source seems reliable from what I read at the link.

The director of "S. Darko" says he's in the process of remaking the 1978 film "The Eyes of Laura Mars". That may be the most obscure sentence I've ever written.

"Chaos Experiment" is about a scientist working on a theory that humanity will devolve into violence by 2012 due to global warming, and attempting to prove that by locking a bunch of half-naked people in a sauna. Not exactly the most scientific experiment, but it is a really good way for filmmakers to force their stars to be in their underwear for 90 minutes.

A body cast of Arnold Schwarzenegger, taken at the time of the first "Terminator" film, is being used to create a fully functional CGI character of Arnie for "Terminator Salvation". THAT, should be interesting.

"Wolverine" producer looking for a writer so she can make a "Constantine" sequel. Huh, I'm one of the few that enjoyed the first "Constantine", and that sentence STILL makes my head hurt.