jaws

Horror Headlines: Friday, December 23rd, 2011

The chances that there's a "Gremlins 3" in the works are slim to none but it looks like the good people at Universal have registered the domain www.gremlins3.com. That could just mean that they don't want some hot shot fan boy getting the domain and putting up some nude photos of Gizmo riding a horse bareback. But who knows. Does anyone know if scarface2.com and thegodfather4.com are available?

I'm going to address this next news item to the one person I know who is actually excited about "Underworld: Awakening". Hey, Eric! There's a new trailer for "Underworld: Awakening". It looks like some sort of crappy hand held rip from "[REC]" or whatever that US version of "[REC]" was called. Man I don't know why you're so excited about this. I get it, Kate Beckinsale is in a pleather unitard, or whatever, but come on man. Is it weird that I'm addressing you directly and you're the same Eric from the podcast and the same person who proofs this news? Creepy huh? What are you wearing?

If you're still trying to squeeze your fat ass into your "Angel" size medium t-shirt then I have some bad news for you. The much discussed and long delayed "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reboot has officially lost its writer, Whit Anderson. It also looks like the creators are going back to the drawing board throwing out some standard "it has to be done" type comments that pretty much mean "we really don't want to do it so we're going to make up some excuses about it not feeling right and then go back to napping on the giant pile of cash we already have.". That's just my guess though.

You'll get no sarcasm from me here folks because I just wet myself after reading the news that a "Jaws" Blu-Ray release is finally coming. Granted it's not hitting till the summer of 2012 and yes that's confusing because it's probably just going to include the same features I've watched a thousand times but still. It's going to be so crystal clear you'll feel like you're in the water with the shark. Not that you'd want to be... it kills people, remember.

In Real People News: 

The holidays are a stressful time of the year for anyone. So it's understandable that this NY teacher snapped, started wrestling one of his students and eventually bit a female student who tried to intervene. Understandable, but 100% illegal.

And because this weekend is Christmas and I'm not a complete monster, here's a video of an adorable chimp getting a blanket ride from it's mother.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 8th, 2010

Corey Feldman seems to have hated "Lost Boys 2: The Tribe" as much as the rest of us. In a recent interview, the actor discusses why he thinks "Lost Boys 3: The Thirst" will actually be good. While my expectations still run rock bottom, his promises of seeing the Frog Brothers actually together at least sound fun.

"Rubber", a film about a pissed off psychic tire named Robert has been picked up by Magnet for distribution . If you've been dying to see a movie about a killer tire, you'll be set when the movie soon arrives on VOD channels across the country.

NPR correspondent Cory Turner recently took on a personal quest to track down the remains of the mechanical sharks used in the classic "Jaws". The three mechanical monsters were long believed to have been destroyed after shooting had ended for the film but much to Mr. Turner's surprise, will get you arrested.

Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd broke out of the stodgy interview norm as he refers to the Chinese as 'rodent buggerers', only not so eloquently.

On this day in history: 

632 - The prophet Mohammed, founder of Islam, dies in Mecca.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 14th, 2010

Everybody's been talking about the upcoming "Scream IV". With the original creative team involved, it has the potential to be good. Things could be taking a turn for the odd however as sources say they are now in talks to bring Jamie Kennedy back for the reunion. As for how, nobody is certain yet. Could he be a zombie? An evil twin? At this point in the game, he could easily play his original character Randy's chubbier dad!

While still firmly in the 'non-news' category, original "Jaws" producer Richard Zanuck still has a few words to say that might make your stomachs turn. In a recent L.A. Times article, Zanuck talks about how he and Spielberg met a few years back about bringing the original film back to theaters with updates effects and tacked on 3D graphics. Sadly, Zanuck still thinks this would be a great idea.

Kevin Smith is finally getting around to working on his long talked about "Red State" horror feature. Recently, he sat down with the folks at Film School Rejects to discuss a few details about the film. Likening the plot and feel of the movie to that of "Race With the Devil", a 1975 film about cultists chasing hapless tourists, he promises you can replace the devil worshipers with christian fundamentalists!

In Real People News: 

A West Virginia man is facing animal cruelty charges as police discover he was playing amateur cryogenics lab in his pet shop. Upon investigation, police found six kittens, one dog, five mice, one reptile and 10 rats frozen alive in his back room.

Despite his latest turn as a real life police officer for reality television, Stephen Seagal his headed to court. He has been accused of using his personal assistant as his personal sex toy. In addition to her, she claims that he also had two Russian attendants on staff for when he was feeling a bit randy.

On this day in history: 

1865 - President Abraham Lincoln receives a cranial gunshot wound from the nation's most famous actor, John Wilkes Booth. Lincoln dies the following day, primarily from ill-advised attempts to extract the bullet lodged in his brain.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 9th, 2010

Director Stephen Soderberg has fast tracked his next project, the outbreak action-thriller "Contagion". Joining him will be Matt Damon, Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Marion Cotillard. So far, the origin of the outbreak is unknown but investigation shows it is narrowed down to either a viral situation or runaway actor egos.

Normally I don't like to fuel crazy rumors, but this one is too good to pass up. The story that Universal is a planning a possible "Jaws" remake has been around for awhile. Think a reboot is bad enough? How about a reboot starring Tracy Morgan in the place of Matt Hooper?

In other star packed ego news, Rachel Weisz will star along side Daniel Craig and Naomi Watts in the haunted house thriller "Dream House". Reportedly, Weisz will be filling the lead role originally given to Watts.

"Paranormal Activity" continues to make waves as it scares the vino out of Italy. The country's emergency response service has been flooded with calls from teenagers and youth suffering from panic attacks after viewing the commercials. So far, the government has yet to ban the film.

Draco Malfoy has joined the cast of "The Apparition", a story about a couple haunted after a college experiment. So far, it would appear that Tom Feldon is going to be cast as the film's 'star power'.

In Real People News: 

A man was found to have attempted a free trip to Tokyo by stowing away in a planes landing gear. Unfortunately for him, he didn't think his plan through. His body was found frozen in the plane's landing gear bay, dressed only in blue jeans and a long sleeve shirt.

After a recent tally, cows now officially outnumber people in New Zealand. We're safe for the moment... at least until they team up with the sheep.

On this day in history: 

1989 - Officials for the World Wrestling Federation testify before the New Jersey Senate that their matches are actually rigged.

"Jaws 19" Comes To Blu-Ray

Chances are you probably own at least one if not all of the "Back to the Future" films. If you don't then now if the time to buy, and if you do, well you're going to have to shell out money for another version. Not because the films are being restored for Blu-ray, not because all three are being packaged together on a 5 disc set, and not because you still have a crush on Michael J. Fox. No you're going to want to pick this up because for the first time ever you'll get to see "Jaws 19". Need more incentive? It's going to be presented in 3D!

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