uwe boll

Horror Headlines: Monday April 5th, 2010

Submitted by Casey on Monday, Apr 5th 2010

Ryan Reynolds is coming back to horror once again as he's now signed on for Universal Pictures "R.I.P.D", the adaptation of Dark Horse Comics "Rest In Peace Department". Reynolds will be playing office Rick Cruz who recently died and as a result, has been transferred to the departments undead division. Also, he has killer abs... get it?

You know who we don't have enough news on anymore? Clint Howard. Thankfully, I can remedy that today! Take a look at Clint as Joseph Mengele in Uwe Boll's "Blood Rayne III: The Third Reich". It's up to Clint to figure out how to turn Hitler into a Dhampir before Natassia Malthe kicks his arse!

Classic horror mag "Famous Monsters of Filmland" is being brought back to life by IDW and the new cover has been revealed! Known for decades for its in-depth articles on monsters and make up extravaganzas, the return of this classic is pretty exciting! The magazine will re-launch at the Famous Monsters of Filmland convention in Indianapolis, IN July 9-11.

In Real People News:

Two teenagers taking part in the local Des Moines easter egg hunt found an extra surprise this Sunday. While picking up those cute little pastel colored eggs made with love and glitter, then happened across a dead body.

A rural Illinois man has been arrested on two federal charges of Animal Cruelty. Hitting a deer while driving down a country road late at night is an unavoidable accident and is easily excused. When you build a special armored truck and film yourself running down deer to sell on DVD, it's a whole different story.

On this day in history:

1815 - Mount Tambora erupts in what is now Indonesia, killing 12,000 and spewing eighty cubic kilometers of ash into the atmosphere at once. The blast is heard more than 900 miles away, and makes summer feel like winter in many parts of the world.

Trailer: Uwe Boll Presents "Eaters"

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Jan 21st 2010

I've never really understood what "presented by" means in a movie but this Italian zombie flick is "Presented by Uwe Boll". Which kind of got me excited because the film doesn't look half bad and everything is in Italian so you can't tell if the acting is awful or not. Pluses all around. Sure the plot isn't the most original, a couple of guys trying to solve the mystery of why the rest of the world has been turned into zombies, but hey like I said it's "Presented by Uwe Boll".

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Horror Headlines: Monday January 11th, 2009

Submitted by Casey on Monday, Jan 11th 2010

Diablo Cody has decided she likes the horror genre. In a recent press junket, she talked about her plans to produce an upcoming TV series, "Breathers: A Zombies Lament".

Uwe Boll fans can rest easy. The director has announced his return to horror with the announcement for "Bloodyrayne 3: Warhammer". This news leads many horror fans to exclaim, 'There was a second "Bloodrayne"'?

Late last year it was reported that the next "Resident Evil" film would be pushed until 2011. News this weekend reports that whatever issues the film had have been resolved and it's now back on track for a 2010 release.

There's a French zombie flick in the works known as "The Horde". Judging from their new one sheet, the movie will feature both people with guns, and zombies.

In Real People News:

Hong Kong police have arrested a man for dropping jars full of acid into night club crowds.

Lake Tahoe residents are being terrorized by a gigantic bullet scarred black bear. The bear has broken into over 40 homes on the Lake Tahoe shore, eats whatever food he can find then takes a large smelly dump which has come to be known as his calling card. Too bad John Candy isn't around to take care of the beast.

On this day in history:

1960 - Serial killer Henry Lee Lucas kills his 74 year old mother. He tells Toledo police that he raped her corpse, but later recants.

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Horror Headlines: Thursday November 5th, 2009

Submitted by Eric on Thursday, Nov 5th 2009

Another sure sign of the apocalypse? Uwe Boll is about to start shooting "Bloodrayne 3: Warhammer".

Stills from "Piranha 2". If you want my advice, stop after the bikini one, because the next shot is a dried up old Richard Dreyfuss. That won't be good for anyone.

Stop the presses, it's time for "The Toxic Avenger 5: The Toxic Twins". Ok, it's only a promo poster that debuted at this week's American Film Market, but it means that development has come along farther than it has in a long while. Lloyd Kaufman is attached to direct (as usual). That just made my week.

