Just because I've defected to the Midwest doesn't mean I'm any less heartbroken to see my beloved New Jersey and New York in it's current state. If you can please hop over to The American Red Cross and give what you can. If you do I promise not to ever post anything serious here again.
The good folks behind the new "Hitchcock" flick, about the relationship between the legendary director and his wife during the making of "Psycho", have launched a new site where you can insert yourself into the film's poster. The film doesn't hit theaters for another few weeks so hurry up and you might be able to convince your dumb cousin that you're actually in the movie.
"Castle Wolfenstein", the classic video game that spawned numerous sequels and was a leading cause in me not seeing sunlight as a child, is finally making it's way to the big screen. Roger Avary is already locked in to write and direct the film about a US army captain and a British special agent who battle the SS paranormal division in a plot to take down Hitler. Sounds like every kid's dream.
A new documentary about the making of 1989's classic horror film "Pet Sematary" is in the works. Currently titled "Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary" the doc will feature cast and crew interviews, visits to filming locations and a look at the film's reception. I swear to god I still have nightmares about Zelda. Did you even notice she kind of looks like Bethenny Frankel? I'm sorry that's awful.
If I were to give you 100 guesses as to the plot of the new film titled "Cold Patrol" I don't think you would come anywhere close. That's because it's about a team of military dog sledders who end up battling zombie polar bears. You read that right. Oh sure now you're saying you would have guessed that somewhere around 47 or so but that's bull crap. You've always been a filthy liar. Look for this one on DVD sometime in Spring of 2013.
In Real People News:
Here's a video of what looks like a UFO flying into a volcano. Good news! We don't need to worry about the alien invasion because they're all idiots.
That classic Johnny Cash line "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die" isn't nearly as bad as when Cash is replaced with a 12 year old boy and the "man" is replaced with a dog. Oh and the kid didn't shoot his dog he hung it. Nothing bad ass about that at all.
Oh hey everybody, the site's back! Sorry for the short absence, I promise it will never happen again. If it does, blame Mark (always blame Mark). By next week your news-writer Joe should be settled in his new place of residence, and will hopefully be returning to his duties here on the site. While we get back up to speed, make sure you're caught up on all the new podcasts we've been putting out lately.
Lots of headlines today screaming "Watch Audience Reaction for Paranormal Activity 4!". Put that through an honesty filter and it comes out as "Paramount wants you to believe this is still an 'indie' series and we're going along with them". So, all is normal in the genre press.
Daniel Knauf, the guy behind the HBO series "Carnivale", has hopped on board NBC's upcoming "Dracula" miniseries as writer and show-runner. I have not seen any episodes of "Carnivale" and will not watch a Dracula miniseries on NBC. So, not sure what we're doing here.
Hey it's Friday the 13th! There's a horror movie named after that so we should all be excited. Let's promise ourselves that we'll annoy everyone we work with by spouting off ridiculous info about the film series and how much we hated the remake. People love that crap.
Get excited folks! Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller have dropped the bomb that production on "Sin City: A Dame To Kill For" will begin this summer. No specific details on the plot or when the film will see the light of day but aren't you just excited that it's happening? You couldn't stand up right now even if you wanted to could you? God you're sick.
Speaking of The Rock... Dwayne "My Man Crush" Johnson has been tapped to take on the lead role of the upcoming big screen adaptation of "Lore". Based on the comic book of the same name the story will tell the tale of a man who reluctantly becomes a member of a secret order of dream boats who battle mythical beasts. The "dream boat" part I added. Don't judge.
Word around the tubes is that none other than Mr. David Cronenberg is high atop a short list of directors to take on "Catching Fire", the much anticipated sequel to "The Hunger Games". Gary Ross who directed the first installment recently parted ways with Lionsgate due to the short filming schedule so now they're on the prowl. I mean if I was looking for a guy Cronenberg wouldn't be my first choice but I don't like to judge. The Rock isn't free though? Just wondering.
This isn't very exciting news but I wanted to share it with you because it makes me happy. "Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of 'Psycho'", the movie about the making of "Psycho", seriously it is, has had its title cut down to just "Hitchcock" and begun production. Don't you feel better about the world now?