Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 11th, 2011

Two difference between "Buried" and the new movie "Coffin". First, "Coffin" doesn't take place entirely in a box like "Buried". Second, and probably most importantly, only "Coffin" has Kevin "Mutha F'in Hercules" Sorbo. Get some! You can see Sorbo and all the not entirely shot in a box goodness in the new trailer that's recently hit the tubes.

If you read Eric's review of "Bonnie & Clyde vs. Dracula" on this very site almost 3 years ago and have been hoping and waiting for the movie to hit DVD than your long wait is finally over. Get pumped! What are you going to do with all your free time now that you're done waiting? Maybe learn sign language or something. Do something with your life!

Aaron Eckhart, Sean Bean and Anna Sophia Robb have all signed on to "Pan", a new dark take on the classic tale of "Peter Pan". For those of you hoping to see Eckhart's man bits stuffed inside some green tights I'm sorry to tell you he'll play Hook in the film, no word yet on who will play Pan. If you want though maybe try to contact Eckhart and see if he'll wear tights for you anyway. I don't know, he seems like a nice guy.

Ethan Hawke is the latest name to be attached to the "Total Recall" remake but don't get too excited because word around campus is he'll only be making a cameo in the film. What that means I have no idea because how do you make a cameo in a remake of a movie you weren't originally in? Am I missing something? Was he Quato? Is he going to be Quato? If not can I be Quato? Quato Quato!

In Real People News: 

A 20 year old Pittsburgh student was shot and killed recently while trying to trade his iPad for drugs, heroin to be exact. Was it because he tried to trade it for the white one? No one wants the white one, especially not some hard core guys with some primo smack. That's just common knowledge.

I like to think she was trying to recreate that awesome scene from "Return of the Living Dead" but my guess is this Arizona woman was just all drugged up when she was arrested in a cemetery while dancing naked. Of course in the movie the girl ends up getting eaten by zombies so I guess in the long run just getting arrested is no so bad.

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