Horror Headlines: Friday, January 13th, 2012

Hey it's Friday the 13th! I completely forgot that when I got dressed this morning and just randomly put on my Jason mask t-shirt. Now I feel like that guy who wears the shirt of the band he's going to see to their concert. Only more white trash. Unless that band is White Trash, who had the second most popular song about pie in the 90's.

I wish I could stop talking about Daniel Radcliffe. I'd give anything really. But here's a new clip from "The Woman In Black", which stars the little bugger as a lawyer sent to a remote village to sort out the paperwork of a recently deceased client. In the clip he's all napping and looking so god damn cute I could just squeeze him. Oh here I go again! What did the doctor tell me? Oh yeah. I should want to invite Daniel Radcliffe over for dinner. I shouldn't want to cut into him, and wear his skin as a Key to other worlds and dimensions.

Ah crap. NBC has put in a order for a new series based on everyone's favorite blood sucker, Dracula. The show, which is cleverly titled "Dracula" is being described as "Dangerous Liaisons meets The Tudors" or in "Joe Terms" a movie I never saw crossed with a TV show that made me feel like I had just eaten a box of Fig Newtons and washed it down with a Fresca. Think about that for a few minutes.

Speaking of things that make me feel like less of a man here's a new look at Elizabeth Banks as Effie Trinket from the upcoming big screen adaptation of "The Hunger Games". I don't know why it makes me feel like less of a man but when I look at the picture I feel like I should say things like "No white pants after Labor Day" and "Oh I can't wait for Fashion Week".

In Real People News: 

I love the movie "Fargo" but apparently not as much as this guy in California who got himself pulled into a wood chipper. Of course he died, which is awful. I only hope someday if I died in a strange way some prick on the internet will post the new article about it with some stupid sarcastic movie reference. It's kind of a dream of mine.

And here's a story about a woman who is under arrest after she bit two children at a California book store. Serves them right for going into a book store. That kind of crap doesn't happen at video game stores where kids should be.

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