Alright so its been a solid 2 weeks. I know you were all worried, but I have a good explanation. See I was surfing around the internet and found this video of a show I went to over 11 years ago. Just look at it. People going all ape shit and being awful. I remember leaving the concert covered in other people's sweat. Sounds awful, right?
I was gaga over this "You're Next" when it was in theaters a few months back. Mostly because I like looping songs, masks and Craig T. Nelson. Well good news for me and everyone else who likes awsome things because it's just been announced that the home invasion flick will hit Blu-Ray and other homeless-people-medias on January 14th. The disc will come with a making-of featurette, two commentary tracks and god knows what else. Just to be clear Craig T. Nelson is not in this movie. I just really like him.
Clive Barker has dropped the bomb that he will in fact write the script for the upcoming "Hellraiser" remake. Want to get moister? The original Pinhead himself Doug Bradley will reprise his role. Want to get moister!? I'm wearing one of those old-timey pajama numbers where the bottom flips down so you can make BM. Alright that last one was a lie, but I kind of wanted to see what sort of sick crap you're into. Sinner.
Andre Ovredal created "Troll Hunter" and because I loved that movie and all things Norwegian I want to be his best friend. I now know why he isn't returning my letters though, it's because he's working on "The Autopsy of Jane Doe", a new film about a father son mortuary team who begin to unravel the mystery surrounding a Jane Doe they receive. No word on a cast yet but the project is set to begin filming in London shortly. Alright, I haven't really written him or anything. No one writes letters anymore. They UPS hair dolls.
Tim Daly, Mario van Peebles, Cody Christian and Willa Ford have all been confirmed to be joining the cast of Steven C. Miller's "Submerged". I read the plot to this film a good 4 times but I really just kept thinking about how I think Willa Ford is probably 300 years old now and is still hot. How is that possible? Wasn't she a pop star back in the 90's? What the hell is going on? Wait no, she's 32. That's younger than I am and I'm hideous. This has taken a terrible turn.
Two high school students in Georgia are in big trouble after they were video taped making dirty dirty in their school cafeteria. Once again proving the point that I went to the worst god damn high school in the world. Plus, I was fat in hIgh school. Plus, I listen to metal and had long hair. Plus, I hate you all.
In our first found footage classic pack we took a look at some of the best -- and one or two of the worst -- that the sub-genre has to offer. But those podcast episodes were by no means the last word, so we're back with a second round in this new classic pack.
Elizabeth Banks is the latest name to be added to the cast of "The Hunger Games", a post apocalyptic flick that centers around a group of children who are sent to battle each other for their homelands. No clue what role Banks will play but if I was a betting man I'd say she isn't going to be one of the children. Unless they do that weird CGI adult head on a baby. But that's just creepy and no one wants to see that. Ever.
A couple of new stills and a poster have popped up on the tubes for Lars Von Trier's upcoming end of the world film "Melancholia". I don't care how many posters, stills or trailers they release for this movie that tell me otherwise I am 100% positive someone is getting a hammer to the penis in this film. You can't fool me Lars! You crafty son of a bitch.
As far as I know R.L. Stine's work has never made it to the big screen but it looks like that's about to change. While we wait for a Goosebumps movie to come to life his book "It's the First Day of School" has been picked up by the Holly of Woods and will be coming to the silver screen in the near future. I'm already looking to enjoying how uncomfortable it's going to be sitting along in a theater full of children because I have to watch this for the podcast. Piss off, Chris Hanson, I have to be here!
Well I can't say I'm surprised but I also can't say I'm excited. "Troll Hunter", my favorite movie of all time this week is going to see a U.S. remake in the near future. While nothing has been signed the film's director André Øvredal has confirmed the remake will be happening but the good news is he sounds positive about it. Or at least that's what people think, everything those Norwegians say sounds like the recording of a talking German robot being played backwards.
In Real People News:
A 24 year old Australian man is going on trial for the murder of his roommate after they got into an argument after he refused to turn off his Limp Bizkit CD. If my roommate in college tried to murder me every time I forced him to listen to Limp Bizkit I wouldn't have made it past the first week. Durst fans, we need to unite.
Wait it's illegal to drive around McDonald's parking lot and run over ducks? Since when!? Who gives a crap about ducks? F this crap. I say we all drive to Michigan and demand this man be released! He isn't in jail you say? Well let's demand he be put in there and then released immediately.
"Troll Hunter" is a Norwegian film about a group of students who hunt trolls. See where they got the name from? Well the clever PR folks have put up an official application so you can become an honorary troll hunter. Sounds awesome, right? Sure the entire application is in Norwegian but who doesn't speak that these days. Those Viking lovers are so hot right now.
To capture the magic of Bill Murray's appearance in "Zombieland" the makers of "Zombieland 2" are currently on the hunt for a star of equal caliber to make a surprise appearance. No surprise there, unless you haven't gotten around to seeing the first film yet in which case I apologize for ruining the surprise for you. I'm a bad person.
Here's a trailer for "Grave Encounter's", a new found footage film about a group of reality show hosts who go around looking at haunted houses. The catch is apparently they actually find something. Not like those ass clowns on "River Monsters", they haven't found one actual monster.
Am I the only one who still gets Judd Nelson and Robert Downey Jr. mixed up? I can't be. Well anyway here's a trailer for the new sci-fi/horror flick called "Shadow People" staring "Iron Man" himself. Wait, no... the other one. Which one was in "The Breakfast Club"? Yeah that one, he's the guy in this movie.
Dan Aykroyd has fired off some info around the upcoming "Ghostbusters 3" film and here's a short run down. Bill Murray and Sigourney Weaver are still in. Bill Hader, Anna Faris and Eliza Dushku are still maybes. And lastly no confirmation on me, but I assume my offer is coming any day now.
In Real People News:
Hey Harry Potter sickos! Warner Bros. has trademarked Quidditch lingerie so in the off chance you can convince a woman to actually come over to your parent's basement, soon you'll have something creepy to ask her to put on.
I'm pretty sure this is how "Repo Men" started. A Russian man who forked over cash for his girlfriends breast implants now wants his assets back that they've broken up. Alright so he isn't going to go over to her house and take them back, but the hospital may. Probably not in a back alley or anything cool though. We can hope.