slasher

It's rare to find streaming horror movies that rate above 1 or 2 stars on the good ol' Netflix Instant Watch, but the 2008 slasher, "Babysitter Wanted" rates in at a whopping 3 stars! If that's not enough to hook you, it also stars horror vet Bill Moseley, so there's that... The film, which starts off as a typical cliched slasher flick, takes a surprise twist around the middle which actually makes for a dark, yet highly enjoyable, straight to DVD gem. The basic plot: a college teen is targeted by a scar covered serial killer while babysitting at a remote farmhouse.

I’m going to stray from the norm a little bit this week. I should be using this time to write about the film “Fall Down Dead”, a low-budget slasher flick that’s pretty much everything you’d expect from a low-budget, straight-to-DVD slasher film. It’s a review that I’m sure you’ve read a dozen times by now.

There's nothing I love more than a shitty horror sequel that takes place in Outer Space. While everyone out there claims that "Leprechaun in the Hood" was the best "Leprechaun" movie, all the cool kids know that "Leprechaun 4: In Space" was really the best one. Disagree with me? Well, then you're not a cool kid. Deal with it.

Along those lines, my absolute favorite "Friday the 13th" film is easily "Jason X". Does it suck? Oh absolutely. But is it entertaining? Well, let me just list out some of the crazy shit that happens in this movie:

The 'dark ride' is a venerable staple of fairs, carnivals and theme parks. Sometimes they're innocuous, like Disney's cheery “It's a Small World,” and sometimes they're a bit more sinister, but no matter what mood they try to capture, a theatrically-lit enclosed space full of animatronics is always uncanny.

You can tell a lot about a film by the way its packaged. When sending along a film for review, some companies will take the "less is more" approach, by sending along just the DVD in a generic case and maybe a press release to go with it, letting the viewer do the work. Other companies will give you absolutely every piece of information they can on their film, hoping that something sticks out as worthwhile.

There exist certain openings in the pantheon of films that become timeless. They are lasting images that simultaneously tell you everything you need to know about the film you’re about to watch and become iconic images that transcend the film they’re in. Two enormous spaceships rocketing overhead locked in the heat of battle. A rugged archeologist grabbing a golden idol and outrunning a booby-trapped boulder. A baboon holding up a baby lion on a rock. “I was born a poor black child”. “They’re coming to get you Barbra”.

Maybe the worst film we've ever reviewed... including "Shreik of the Mutilated".

I made a lot of prank calls as a kid. My friends and I were bastards like that. Chances are, if you accidentally dialed one of our cell phones, at some point in time we would be calling you back about something stupid. If you and your friends liked to hang out in the park and do whatever it is teenagers would do out in the woods, there was a non-insignificant chance that we’d be hanging out just out of sight and would be calling you on the park’s pay phone and trying to creep you out. Luckily, we never got caught or otherwise dealt with any negative repercussions of doing this so much.