sasha grey

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 15th, 2011

Listen closely and you can hear a million nerds getting a semi at the same time. What could cause this? Why it's the news that "Harry Potter" director David Yates has been tapped to lead the charge on the big screen adaptation of "Dr. Who". I say semi but it could also be the sound of a million nerds already throwing a fit over a big screen adaptation of "Dr. Who". Either way I can't get no sleep son.

When the hell did behind the scenes photos become so popular? Every damn day there's a new pic of Christian Bale eating a bear claw on the set of the new Batman movie or some crap. Or Milla Jovovich, dressed up like she's not 57 on the set of "Resident Evil: Retribution" with a look on her face like she's worried that filming will go long and she won't make the early bird special down at Perkins. In all fairness their pies are delicious, I can't fault her for loving them.

Valentines Day is just around the corner and maybe it's time you thought outside the box. Roses and candy have been done so many times why not give her something she'll really enjoy. Why not give her a copy of "Nude Nuns with Big Guns" which just so happens to hit DVD and Blu-ray on the most romantic day of the year. I'm not going to bother telling you what the movie is about. You can pretty much tell she's going to love it from the title.

I've been saying for years that Brooke Hogan, Hulk Hogan's daughter, has got what it takes to make it in the acting world. And thank god someone has finally listened to me and cast her in the lead role of a movie. The movie is "Sand Sharks"... and it takes place on a beach where giant prehistoric sharks are jumping out of the sand and eat people. Sounds awesome right? Wait till you see the new trailer. I had to watch it twice because the first time I started sobbing uncontrollably because it's so glorious. It's that good.

In Real People News: 

Ya know, "free delivery" on a Chinese take out menu can mean a lot of things. Sure most people take it as delivery being free but one woman in Brooklyn NY took it as every item on the menu is free for the taking. And what does someone like that do when they are denied all the free food they want? Take off all their clothes and start running around outside of course. It happens.

We all know and love Sasha Grey's work on the small screen. Well not the movies where she actually tries to act but the OTHER ones are pretty good. So why not show our appreciation of her talents by inviting her into a local elementary school to read a book to our children. Well there's hundreds of reasons why but an LA school couldn't think of any of them so they went ahead and let her read to some 1st graders.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday September 28th, 2011

Sasha Grey needs to stop trying to act and Jeremy Piven should have never started. There I said it. But here's a poster for their new film "I Melt With You", which also happens to be the title of a song that should have never been written. The film tells the story of a group of 40 something friends who reunite only to find they aren't so friendly anymore. Alright the song isn't that bad. I was just on a roll.

James D'Arcy is English and has a apostrophe in his name so he's probably really smart. He's also been added to the cast of "Cloud Atlas", a movie that tells 6 different stories set in a future/past post apocalyptic world. Seriously. I know I'm confused too. I hope Jamsey will come over with his silly accent and explain it all to me over a spot of tea.

New photos from season two of "The Walking Dead" are here! I'm still excited about the new season starting but honestly things don't look so bad for our group. They got a house, some cool guns to walk around and pose with and... a cross bow. Who the hell doesn't want a cross bow? Those damn hippies, that's who.

David Duchovny, why won't you love me. It's a song. I'm not that clever. That doesn't make it any less honest though. Anyway, David has replaced Andy Garcia in the new haunted submarine flick "Phantom" as the leader of a special Soviet operations leader. Upgrade! Not that I don't like Andy Garcia. I just don't LIKE HIM like him. We can be friends. That's cool with me.

In Real People News: 

I'm all for women getting plastic surgery but don't try to go cheap my lady friends or you'll end up like this women who now has only one giant boob after her implant operation went a muck. Yes that one boob looks great but still, it's kind of weird.

They grow up so fast. It feels like just last week little Tommy was pooping his pants and now he's drinking his first beer bong. Of course he did just poop his pants because he's only a toddler but still. It's adorable.

