paranormal activity 4

Episode 226 - "Paranormal Activity 4"

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Paranormal Activity 4 (REVIEW)

It's hard to believe there have been four "Paranormal Activity" films. Even in the year 2012, where sequels and spinoffs are commonplace, it's still unlikely that the series has made it this far. What's even more unlikely? The fact that, at least up until now, the series has maintained and even raised the bar for quality with each entry. Unfortunately, with "Paranormal Activity 4" you can throw that trend out the window.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday October 10th, 2012

And I'm back! Well, sort of. I mean I never really went away. I've been here the whole time. I'm just in a different state now and I've run out of excuses as to why I can't do the news. I mean I still have the same one I use all the time, "I'm a fat lazy prick" but that one doesn't really fly as well as "hey we're moving across the country and I have no internet". So the point I'm making here is I'm back at the news desk. I might not be wearing pants though... I'm 100% not wearing pants.

For those of you who have been waiting around for "The Healer", staring the creepy girl from "Orphan" Isabelle Fuhrman, I'm sorry to say it isn't going to happen. It isn't going to happen because the film, about a girl and her father who go camping to try to reconnect and find themselves in haunted territory, has been renamed "The Between". I'm sorry I toyed with your emotions back there. You look adorable when you're frightened though.

Why the hell anyone would want to see "Paranormal Activity 4" in Imax is beyond me but that isn't stopping the folks behind the film from announcing that the next chapter in the spooky camera series will find it's way to roughly 300 large screen on October 18th. They announced it because it's happening. I thought that was sort of implied though. Stupid.

Hey... HEY. Have you ever seen a found footage film... about weed? Well you're not going to see it here but we are going to the African outback with "Safari". If you couldn't have guessed the film is about a group of explorers who find themselves trapped in the desert with all the animals, heat and everything else that would make you wonder why anyone would ever want to go on a safari. You know they have a Safari ride down in Disney World right? There's literally 0 reasons you ever have to go to Africa.

I love the movie "Trollhunter" and I want Andre Ovredal, the director of said film, to sit on my face. Alright maybe that's a bit too far but god damn I love that movie so I'm super excited about the director's next project which is titled "Enormous". Based on the comic of the same name the movie will tell the tale of a world where monsters rule us all. I mean not all of us I guess, no monster is going to rule Brad Pitt. That guy is way too dreamy to be ruled.

In Real People News: 

I'm not sure there's ever a reason to microwave a cat but this kid in the UK is convinced his was talking to him and that he had no other choice. Insert your own jokes here, I'd suggest something to do with the awful smell.

Police in New Mexico had to deal with a nut job the old fashioned way after they found him having a heated argument with a stop sign and not being the least bit effected when they tasered his ass. The old fashioned way I speak of it beating the crap out of him. This is America god damn it.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday October 9th, 2012

Oh hey everybody, the site's back! Sorry for the short absence, I promise it will never happen again. If it does, blame Mark (always blame Mark). By next week your news-writer Joe should be settled in his new place of residence, and will hopefully be returning to his duties here on the site. While we get back up to speed, make sure you're caught up on all the new podcasts we've been putting out lately.

Lots of headlines today screaming "Watch Audience Reaction for Paranormal Activity 4!". Put that through an honesty filter and it comes out as "Paramount wants you to believe this is still an 'indie' series and we're going along with them". So, all is normal in the genre press.

Daniel Knauf, the guy behind the HBO series "Carnivale", has hopped on board NBC's upcoming "Dracula" miniseries as writer and show-runner. I have not seen any episodes of "Carnivale" and will not watch a Dracula miniseries on NBC. So, not sure what we're doing here.

First Official Stills from "Hitchcock", the biopic which hits theaters November 23rd.

A real nasty clip from "Excision", starring Annalynne McCord. The film gets a release October 16th. No sarcasm here, this is at the top of my 'must see' list.

Check out a sales teaser for "Cabin Fever: Patient Zero". So apparently they're still making those, sure it's going to be great... (sarcasm has returned)

A glimpse into the "Prometheus" film that could have been... Between this and the conversation on our podcast about it, I am never going to be able to enjoy "Prometheus" again. Are you happy now?

In Real People News: 

Man dies during roach eating contest in Florida. So, that's a thing.

Beer truck crashes, people react accordingly... And with that, you know where Joe's been.

Horror Headlines: Thursday October 4th, 2012

Anthology films, they're so hot right now. Take "ABC's Of Death" a new one that has a short tale for each letter of the alphabet which has just been slapped with a January 31st VOD release date. Take it... I honestly have no idea how to wrap this up.

