you're next

We're on the eve of the big event and our horror movie marathon draws to a close.  It's a sad time to know that the perfect excuse to binge watch movies will soon be out of grasp, but alas we must carry on.  (We'll still be watching Horror Movies too, don't worry!) 

It's October, as we all know.  A time for scares, a time for chills, and a time for pumpkin spice flavored everything.  I'd like to change things up for this, the thirteenth day of the "31 Days of Horror" and say that this month has something else in the air; love. Sure, I know you're looking at me funny right now, but it's true.  A love of horror movies and all things scary can be a solid backing for the start of a long lasting relationship.  It's not even the whole "she'll get scared and want to be held" stuff either.

While tallying the final votes for the annual BGH Top Ten countdown, one trend became immediately clear, even if it wasn’t obvious as the year progressed: 2013 was the year of the alt-horror movie. Some may argue the point, but depending on your tally, we’re looking at roughly three of the top ten and six of the top 15 films that could be considered “true” horror -- that is, film’s whose primary aim is to scare and excite.

The reality is that starting with the number one film, and moving down the top ten, most of these films come with caveats or tongues planted firmly in cheek.

Top 10

10. American Mary
You had me at “stripper”.

9. World War Z
Was it true to the book? Was it better than the book? Did it stay true to the book? I have no idea, I never read the book. Brad Freakin' Pitt folks. All your arguments are negated by those two pools of fantasy we call eyes.

I was gaga over this "You're Next" when it was in theaters a few months back. Mostly because I like looping songs, masks and Craig T. Nelson. Well good news for me and everyone else who likes awsome things because it's just been announced that the home invasion flick will hit Blu-Ray and other homeless-people-medias on January 14th. The disc will come with a making-of featurette, two commentary tracks and god knows what else. Just to be clear Craig T. Nelson is not in this movie. I just really like him.

Clive Barker has dropped the bomb that he will in fact write the script for the upcoming "Hellraiser" remake. Want to get moister? The original Pinhead himself Doug Bradley will reprise his role. Want to get moister!? I'm wearing one of those old-timey pajama numbers where the bottom flips down so you can make BM. Alright that last one was a lie, but I kind of wanted to see what sort of sick crap you're into. Sinner.

Andre Ovredal created "Troll Hunter" and because I loved that movie and all things Norwegian I want to be his best friend. I now know why he isn't returning my letters though, it's because he's working on "The Autopsy of Jane Doe", a new film about a father son mortuary team who begin to unravel the mystery surrounding a Jane Doe they receive. No word on a cast yet but the project is set to begin filming in London shortly. Alright, I haven't really written him or anything. No one writes letters anymore. They UPS hair dolls.

Tim Daly, Mario van Peebles, Cody Christian and Willa Ford have all been confirmed to be joining the cast of Steven C. Miller's "Submerged". I read the plot to this film a good 4 times but I really just kept thinking about how I think Willa Ford is probably 300 years old now and is still hot. How is that possible? Wasn't she a pop star back in the 90's? What the hell is going on? Wait no, she's 32. That's younger than I am and I'm hideous. This has taken a terrible turn.

There is no better friend to the independent horror filmmaker that Larry Fessenden; his work as producer and actor in many of the early films of the new indie horror movement, and his dedication and devotion to horror filmmaking as one of the only places left for a true film auteur, have made him something of a patron saint to the independent horror filmmaking world. It’s just the icing on the cake that he also happens to be a great filmmaker, too.

We review the latest slasher to hit theaters.

The long gestating festival gem "You're Next" has finally been released to the general public. Originally produced in 2011, it fell a similar fate to last year's "Cabin in the Woods"; being a very well received critical darling but getting put on the back burner for other studio material. Featuring a score of Indie horror icons (Joe Swanberg, Ti West, and writer/actor Simon Barrett), "You're Next" is a prime example of the next generation in horror beginning to surface for prime time exposure.

It's been a while since we've talked about Rob Zombie but now that his "The Lords Of Salem" is close to seeing the light of day it's time to thrust his loins back into your face. Sounds awful, right? Well it appears Mr. Zombie's witch revenge flick has sparked quite the bidding war with Anchor Bay being the front runner, offering close to $1.5 million for the film. I think we should start anew with Rob so I'll hold back on any stupid comments... I will mention how annoying his wife is though, but that's all.

If you've been on the edge of your seat waiting for the new "Godzilla" reboot then I am happy to tell you the wait is over because the good people at Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures have announced that the flick will hit theaters on May 16th 2014. I mean you have to wait till then, and that's a pretty long time away, but you don't have to wait to know how long you have to wait. You get it? "Wait" by White Lion is a great song.

Adam Wingard's "You're Next" has also found itself a release date in the form of August 23rd 2013. The flick is about a family on vacation when they find themselves being hunted by a group of mysterious killers. They wear masks I think. If they wore Godzilla masks this would tie in really nicely wouldn't it. The lead singers of White Lion's name is Mike Tramp, that always grossed me out.

I have no idea why I keep talking about "Scary movie 5" but the rumor going around that Lindsay Lohan has faked having walking pneumonia is kind of awesome so I think you people need to know about it. Apparently she's a little pissy about the fact that the small role she was set to play had her mocking her own career and downward spiral. I for one am also pissed about it. I don't care what she does, she will always be my sweetheart. My cracked out sloppy mess of a sweetheart.

"You're Next" is a new "vacation gone bad because of a bunch of nut jobs" flick that's getting all kinds of giggles and gaggles from the peanut gallery. Yes I know that doesn't make any sense but I'm running out of creative ways to say a movie looks good. Check out the new poster for the flick which features a creepy mask all covered in blood. It'll really make your hog-swallow turn a randy flipgate on a dime.

Word around campus is Mr. Tom Cruise is in discussion to take the lead role in the upcoming flick "We Mortals Are". The movie is being described as "Source Code" but with aliens or as I'll call it a movie I fell asleep watching... with aliens. The film will be directed by Doug Liman and watched by no one.

Yes yes Lars Von Tier said some pretty stupid things but hot hog if his new end of the world flick "Melancholia" doesn't look good. I know I'm surprised by my chipper mood today too. And today we've got a new motion poster for the flick which comes out on 11-11-11. The movie stars Kirsten Dunst who won best actress at Cannes this past May for her role in the flick. Her snaggle tooth took home runner up.

In what might be the most shocking news of the last 15 minutes it looks like "Hostel III" will be heading direct to DVD this coming December. I know I had expected a big Hollywood premier event also. You can probably guess the plot of this one so I'll just tell you it takes place in Vegas. Feel free to do your own awful "Swingers" impressions now.