In Real People News:

Wow, allergic to sperm... you don't hear that every day. Don't let your girlfriend/wife know this is a real thing. Trust me.

Wiping your ass with the bible. That's a bold move, not much that can follow that act.

Mayor jokes about opponent being found dead that day, the only thing is his body wasn't found until a few hours later. Nothing to see here folks, move along.

On this day in history:

1605: Parliament is scheduled for detonation in the notorious Gunpowder Plot, in which Catholic conspirators attempted to roll back protestantism in England. Thirty-six barrels of black powder were uncovered in the cellar, and fuses were found in Guy Fawkes' pocket. In consequence, Fawkes was beheaded. Britains now celebrate his death with warm beer and fireworks.

Oh F Me, Uwe Boll's "Far Cry" Comes To DVD

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Oct 28th 2009

Look out everybody, Eric's got a new favorite movie! A year after "Postal" made me so angry I almost quit the internet comes the US release of "Far Cry", Uwe Boll's adaptation of the hit video game with the same. How's it look? Christ how do you think? A majority of the cast seems to have issues with the English language so we're already one foot in the gutter. Or das gutter as Uwe would put it, I think. But to balance that out the guy who played Eddie in both "Eddie and the Cruisers" movies is in this. So I think we're good...

Horror Headlines: Friday July 31st, 2009

Submitted by Louis Fowler on Friday, Jul 31st 2009

Before I woke up to write this, I was having a dream that Prince and I were on the run from Leather face. Even more disturbing, I woke up with a boner. What do you think that means?

Ridley Scott, one of the most overrated directors of all time—yeah, I said it—has signed on to direct the prequel to “Alien”. The original movie made him famous and allowed him to direct such “classics” as “Legend” and “White Squall”. Even though writer Jon Spaihts is currently writing the screenplay, I've used my crystal ball, nicknamed “common sense”, and read the screenplay already: spaceship encounters the alien, alien gets into the ducts, the lights go out, the spaceship's inhabitants are offed one by one and a lone woman survivor takes him down. There, I saved you $10, two hours and countless wasted high hopes.

HBO's “True Blood”, or, as it really should be called, “Twilight for Adults”, has been renewed for a third season. That's at least six more weeks of shower-nozzle masturbation fantasies for the ladies!!!

Geez, it's been a while since we've heard anything from director Uwe Boll, hasn't it? Boll, one of the most underrated directors of all time, and better than Ridley Scott—yeah, I said it—has a new film in the works called “Rampage”, that looks like a deadly serious version of “Postal”, and we all know how much I loved “Postal”. Still, with Boll doing original material, doesn't it make you wistful for the good ol' days when he was just doing one video game adaptation after another? If there was ever a director to make a movie called “Minesweeper”, it would have been him.

In Real People News:

The robots have started their war against man, as witnessed in Sweden. The robot, used to lift heavy rocks, was inexplicably dressed as Yul Brenner in a cowboy outfit. That just seems like they are asking for trouble, if you ask me.

Google engineering “genius” Sasha Blair-Goldensohn was struck in the head by a rotting tree branch while strolling in Central Park, sending him into a coma. I looked up the term “dumb luck” on Google, and was immediately presented with a picture of two dragons screwing a muscle car. So thanks for all your work, Sasha!

According to a study by the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, when you buy organic food, all you're doing is paying a higher price for the phrase “organic” . What the study failed to mention is that they're also paying for that smug sense of self-satisfaction as they are loading their eco-bags into their Prius. This, combined with the news that kombucha tea not only has no proven effects, but can also cause lead poisoning, and we'll have the Newell brothers back into women anyday now. Keep hope alive!

Thanks for joining me for this week's Fowler Friday! Until next week, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!!!

On this day in history:

1969: The San Francisco Chronicle, the Examiner, and the Vallejo Times-Herald receive nearly identical letters from the Zodiac Killer. Specific details are given about recent murder scenes, along with the demand that a "cipher" be printed on on the front page of the papers.