I've had a little soft spot in my heart for the big screen version of "Preacher" that's been in the works for some time now only because it's the only comic series I've ever read and I like to make annoying comments like, "Oh have you read that? It's a lot better in print form". But the thing has been in limbo for years and I had almost given up on it ever happening. But during a recent interview screenwriter John August dropped word that he really wants to see the film be made but "it won't be any time soon". Thought this was going in a different direction didn't you? Sorry.

Amazon studios still seems like some sort of weird joke to me but apparently it's a real thing and they make movies happen. They've just dropped that they'll be producing the film adaptation of the novel "Seed" which focuses on a family being terrorized by an evil presence that not only wants them to die, but die slowly. No word on director, cast or release date but rest assured you'll know about it as soon as info pops up, along with any new hot deals for your brand new Kindle Hello Kitty cover.

"Paranormal Activity 4" has been given an R rating for language and violence. We're all thinking it... booo no nudity.

In Real People News: 

Would you lick a NYC subway railing for a dollar? No? Well this kid did.

Did you know there's software that allows the cops to track and control your computer if it's stolen? Did you know that they'll keep the weird nude photos the guy who stole your computer took of himself when they get your computer back? I do now.

Trailers: "Paranormal Activity 4", more scares, more product placement!

Here's the latest trailer for "Paranormal Activity 4" which gets released October 19th in the US. We get a lot more scares, more plot and some infuriating product placement for the Kinect on XBOX 360. You know, I have done a really good job not feeling bad about liking these movies, and they just might be ruining it for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I suddenly have the urge to go out and buy a system that allows me to play motion games on my XBOX...

"Paranormal Activity" Timeline Fits the Puzzle Pieces Together

With the upcoming release of the fourth installment of the "Paranormal Activity" franchise heading our way, many of us are wondering just what the series has left to give us. Other than a few teaser trailers, most of the plot details have remained unknown other than the fact that we know PA4 takes place five years after the original movie and focuses around Katie's neighbors.

Our 9 Most Anticipated Horror Films of the Fall

It is the witching time of year and the Halloween season is upon us. Let's take a look at what's haunting theaters this fall...


9. Hotel Transylvania


Date: September 28
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Cast: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg

Trailer: "Paranormal Activity 4"

The trailer for the fourth installment of the "Paranormal Activity" franchise has hit the tubes and once again I have a clenched butthole. It's the same film you've seen 3 times already but this time they use webcams. Maybe I'm a moron but I still get a clenched butthole when I watch this crap. Not to mention the little kid walking around holding Katie's hand looks about the same size as my daughter. So now I don't trust her either. I don't trust anyone.

"Paranormal Activity 4" hits theaters on October 16th.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, June 27th, 2012

If you know one thing about me it's that I am a giant Greek mythology buff. Yes I know I've never mentioned it but I'm pretty sure you can tell just by looking into my eyes. They're so blue and dreamy. So the news that a film titled "Theseus" is in the works and will follow the zany antics of the warriors who battled and defeated (spoiler alert) the legendary minotaur has got me all in a tizzy. No real details are being released yet but Javor Gardev has already signed on to direct. Seriously check out my eyes sometime. You'll get lost in them.

I feel like I've written more about "The Exorcist" in the past month than I have my entire existence as a internet sensation. Granted I've only been the leader in internet content for about 2 years and during that time not much has happened so it kind of makes sense. So just to catch you up about a month ago a rumor was out that there was a tv show based on the film in the works. Then it came out that the show was BS but William Friedkin, who owns the rights to the story, was working on his own show. Now today he says that's actually crap too and the idea of a series based on an exorcism is awful. So now we're done with this. Until next week.

21 year old Matt Shively is the first name to be attached to "Paranormal Activity 4" which hits theaters on October 19th. He's reportedly playing the role of 'Alex' who I do not remember from any of the other films but honestly if I was forced at gun point to name anything other than "spooky ghost you can't see" I'd be dead right now.

Sigourney Weaver says James Cameron is going to shoot "Avatar 2" right along with 3 and 4 at the same time. In honor of this I will see those movies at the same time also. I'll set up 4 giant TV's, I'll toss in the original for good measure, and let the visuals blow my mind. I kid of course. I'm never going to watch those.

In Real People News: 

Here's a story, with video, of a guy dressed as Elmo running around the central park zoo screaming antisemitic nonsense. Ya know, for the kids.

What the hell is K-2? I need someone to explain this to me because a guy in Texas was high on it when he attacked his neighbors and then killed and ate his dog. I wonder if you could take that before going on one of those Fear Factor shows. If you'd eat a entire dog I'm sure you'd down half a cow's brain and jump through fire.

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