robert patrick

Horror Headlines: Tuesday December 11th, 2012

No word on what sort of release it'll actually be getting but it looks like Rob Zombie's "Lords Of Salem" will finally see the light of day on April 26th, 2013. If that seems too far away then you might want to pick up the novelization that will hit shelves on March 12th. But honestly that's really just a little over a month earlier and if you can't wait a month you might want to see a shrink or something. You've got problems buddy.

I'm not really sure if this is exciting news but it looks like Robert Patrick will in fact return to "True Blood" next season as a full blooded cast member. For those of you still play catch up Patrick played that father of Alcide the werewolf. For those of you who are completely lost "True Blood" is a show about vampires staring the girl who I always think is the girl from "My So Called Life" but she isn't. She does have giant teeth though... TEEFF!

Summit Entertainment has picked up the rights to the big screen adaptation of Chase Novak's "Breed". Burr Steers will write and direct the film about a couple who are turned into bloodthirsty freaks after they try out a experimental fertility treatment. And I thought the worst thing about fertility treatments were having kids. Am I right? I'll be here all week.

In Real People News: 

There's nothing more adorable than a couple of cute kids, ages 7 and 11 for instance, greeting you in a church parking lot. That is of course unless those kids are holding a gun and are robbing you. Then it kid of sucks.

If you're a 19 year old kid and you break into someone's house you better damn well sure check to see if that guy is home and is currently employed as a boxer. Because no matter how much you plead with him he's going to punch you in the face and then you'll just look like a pansy in your mug shot.

Horror Headlines: Friday, June 15th, 2012

I've worked in NYC for over 12 years now and every day on my way to work I pass these guys selling tickets for double decker sightseeing bus tours of the city. They pretty much stand there and attack any couple that looks like they're on vacation. I have waited 12 years for someone to ask me to skip work, hop on a bus and take in all this fine city has to offer, but not once have I been approached. I dress like a homeless person so it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibilities that I'm just wandering around the city aimlessly, so why not ask me?

I swear to god I hate "True Blood" but for some reason I can't stop talking about casting and updates and god knows what other info they release. Like Robert Patrick joining the cast for next season as Alcide Herveaux's father. He's a wolf for those of you not in the know. I know because my wife constantly says "That guy who plays Alcide Herveaux on 'True Blood', I'd leave you for him." Seriously. Sometimes it's the last thing she says to me before I leave for work and the first thing she says when I get home. I cry at night sometimes.

If you're an avid listener of the BGH podcast (AKA not a prick) then you know we went gaga over Joe Cornish's "Attack the Block" last year. Well our loose fitting boxers are all in tizzy with the news that Joe has been confirmed to be tackling the big screen adaptation of "Snow Crash" for his next project. The book is set in the future where corporations rule the world and a strange computer virus is killing people. I hope they still listen to KRS-One in this future.

Judy Greer and Portia Doubleday have been added to the cast of the upcoming "Carrie" remake. Portia, which is a stupid name, will play play the meany Chris Hargensen while Judy will play a gym teacher in the rehash of the Stephan King classic. The stupid name comment is the best thing I can come up with for this one. It's been a long week.

For those of you who have been itching to own 1987's "Chillers" on DVD, the good people at Troma have answered your prayers. The disc will be released on September 11 and be chock full of trailers and other goods. Well all I really know about is the trailer being on there, but I assume there's got to be more. There's just got to be!

In Real People News: 

An Arizona woman is under arrest after she stabbed her husband in the back after they got into an argument over a Cosmo quiz. I've always said those things are trouble. You answer 5 questions and all of the sudden your a convicted serial murderer.

Good old Florida. Home of this woman who gathered a group of teenagers, forced them to cut themselves so their demons could escape and then had them close the cuts by burning themselves over a fire so the demons couldn't get back in. That and Disneyworld.

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