Remakes

Brace yourself. David Slade, director of "30 Days of Night", will be directing the third film in the "Twilight" franchise, subtitled "Eclipse". Uh... what? Slade has not made a statement yet, but I'm sure someone is tracking him down right now to ask him what the hell he's thinking.

Rumors are that Rooney Mara is in final negotiations to play "Nancy" in the remake of "A Nightmare on Elm St." No confirmation yet, but the source seems reliable from what I read at the link.

The director of "S. Darko" says he's in the process of remaking the 1978 film "The Eyes of Laura Mars". That may be the most obscure sentence I've ever written.

"Chaos Experiment" is about a scientist working on a theory that humanity will devolve into violence by 2012 due to global warming, and attempting to prove that by locking a bunch of half-naked people in a sauna. Not exactly the most scientific experiment, but it is a really good way for filmmakers to force their stars to be in their underwear for 90 minutes.

A body cast of Arnold Schwarzenegger, taken at the time of the first "Terminator" film, is being used to create a fully functional CGI character of Arnie for "Terminator Salvation". THAT, should be interesting.

"Wolverine" producer looking for a writer so she can make a "Constantine" sequel. Huh, I'm one of the few that enjoyed the first "Constantine", and that sentence STILL makes my head hurt.

Two new "Ju-On" sequels are set to hit Japan this year. The series, which spawned the US remake "The Grudge" and its sequel, is wildly popular in Japan and has inspired countless sequels and interations. These two new ones are titled "Ju-On: Shiroi Roujo" and "Ju-On: Kuroi Shoujo", and both are hitting theaters in Japan on June 27th. It's right around the 10th anniversary of Takashi Shimizu's original film, so I guess they figured why not celebrate with two more.

I enjoyed the trailer quite a bit, but is it me or does it look like these were both shot on video?

What does a horror fan do when he gets sick of waiting around for the big wigs over in Hollywood to get off their asses and actually make a film? Well he goes out and makes a trailer for a movie that isn’t even filming yet.

We all know that the reason why our cinemas have been jammed with remakes for the last decade is money, but that doesn't change the fact that hearing it straight from the Producer's mouths makes the vein in my forehead explode. A recent article over at Yahoo Movies cuts straight to the chance, and confirms your worst fears:

The poster for Richard Kelly's "The Box" (link fixed) features a big, terrifying picture of... Cameron Diaz's face. Yikes.

The remake of "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" is on hold while they see how "The Wolfman" remake does. The creature design is already done, and at this point they're just waiting for the go-ahead from the studio.

Radha Mitchell seems genuinely upset in this interview that although a sequel to "Silent Hill 2" is in development, the original director probably won't return. Which leads me to believe she never actually saw the original film, which was a steaming pile of the highest order.

If you're interested, there's two new "H2" videos floating around this morning. You know, in case you really wanted to hear an interview with a 19 year old girl about a sequel to a remake to a film that she had probably never seen or heard of before signing on to star in it. Who wouldn't want to do that?

Fangoria is holding a massive movie prop auction that you can actually watch and participate in online. Fancy that!

Fresh off the news of Freddy being cast in the "Nightmare on Elm St." remake, comes news that Kyle Gallner is now in talks to sign on as "Quentin the podcaster". Gallner recently gave an impressive turn in "The Haunting in Connecticut", a film where I would honestly say he outshined Virginia Madsen, an Oscar nominee. So, this casting news is good to me.

"Fanboys" director Kyle Newman to step in to direct "War Monkeys", after the original director Kevin Munroe had to bow out due to "scheduling conflicts". "War Monkeys" is about two janitors who get stuck in a government research facility over Christmas holiday who have accidentally released war-trained Rhesus monkeys. Wackiness and (presumably) carnage ensues.

Bill Zane as a crazy bald magician? Sure thing. While I'm on the subject, whatever happened to his sister? Remember "Freddy's Dead"? I wonder where she's at these days.

Apparently when Harold Raimis says that the entire original cast will return for "Ghostbusters 3", that includes Rick Moranis. That of course means they can only start shooting once his latest direct to video sequel for "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" wraps up... but I think he'll make the time.

The writer of the "IT" remake speaks, and claims the picture is being written for a "Hard R". Sounds pretty awesome to me, although I'm not sure my brain is prepared for R-Rated scary clown action.

By now you've no doubt read the news, that Jackie Earle Haley, former child star and current resurging actor, will be the new Freddy Krueger in Platinum Dunes "A Nightmare on Elm St".

Fred Durst to direct horror film from the writer of "Se7en" and "The Wolfman". Yup, THAT Fred Durst. Guess he's taking a break from shitty music for a bit to make some shitty movies. Can't sneeze at that writer's cred though I guess. Then again... FRED DURST.

Bigfoot contracts rabies in "The Bloody Rage of Bigfoot". Isn't it amazing how sometimes the best ideas are the simplest?

Prepare for your mind to be blown. Universal has nabbed the rights to the comic book "The Strange Adventures of HP Lovecraft", and Ron Howard's producing. With Lovecraft's popularity surging in recent years thanks to the internet, I figured it was only a matter of time until he found his way into a mainstream movie, but Ron Howard? No director has been announced yet, but the speculation is that Howard will take it himself. Whoa.

Cameras roll next week on a remake of 1975's "The Land That Time Forgot", directed by C. Thomas Howell. I know it seems like I'm just pulling these names out of my ass today, but I swear I'm telling the truth!