Horror Headlines: Friday May 13th, 2011

I don't know how I missed this new movie called "Skinny Dip" that's starring Sasha Grey and Danny Trejo but a whole gang load of people have been added to the cast. Namely Pam Grier, Michael Madsen and Brigitte Nielsen. That last one being my favorite Girl Next Door. If you say Kendra you're a fool! Anyway, the movie is a throw back to the girls kicking ass movies of the 70's and 80's and based on that I think there's a solid chance we may see some hot Grey on Trejo action. I know, I just threw up too!

Low budget vampire horror comedy? How can this not be awesome!? "Vampires in Venice" is what we're talking about here and it's got a trailer up on the tubes for your viewing pleasure. Is it funny? No of course not, but that doesn't make the movie any less promising. Wait... no scratch that. I think that's exactly what it means.

A new poster for Troma's "Father's Day" is out there for your viewing pleasure and I"m giddy with delight. The movie which focuses on a man who rapes and kills fathers and the man trying to take him down comes out on June 19th. That's father's day in case you couldn't have guessed. You're a terrible person.

And because it's Friday the 13th and you really shouldn't go the entire day without seeing something really awful here's the first full trailer for the upcoming season 4 of "True Blood" that kicks off on June 26th. See you in hell folks.

In Real People News: 

A Florida woman was arrested on Tuesday after she whipped out her boobies in front of a school bus stop where a group of kids were standing. She was originally charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition but the charge was eventually downgraded but the judge, presumably because she's kind of hot.

A 20 year old Juggalo (yes I'm excited too) from Oklahoma has been arrested after he hit a person with his car and dragged him over 100 feet. Police are still trying to figure out what caused the crime but if I was a betting man I'd say it started over an argument about who likes rainbows more. And yes, he is wearing the face paint in his mug shot. Score!

Horror Headlines: Friday February 17th, 2011

For those of you who have been awaiting to release of "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D" get excited because it's only a month and a year away! The fun little flick that follows the two witch murders 15 years after their original story left off will begin filming soon and is set for a March 2nd 2012 release. Let's go camp out for tickets!

There's no arguing that Haylie Duff is in the top 2 of people's favorite Duff sisters and now she's signed up for "Home Invasion" which I assume will be direct to DVD and hurt your eyes. The movie follows two mothers who accidentally murder a home intruder and sign up for a support group to cope with their guilt. But wait a second, is the dead robber's girlfriend in the group too? She is, the imdb page say she is so it's no real surprise.

Two words my friends, dream cast. Sasha Grey, who gets spit roasted for money (look it up, just not at work) and Hailey Glassman who use to lay with Jon Gosselin (you should be ashamed if you look it up at work) has signed on for a new film from the writers of "Cabin Fever" titled "Hallow". Some good news though, filming will take place in Canada, where this kind of crap belongs.

A new clip of the low budget, surprise surprise, Sid Haig flick titled "Blood is Blood" has hit the tubes and it's hot to trot. I don't know what that means but I couldn't think of anything else. The movie revolves around a family who faces a monster on their way to New Orleans in a town where the beast is seen as a God.

In Real People News: 

How do you win a fight with parents who are saying you're showing too much cleavage at your kid's school? You whip out the puppies in front of the whole school and scream "What do you think of these jumbos now lady?!" The screaming part I made up but I assume it went something like that.

A whole gang load of controversy has come out of an off hand comment a police officer from Toronto made to a group of students. Apparently the offer said that women can avoid being sexually assaulted by not dressing like "sluts" and apparently that doesn't go over well with the group. I assume because everyone's definition of "slut" is different. Mine is pretty loose. Get it.

"Smash Cut", More Pornstars in Horror

If there's a combo for a horror movie that will pretty much guarantee every fan is going to watch it, I would say it’s put a cult icon on screen with a porn star. That’s just putting two and two together, people. Well the producers behind “Smash Cut” are clearly aware of this formula, as they have put David Hess, star of “The Last House on the Left” and “Swamp Thing” alongside the star of “Finger Licking Good: Volume 5” and “House of Ass 3”, Sasha Grey.

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