watchmen

Horror Headlines: Thursday June 23rd, 2011

"Watchmen" writer Alex Tse has been picked up by the fellas at Relativity Media to pen the long delayed remake of "The Crow". For those of you who weren't fortunate enough to be a part of the madness that was the original 1994 flick, it starred Brandon Lee as a man who comes back from the dead to avenge his and his fiancee's murder. Brandon Lee also died on the set... and the movie sucked... and it pretty much created Hot Topics. Can't wait.

John Lithgow and a bunch of apes. I've had dreams that start like this. But that's neither here nor there my friends because a new international trailer for "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" has hit the tubes and it's full of hot monkey on monkey action. The film focuses on apes that will eventually take over the planet in the distant future. I should apologize to those of you who may have been under the impression there was monkey porn in the trailer based on my comments. Sickos.

For those of you out there who were actually excited about David R. Ellis’ "Shark night 3D" I've got some bad news for the 7 of you. The shark attack camp out flick has been slapped with a PG-13 by the folks at the MPAA. Just so we're clear PG-13 means no nudity, minimal swearing and most importantly absolutely no fun whatsoever. Boo this man!

Looks like the Miami Metro Police is getting itself an intern in the form of Josh Cooke. Cookie (new nickname I've just decided to give him) will join the cast of "Dexter" for season 6 which is currently ramping up for production. Sir Cooks A Lot will play a new addition to the team and apparently become buddy buddy with creepy bald Asian, Masuka. I smell romance!

In Real People News: 

Colorado police are on the hunt for a man who has apparently been hiding inside the tank of a large portable toilet at an outside yoga festival. There's really nothing funny or sarcastic that could make this any weirder so let's just agree to never speak of it again. Moving along now.

If I was going to list the most frightening ways to die I'm pretty sure having a 300 pound man attack me with a battle ax would probably make the top 10. And here's a story about a man who was murdered in just such a way. Poor SOB.

The DVD Bargain Bin

Hilarious Fake "Dr. Manhattan" Video Game

This video is pretty hilarious/awesome, but be forewarned that it might be NSFW... if crude 8-bit penises are the kind of thing your boss might frown upon. It's your move, people.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 16th, 2009

Here's the teaser for Park Chan Wook's vampire film "Thirst". I have no idea what's going on since it's in Korean but people seem excited so I'm just going to go with it.

The guy who wrote "Watchmen", David Hayter is going to direct a werewolf thriller called "Slaughter's Road". No real details as of yet, but Thomas Dekker ("The Sarah Connor Chronicles") and Ray Stevenson ("Punisher: War Zone") are in talks to star.

AICN has the first look at "Goon", the CGI adaptation of Eric Powell's comic book of the same name, being produced by David Fincher. I've never heard of the property but it looks pretty sweet to me.

I'm sure this movie "And Soon the Darkness" is about something. Personally, I stopped reading after "starring Amber Heard and Odette Youstman". What are they trying to start the apocalypse? Do they sincerely thing our pea-brains can handle all that hotness on one movie screen?

In Real People News: 

Officials are trying to ban genital waxing in New Jersey. This should be fine, since there aren't any hairy Italian people running around... oh wait...

Hiding stuff in plain sight is sometimes a great tact... unless of course you're talking about growing weed. In that case, keeping the plants on your front porch might not be a great idea.

When he dies Michael Jackson plans to be "plastinated", just like those poor Chinese people in the "Body Worlds" exhibit currently traveling the country. Enjoy that breakfast!

On this day in history: 

1942: John Wayne Gacy, part time clown, serial killer, and sodomizer of dozens of boys, is born in Chicago. His father was convinced Gacy was a "sissy", but friends and family didn't really suspect anything untoward was afoot until his 1968 arrest for coercing a teenage boy employee into committing multiple homosexual acts.

Box Office Special: Stopping By The "Last House"

The box office cooled off a bit this week, which shouldn't come as a surprise. The "Watchmen" build-up had reached almost intolerable levels going into last weekend, and movie goers and industry types all probably just needed a weekend off from feeding at the trough of hype. There were a trio of new releases though, including the "Last House on the Left" remake, which became the sixth horror release of 2009.

Who watches the Watchmen? I do!

In the event that you live in a cave, or under a rock, you know full well that this past weekend marked the release of Zack Snyder's "Watchmen". The internet is a buzz with post viewing talk and for myself, I feel the need to join them!

Horror Headlines: Friday February 6th, 2009

Although not a horror film, "Watchmen" gets released wide in the US today, and I'm sure a lot of our fans will be interested in seeing it. Here's hoping it turns out half as good as it looks.

April 16th, 2010. That's the date that Platinum Dunes plans to release its "Nightmare on Elm St." remake. So, now you know.

Here's the trailer for Jake West's Indie film "Dog House. West's last film was "Punpkinhead 3" for the Scifi, and before that he directed "Evil Aliens". The story of "Doghouse" concerns a group of friends who take a vacation to a small town in the UK, only to find out that all the town's females have been infected with a virus, which based on what I saw in the trailer turns them into zombies.

I think I could get into an adaptation of this "Ghosts/Aliens" book. It's literally about "two pothead friends who set out on a question to discover both ghosts and aliens". It just got picked up by Paramount Vantage, and along with a feature film version, Comedy Central will be prepping a television show based on the property.

Wes Craven describes the villain in his film "25/8". He says he's: "a figure who lives under the river, sleeps under the bridges... eats bark". And there we have it, the secret of his anger. You'd be killing people too if you had to eat bark. That's just nasty.

In Real People News: 

What we have here is a classic story of man meets woman through personal ads, they make a connection, and she bites his tongue clear off. She was at least nice enough to put it in a plastic bag and hand it to police officers when they arrived. Ain't love grand?

It looks like the popular drug therapy of the 90's, using MDMA for psycho-therapeutic reasons, is making a comeback in Post Tramautic Stress Disorder patients. MDMA is the main ingredient in the party drug "Ecstasy", and had been used for years in therapy before it was outlawed in the 90's.

A Chinese athlete has given up dozens of medals after finding out she's really a man. Yes, you read that right, SHE JUST FOUND OUT that she's not a woman. This link must be clicked, if only for the "no shit, Sherlock" picture provided.

On this day in history: 

1918: The US naval vessel "Cyclops" vanishes in the Bermuda Triangle.

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