brett ratner makes schnaars angry

Horror Headlines: Friday June 12th, 2009

Megan Fox tells MTV that Jonah Hex is going to be amazing. She also says that blah blah blah God damn she's hot.

More pics from Rob Zombie's "Halloween 2". I only post them because the director's cut of "Halloween" is our topic for discussion next week on the podcast, so I have to subject myself to it this weekend. I'm currently devising ways to try and stop the pain while it's playing. Suggestions welcome.

First stills from the Woody Harrelson zombie comedy "Zombieland", or as I like to call it, "a probably fun film that will most assuredly be the official zombie jumping the shark moment when historians look back to this time".

Marcus Nispel officially has the job directing the "Conan" remake. This has Schnaars really broken up, he was really hoping Brett Ratner would get the job.

Some bloody "Piranha 3D" pics. I'm marginally excited for this. I would say "really excited", but let's not forget that "Mirrors" wasn't supposed to be the funniest film of last year. It's hard to tell what will happen when Aja actually tries to be funny... he is French after all.

Neil Marshall is reportedly in talks to direct the "Predators" sequel for Robert Rodriguez. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my head because it just blew straight off my fucking shoulders.

In Real People News: 

Guy's arm gets cut off in bakery machine, employers make him work the rest of the day. When authorities finally found out, it was too late to attach the arm. Looks like someone's got some 'splainin to do.

I'm not an expert in human relations, but I'm guessing if you don't want to get your ass kicked by a cop, saying to them "fuck you pig, I'll shit all over you too. I'm going to throw shit in your mouth!" probably isn't the best way to achieve your goal.

Couple who missed downed Air France flight killed in car crash. You can't say Tony Todd didn't warn them in an unreasonably creepy voice.

On this day in history: 

1994: Nicole Brown Simpson and her male friend Ronald Goldman are savagely murdered in front of Simpson's condominium complex in Brentwood, California. The most plausible suspect turns out to be Nicole's estranged husband O.J., who is arrested for the crime a month later. We all pretty much know what happened after that.

Horror Headlines: Friday May 8th, 2009

New in theaters today, J.J. Abrams "Star Trek". Meanwhile, "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" is in its second week. Now, on with today's horror news!

The UK version of "Gorezone" has the first official still from the "Children of the Corn" remake that lands on the Scifi channel this summer. He's got corn growing out of his eyes, people!

Catch 4 minutes from "Terminator: Salvation", before it hits theaters May 21st.

The third TV spot for "Drag Me To Hell" has officially landed. I'm still not convinced, but most of our readers seem to be, so I guess we'll find out on May 29th.

Darren Lynn Bousman to direct "Mother's Day" remake/trilogy. We've known he was doing the remake for a little while now, but in this press release comes the head-scratching information that they're shooting to make an entire trilogy out of the remake of the Charlie Kaufman directed TROMA classic. Want to know something even weirder? The film is being triple-produced by Twisted Pictures, The Genre Company, and get this, Brett Ratner's Rat Entertainment. Oh boy, I don't even know where to start with this story.

Keanu Reeves to star in "Jekyl", a modern day telling of "Jekyl and Hyde" for Universal. This is a stretch for him, considering it's out of his "robot/wooden alien" comfort zone. Can he still pull human off? Na, I didn't think so either.

In Real People News: 

I would say this is how you smuggle exotic birds onto a plane, but this guy got caught so not so much. Instead it's just a way to look like a dumbass on the internet, and be really mean on some birds. So, congrats on both counts, guy.

Time to feel girly... this 17 year old British girl drinks a litre of vodka and eight beers a day, meaning she could kick your ass in a drinking contest any time you're feeling brave. Of course, she's not exactly having fun while doing it, so what's really going on is I just made an unfunny joke about an even unfunnier story. Go me.

Afghanistan's ONLY pig was taken off display at the zoo so as to not panic visitors concerned about the Swine Flu. I have no idea why, but the thought of Afghanistan only having ONE pig made me laugh out loud this morning. You're welcome.

On this day in history: 

1902: Mt. PeleƩ erupts on the West Indies island of Martinique. A wall of superheated ash and rock cascades down the slopes, slamming directly into the community of Saint Pierre. The shockwave and intense heat even manage to destroy twenty ships in the harbor. Only two of the town's 28,000 residents survive the cataclysm.

Mr. Kaufman Goes To Washington

Lloyd Kaufman, founder of Troma studios and director of such seminal classics as "The Toxic Avenger" and "Poultrygeist", has long been a supporter of the internet, and even the downloading of his own films. The way he sees it, his company is often "blacklisted" (his words) from major chain stores because of their controversial films, so if a kid in Illinois finds out about Troma by downloading his latest picture, that's ultimately a win in his eyes.

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