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Horror Headlines: Thursday April 23rd, 2009

Brace yourself. David Slade, director of "30 Days of Night", will be directing the third film in the "Twilight" franchise, subtitled "Eclipse". Uh... what? Slade has not made a statement yet, but I'm sure someone is tracking him down right now to ask him what the hell he's thinking.

Rumors are that Rooney Mara is in final negotiations to play "Nancy" in the remake of "A Nightmare on Elm St." No confirmation yet, but the source seems reliable from what I read at the link.

The director of "S. Darko" says he's in the process of remaking the 1978 film "The Eyes of Laura Mars". That may be the most obscure sentence I've ever written.

"Chaos Experiment" is about a scientist working on a theory that humanity will devolve into violence by 2012 due to global warming, and attempting to prove that by locking a bunch of half-naked people in a sauna. Not exactly the most scientific experiment, but it is a really good way for filmmakers to force their stars to be in their underwear for 90 minutes.

A body cast of Arnold Schwarzenegger, taken at the time of the first "Terminator" film, is being used to create a fully functional CGI character of Arnie for "Terminator Salvation". THAT, should be interesting.

"Wolverine" producer looking for a writer so she can make a "Constantine" sequel. Huh, I'm one of the few that enjoyed the first "Constantine", and that sentence STILL makes my head hurt.

In Real People News: 

Police detonate a bag full of cans because they were worried there was a bomb inside, turns out it was just full of shit. Nothing to see here folks, move along.

What would you do if you found a mummified cat in the walls of your house while renovating? Apparently if you're these people, the answer is "put it back".

On this day in history: 

1951: Lenny Bruce is arrested in Miami Beach, Florida for fraudulently soliciting funds for a leper colony while dressed as a priest.

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