Horror Headlines: Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

Wednesday is hump day my friends. Look around your office and do what you have to do.

Good news kids! A 5 minute clip of the upcoming little screen adaptation of Stephen king's "Bag Of Bones" has made it's way online. The miniseries focuses on a grief stricken husband who returns to the lakeside house him and his wife owned while dealing with a bitter custody battle. I want to be 100% honest. The download instructions for this clip confused the hell out of me so I didn't watch it. I want this relationship to be built on honesty.

The majority of the "Evil Dead" news flying around these days is mostly just interviews with people attached to the flick saying it's going to be awesome and fans will be happy. But today, today my friends, on this glorious of all hump days, we have news that director Fede Alvarez is planning on taking the show to New Zealand to begin filming in March. And if a bunch of sheep herders with strange accents doesn't ring true to the original "Evil Dead" I don't know what does.

If you love David Cronenberg then you're going to have somewhat pleasant feelings towards his son Brandon Cronenberg and his new project "Antiviral". Proof is in the first still we're getting today from the film that follows an employee at a clinic that sells injections of live viruses harvested from sick celebrities to obsessed fans. Don't let the fact bother you that the guy in the photo has a pony tail and by definition anyone with a pony tail is a prick. Please, let's try to be adults about this.

Honestly the only reason we're going to discuss these set picks from Neil Jordan's "Byzantium" if because I find them so confusing. They're of Gemma Arterton, who plays a vampire in the flick, prancing around the coast of Ireland in a red dress with all her goods hanging out. Sounds awesome I know but then you get to the final shot of some strange PA who appears to be examining Arterton's lady bits. I have so many feeling going on inside me right now I'm not sure what to do. I'm laughing and crying at the same time. I think it's best we call it a day.

In Real People News: 

Here's a story about a fashion model in Texas who has been seriously injured after she walked into a plane propeller. Are you laughing right now? Congratulations! You're officially a monster.

Do not mess with the fire department in Tennessee. Or at least don't forget to pay the 75$ annual fee you owe to them. Because they will come to your house while it's burning and watch that giant trailer you call a home go up in flames. At least they didn't roast marshmallows. That would just be in poor taste.

Around the Web

What's New?

Wherein no one talks about people they banged in high school...

Podcast

In which we try to make sense of "Return to Nukem High: Volume 1"...

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web