the monster squad

9 Vampire Hunters Not Named "Abraham"

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Opening this weekend is the bizarrely titled but conceptually interesting "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". His notoriety instantaneously makes the 16th President of the United States the most famous vampire slayer amongst his peers. Though it remains to be seen whether or not the film itself can live up to some of the other impressive slayers, killers and purifiers in the realm of cinema vampire lore. So in case Mr. Lincoln doesn't satisfy your bloodlust, here are 9 Essential Vampire Hunter Films.


9. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 16th, 2010

According to screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, the highly anticipated vampire birth in the upcoming "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" won't be very graphic, because she's written it to happen off screen. Should we start preparing for the oncoming tween and soccer mom riots?

In case you were worried for some odd reason, the duo behind the "Crank" films, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, are attempting to tackle the early negotiations for "Ghostrider: Spirit of Vengeance". Now, I know what you're truly worried about in this unwanted sequel, but fear not! Sources say Nic Cage is also in negotiations to return as Johnny Blaze!

Paramount has hired new comers Mark and Brian Gunn to pen their upcoming "Monster Squad" remake. The article also drops a hint that the studio is looking at the project as a potential franchise as well.

Though I've never heard of them myself, toy maker Mattel went and made a series of monster toys infused with those oh so trashy Bratz dolls called "Monster High". Even worse? Universal has already snatched up the title for a feature film.

In Real People News: 

An Ohio landmark, "Big Butter Jesus", a giant yellow statue of the lord and savior raising his arms towards heaven along interstate 75, was struck by lightning and burned to the ground during a sever thunderstorm Monday night. Somebody upstairs fancies himself an art critic.

You thought your parents were strict? A Canadian-Afghan woman faces charges as her 19 year old daughter lies in the hospital suffering from stab wounds. When she came home past her curfew the night before, her mother opted to stab her about the head, chest and arms for her erroneous ways, as opposed to you know, grounding her.

On this day in history: 

1959 - While entertaining friends at his home, George Reeves, who played the title character in the original Superman TV series, goes upstairs to his bedroom and commits suicide with a 9mm German Luger.

Horror Headlines: Friday March 19th, 2010

Since I'm filling in for Fowler Friday this week, I'm going to start off your weekend with a swift kick to the nuts! You know Platinum Dunes and their love of remaking classic franchises? They've now set their sights on "The Monster Squad" for their next remake.

Though they titled the fourth film in the franchise "The Final Destination", Warner Brothers head Alan Horn revealed that they'll be making a fifth "Final Destination". Since they've already raided the gimmick that is 3-D, here's hoping they go old school and add ball shockers to the seats this time.

Even the newly raised from the dead Hammer Studios can't resist the remake band wagon but according to CEO Simon Oakes, they'll be remaking three of their own films. Titles up for the treatment are "Captain Kronos", "Quatermass" and "Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde".

Not content to rest on his mediocre success of "Alice in Wonderland", Tim Burton has already begun plans for his next film. Feeling a bit nostalgic, he's thinking about throwing together a stop motion animated version of "The Addams Family".

In Real People News: 

Jersey City, NJ police officials have captured a serial urinator who has been terrorizing women at bus stops since December. While the ladies waited casually for their morning commute, the perpetrator would stroll up behind them and let loose on their legs. So far this morning, the whereabouts of our own Joe Charnews is still in question. Don't pick up the soap Joe!

Jennifer Mercado found jury duty to be rather boring, so she used the time to swipe the wallet of a fellow juror. Pleased with her new find, she ran to a store across the street during their lunch break to wrack up purchases on the stolen credit cards.

On this day in history: 

1982 - The guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads, dies during the Diary of a Madman tour after the plane he is flying in buzzes the band's tour bus and clips the wing of the plane, crashing into a nearby farmhouse.

Horror Headlines: Monday October 19th, 2009

Derek Mears, your current "Jason Voorhees", joins the cast of Robert Rodriguez's "Predators". Which makes sense, because he's just about the most terrifying human being I've ever seen. In real life that is, not so much in "Friday the 13th".

Paramount is Throwing 10 parties to celebrate this weekend's success of "Paranormal Activity". Find out how you can attend at the link.

Check out these early images from John Carpenter's big screen return "The Ward".

Scott Derrickson, director of "The Exorcism of Emily Rose", has signed on to direct the supernatural thriller "The Living".

Follow me on this one. A script that's been floating around called "Nightcrawlers", has officially gotten a director in Mike Mitchell. It also has a new name... "Monster Squad". Apparently the horror/comedy is being turned into a psuedo/not really remake of Fred Dekker's 80's classic. Here's more info.

In Real People News: 

I always felt a little uncomfortable during drunk taxi rides. Now I know why.

When you hear the phrase "fireworks warehouse in India", you pretty much assume this is how it's going to end.

Oh Halloween... that wonderful time of year when dead bodies are mistaken for Holiday decorations. It's a horror fan's delight really.

On this day in history: 

1982: Maverick carmaker John DeLorean is arrested in Los Angeles with $24M worth of cocaine in his suitcase. The case is later thrown out of court when a judge rules that the FBI sting operation constituted entrapment.

Around the Web

Syndicate content

What's New?

In which we try to make sense of "Return to Nukem High: Volume 1"...

Podcast

This week we discuss The Cure in movie form...

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web