kids are assholes

Redband Trailer For The "It's Alive" Remake

I wasn't even born yet when the original "It's Alive" came out but when I finally saw it the film taught me one thing, never ever EVER have a baby. They will kill you. They won't even wait until they grow up to do it. Nope, a newborn child will come out of the womb and go straight into slasher mode. Fear the children, people.

Horror Headlines: Monday August 31st, 2009

I guess Bob Weinstein was paying attention to this week's box office results, because he's announced that there is already a 3D "Halloween" sequel in the works, and one that will be shot without Rob Zombie. They're already in talks with a director, whom Weinstein declined to name, although whoever it is will have a hell of a time making a sequel considering he has to deal with all of the baggage brought by Zombie to the series story-wise.

The 2010 "Girls of Scotchworthy" calender is now available. Love indie horror and the babes that work in it? Do yourself a favor and purchase a calender from these guys.

Nic Cage has signed on to "Drive Angry", a revenge/action movie from "My Bloody Valentine 3D" director Patrick Lussier. That's right baby, Nicholas Cage in glorious 3D. Better start preparing your mindholes for that now.

In Real People News: 

Naked dude hi-jacks school bus, but that visual isn't as intriguing as the one of the children who decided to jump out of a moving bus to get away. I smell a "Speed" sequel.

Now teens are using social networking sites to arrainge fights. Finally, a much more efficient way to organize a beatdown.

Not gonna lie, that does look pretty dirty. Don't spend too much time trying to work out the details of what exactly is happening though, that can't be good for you.

On this day in history: 

1888: Jack the Ripper kills his first known victim, prostitute Mary Ann Nichols, slitting her throat from ear to ear.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday August 25th, 2009

This morning brings the news that 2010 will see an "Exorcist" Blu-ray, with both existing cuts of the film.

Check out this "age restricted" clip from "Sorority Row". It's not restricted for the reason(s) I would have liked, but it's a slow news day so we'll take what we can get.

Hey guess what, there's literally a white horse in "Halloween 2". And why shouldn't there be. Ya, no, this is going to be great.

"Train", the film that was originally a remake of "Terror Train" but then turned out not to be, will be going direct to DVD on November 17th. The film stars Thora Birch, so at least it's got that going for it.

In Real People News: 

When the department bought their officers shiny new stunguns, I'm sure they weren't picturing they'd start out with them by lighting a hobo on fire. But hey, at least it's a good story.

The lesson is clear here, if you "snitch" on someone, this bizarrely calm woman will dismember you and make you watch. So, that's pretty good motivation not to be a snitch.

You can sort of chalk the first time this kid set his friend on fire up to a youthful mistake, but it's a little harder to say that about the second time.

On this day in history: 

1835: The New York Sun publishes stunning revelations that Sir John Hershel has observed little men living on the surface of the moon. The stories, now generally believed to be false, brings the paper record circulation.

Eden Lake (REVIEW)

Just from some of the films I've seen lately, it seems that "hoodies", or groups of young adolescents from the suburbs, are a major problem in Britain. In many recent British films, such as “Hot Fuzz” and now “Eden Lake”, these adolescents are portrayed as a technologically savvy bunch with baggy clothing and thick slang-filled accents.

Vinyan (REVIEW)

It's a cinematic fact that any film that takes place in the jungle has a hard time not evoking Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness", and "Vinyan" is no different. Paul is an international volunteer who, with his wife Jeanne, has taken up residence on the beach in Thailand after the loss of their son in a recent tsunami. The opening scene shows Paul carry a brand new pair of children's shoes he found in the closet out to Jeanne, who explains that they were on sale. This scene describes the relationship that transpires between Paul and Jeanne throughout the film.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 7th, 2009

The poster for Richard Kelly's "The Box" (link fixed) features a big, terrifying picture of... Cameron Diaz's face. Yikes.

The remake of "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" is on hold while they see how "The Wolfman" remake does. The creature design is already done, and at this point they're just waiting for the go-ahead from the studio.

Radha Mitchell seems genuinely upset in this interview that although a sequel to "Silent Hill 2" is in development, the original director probably won't return. Which leads me to believe she never actually saw the original film, which was a steaming pile of the highest order.

If you're interested, there's two new "H2" videos floating around this morning. You know, in case you really wanted to hear an interview with a 19 year old girl about a sequel to a remake to a film that she had probably never seen or heard of before signing on to star in it. Who wouldn't want to do that?

Fangoria is holding a massive movie prop auction that you can actually watch and participate in online. Fancy that!

In Real People News: 

That truck driver who just cut you off on the highway? You might not want to fuck with him, because the FBI thinks there's a good chance he might be a serial killer. Not sure why it took them this long to come to that conclusion, but at least it's confirmed my irrational fear of truck drivers.

Remember when you saw that gang of roving kids in "Hostel" films and thought, "bullshit"? Ya, maybe Eli Roth is smarter than we thought.

Boy found dead in industrial sized oven, burnt to a crisp. Police could not confirm or deny reports that they were looking for a 6-inch tall Gingerbread man who sounds like Gary Busey.

There aren't adequate words to describe the sheer stupidity of the "Twilight" religion, so I'm not even going to try.

On this day in history: 

1970: The X-rated movie Midnight Cowboy wins the Oscar for Best Picture.

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