Horror Headlines: Friday, December 23rd, 2011

The chances that there's a "Gremlins 3" in the works are slim to none but it looks like the good people at Universal have registered the domain www.gremlins3.com. That could just mean that they don't want some hot shot fan boy getting the domain and putting up some nude photos of Gizmo riding a horse bareback. But who knows. Does anyone know if scarface2.com and thegodfather4.com are available?

I'm going to address this next news item to the one person I know who is actually excited about "Underworld: Awakening". Hey, Eric! There's a new trailer for "Underworld: Awakening". It looks like some sort of crappy hand held rip from "[REC]" or whatever that US version of "[REC]" was called. Man I don't know why you're so excited about this. I get it, Kate Beckinsale is in a pleather unitard, or whatever, but come on man. Is it weird that I'm addressing you directly and you're the same Eric from the podcast and the same person who proofs this news? Creepy huh? What are you wearing?

If you're still trying to squeeze your fat ass into your "Angel" size medium t-shirt then I have some bad news for you. The much discussed and long delayed "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reboot has officially lost its writer, Whit Anderson. It also looks like the creators are going back to the drawing board throwing out some standard "it has to be done" type comments that pretty much mean "we really don't want to do it so we're going to make up some excuses about it not feeling right and then go back to napping on the giant pile of cash we already have.". That's just my guess though.

You'll get no sarcasm from me here folks because I just wet myself after reading the news that a "Jaws" Blu-Ray release is finally coming. Granted it's not hitting till the summer of 2012 and yes that's confusing because it's probably just going to include the same features I've watched a thousand times but still. It's going to be so crystal clear you'll feel like you're in the water with the shark. Not that you'd want to be... it kills people, remember.

In Real People News: 

The holidays are a stressful time of the year for anyone. So it's understandable that this NY teacher snapped, started wrestling one of his students and eventually bit a female student who tried to intervene. Understandable, but 100% illegal.

And because this weekend is Christmas and I'm not a complete monster, here's a video of an adorable chimp getting a blanket ride from it's mother.

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