odd thomas

Horror Headlines: Thursday May 19th, 2011

50 Cent, better known as Curtis Jackson by his new acting buddies has been added to the cast of "Odd Thomas", which is scheduled to begin filming shortly. 50 will play a blind DJ who helps the lead charter, a short order cook with the power to speak to the dead. And yes I am on a first name basis with Mr. Cent, he lets me call him 50 when we hang out.

The first trailer for "Good Neighbors" has hit the tubes and much to my surprise the neighbors in the movie aren't good at all. In fact the one played by Jay Baruchel might be a murderer! Google him, you'll be even more confused. The other neighbor is in a wheelchair, I can't imagine he's the killer. And if he is I'm going to take these filmmakers for all they're worth because I came up with the idea first. You read it here! Avenge me!

A new clip from J.J. Abrams; "Super 8" has been released and word around campus is even more will be hitting the net in the near future. In fact by the time you read this there will probably be 75 more clips of the alien invasion flick out there somewhere. Let's ditch class and go find them!

Maggie Gyllenhaal and her adorable little turtle face have been cast in the lead role of the new supernatural flick "Voice From the Stone". In the movie Maggie (yeah her too) will play a nurse who begins taking care of a boy who's haunted by evil spirits. The movie is based on "Le Voce Della Pietra" by Silvio Raffo and let me tell you, if I was going to recommend one Italian horror novel, this would be it!

In Real People News: 

Well today I learned a little trick of the trade from the fine law enforcement officers in Middletown Township Pennsylvania. Apparently if you suspect an ice cream truck driver of being drunk you don't have to waste your time with a breathalyzer, no you just have to look for the frozen bottle of urine in his truck. Guess what!? They found it in this guys truck.

Who hasn't wanted to eat a friend's liver? No one I know! But here's a guy in Russia who happened to be snacking on his buddies beer filter when the police burst into his house to arrest him for cannibalism. Not much of an argument there.

Horror Headlines: Friday April 15th, 2011

I fancy myself a sarcastic prick but honestly there's nothing but magic in this little tidbit. Sony Pictures Animation has picked up the rights to the book "How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack" and one Mr. Robert Zemeckis has signed on to producer the big screen adaptation. What better news? Reportedly the gnome slasher is going to be rated R. Mother of god are they handing out puppies at Port Authority today too?!

Comedian Patton Oswalt has signed on to the ever growing cast of "Odd Thomas" that already includes Anton Yelchin, Willem Dafoe and Addison Timlin. This also makes him the second name I recognize, the third I've seen nude and the first I'd like to sit down for a lovely lunch as Cici's with. That Timlin looks like she'd hog all the mac n cheese pizza, and that's Joe's favorite!

Paul Soter from the Broken Lizard comedy troupe that brought you "Beerfest" and "Super Troopers" is taking on the writing role for the upcoming film "Dr. Deth with Kip and Muffy". The movie, which apparently is based on some sort of comic book, tells the story of the good doctor and his two female partners who are the only hope against the cannibalistic mutants that run ramped in a post apocalyptic New Jersey. Insert your stupid Jersey Shore, Jersey smells or Jersey sucks jokes here. Then come to my house in New Jersey so I can punch you in the face and scatter your teeth upon this kick ass New Jersey soil.

Apparently "Hatchet 3" was announced a while back but I'm honestly not sure if I missed the news or just blacked out and erased the memory. But as details are released there's no denying it anymore. According to franchise creator Adam Green he's not sure he'll be writing or directing the third installment. He does intend for Danielle Harris' character to return, but is unsure if she'll sign on to the role. This isn't really news is it. He honestly could of said he intends the film to feature images that will somehow cure Polio but he can't confirm that either. I can't wait for this to drag on for at least a year.

In Real People News: 

A 20 year old Oklahoma City women is being brought up on charges after she disemboweled a cat, mutilated the eyes and put the liver in a makeup box. Why would she do this? Because she was making an outfit for a Lady Gaga concert of course! I hate Lady Gaga and cats so this one is kind of a win win.

