Sarah Paulson

Horror Headlines: Monday January 20th, 2013

I just spent three days in Wisconsin and between the beer, sausage and cheese I'm not sure how my heart is still functioning. I took a shower Sunday night and I swear my pores started to leak cheese sauce. It tasted delicious though so I'm not so upset.

I lost interest in the second season of "American Horror Story" pretty quickly but I'm still mildly interested in seeing season 3 because I liked the first a super lot. Of course the news that Ryan Murphy has dropped that the upcoming season will be a modern day romance story does not have me giddy at all. Then again Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters have already been confirmed to be returning so maybe there will be a 3 way love triangle there so that could be frightening. You're picturing it right now aren't you. It's a terrible image.

"Sons Of Anarchy" star Charlie Hunnam has landed his greasy little locks a role in Guillermo del Toro's new flick "Crimson Peak". Details of his role are still unknown but the film is said to be a modern take on the classic ghost story. What that actually means is beyond me but what if the ghosts were actually alive and like working at our local car dealerships or something? Did I just blow your mind? I think I did.

I may or may not have completely forgotten that NBC had a "Dracula" TV series in the works but if I'm being honest here it just dawned on me that I may have a 6 year old child somewhere in the greater Philadelphia area so I've got a lot worse things to worry about. Moving on! Jonathan Jessica De Gouw has been cast in the role of Mina Murray, a young medical student who also happens to be the reincarnation of the fanged one's true love. Now that I think about it maybe I should have kept that whole kid thing to myself.

At this point the only way the "Zombieland" sequel discussion could get more ridiculous is if a script gets written so Bill Murray can shred it. But now there's talks that a TV series based on the show, which had been discussed back in 2011, may actually be a go and a call for casting has gone out. Nothing has been confirmed of course and the project will die 4 or 5 more times before the year ends but at the very least it will give me something to write about and at the end of the day isn't that all we really want? I thought so.

In Real People News: 

Two strippers in Wisconsin are in hot water after they got into a full on fist fight over a dollar bill. A single dollar. Not going to lie, this sounds like the greatest strip club ever to me.

A Florida man is under arrest after he bit his girlfriend's thumb off during an argument the couple was having. The only way I can see this not ending with him in prison is if the argument was about whether or not he could bite a human thumb off.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, September 15th, 2011

I don't care what anyone says, I'm excited about
"The Darkest Hour". Mostly because I'm a travel buff and the story focuses on a group of teens trapped in Moscow during a strange alien attack. And today we've got a cool new motion poster for the flick. I have no clue where these things show up but I want to see it in person. I also want to visit Dorney Park for their Halloween Nights. That's the ad I got before the video of the poster. It looks more fun than the movie to be honest.

Looks like the good people at Sony Pictures plan on releasing the original "Ghostbusters" back into theaters sometime in late October, most likely around Halloween. With the third installment of the franchise taking its sweet ass time to get going this is probably the only slimer action you're going to get for a long time. Unless that start running those old cartoons they made from the films. That's probably not going to happen though.

From the trailers and stills I've seen I'm still completely lost on what the new FX series "American Horror Story" is about but according to their site it focuses on a family that moves into a creepy house after the father does some diddling on the side. Well now we've learned that Sarah Paulson, who you probably know from "What Women Want" has joined the cast for 4 episodes. She'll be playing a medium that plays a big role in some sort of story arc. You're welcome for all this useful information.

I can't believe this hasn't been made before but here's the first image for "Wet Dream on Elm Street". If you couldn't guess the film is a porn parody of "A Nightmare On Elm Street" and today we've got our first look at Freddy Fingers, who instead of knives has dildos on his glove. There's something I never thought I'd write. It's a good day.

In Real People News: 

Let this be a lesson to you kids, death can strike at any time and at any place. Don't believe me? Here's a story about a woman who was killed in a McDonald's bathroom when a faulty hose leading to the soda machine started pumping carbon dioxide into the room. You're not even safe in the bathroom!

You ever see those pricks walking around the grocery story eating grapes from the fruit stand? I thought that was pretty bad but here's a story about a guy in Pennsylvania who is facing felony changes after he was eating raw beef in Walmart and putting the opened packages back on the shelf. You read right, raw beef... in Walmart. They should give him a medal for still being alive.

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