A extra credit class at La Salle University in Philadelphia was cut short by the dean after he caught wind of strippers being used to explain business ethics. I have no idea how that could possibly work but I do not it is wrong to try to shove loose change into a g-string. So I assume the lesson had something to do with that.

Horror Headlines: Monday April 11th, 2011

The first trailer for Lars Von Trier's new end of the world flick "Melancholia" has hit the tubes and much to my surprise it looks fairly un-hammer-to-the-penis-like. Yes that women who took a hammer to William Defeo's penis in "Antrichrist" is in this movie, so you keep thinking about it, but there's nothing to lead me to believe that's going to happen again. God I hope that doesn't happen again.

Speaking of Willem Dafoe and his lumbering manbits, they'll both be in the upcoming big screen adaptation of Dean Kootz's "Odd Thomas". The story focuses on a cook who's able to speak to the dead. Defoe plays a police chief who knows the young lad's secret. I have no clue if Defoe's member will be playing a different role.

It looks as if Rob Hall's "Fear Clinic" mini-series will be making it's way to the big screen, and Danielle Harris and Robert Englund are both on board for the magic. For those of you who aren't familiar with the series or Rob Hall's spiky hair, it follows a group of patients who come to a clinic in order to cure the phobias that run their lives. Much like the god awful fear I have of Willem Dafoe's privates. Let's keep this going!

Jessica Biel his apparently been offered a role in the upcoming "Total Recall" remake. No confirmation on which role she's been offered but chances are it's one of the two leads. She doesn't seem like the kind of girl who would be into playing that big women who has an exploding head or the three boobed hooker. Then again what do I know, I'm still focused on Willem Dafoe's flim flam. Happy Monday folks!

In Real People News: 

I have no idea if there's a bestiality handbook out there, but I don't think you need one to know you don't do it in your backyard. But it looks like this 17 year old in New Zealander doesn't know that because he's been convicted of the animal nasty after his neighbor saw him making love to his cat. Yeah I said it, making love.

After 64 years on this planet you've got to be struggling for ideas on how to celebrate your birthday. But this Florida man came up with something new, he flashed a school bus full of kids! I would of gone with a trip to Denny's, I'm pretty sure you eat for free. But flashing a bunch of kids would be a close second.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 5th, 2011

India Eisley, who I am not at all comfortable looking up on Google, has been added to the cast of "Underworld 4: New Dawn". The little rugrat will play the daughter of everyone's favorite vampire Selene. Or at least that's what I think, honestly when I was looking this up my wife asked me why the hell I'm looking at pictures of some 17 year old and I closed everything out real quick like.

M. Night Shyamalan, Will Smith and his son Jaden. Did you just throw up from excitement? Wait a second, did you also mess your pants? The three names are that exciting aren't they! Well get ready because Sony has signed the Smith's to be in an upcoming Sci-Fi flick to be directed by M. Night Shyamalan. I bet blood just shot out of your nipples too. It's that exciting!

"I have two guns, one for each of ya". Look it up and this will all make sense. Warner Bros. has given the thumbs up to "Wild Guns", a new supernatural waster with Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday fighting a mysterious Shaman. "Tombstone", the quote is from "Tombstone". How old are you people?!

Word around campus is Tim Robbin might be joining the already delightful cast of the upcoming big screen adaptation of "Odd Thomas". The story follows Odd Thomas himself and his unique ability to speak to the dead and help solve the mysteries of their murders. Kind of like "Sixth Sense" only I don't think he turns out to be dead at the end. Or does he?! He doesn't, I'm pretty sure he doesn't.

In Real People News: 

Ever see that show "What Would You Do?". Well it turns out what most people will do if you're screaming "I will kill you" at your three month old child in the middle of a Target is call the cops. And you will go to jail. Mystery solved!

And here's a 37 year old father from Minnesota who forced his two children to play a game he called "Baby Animals". What's that you might ask? Well you'll be sorry you did, because the game is pretty much the father taking off his shirt and then forcing his kids two suck on his nipples. I have no idea how you win.

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