clash of the titans

Horror Headlines: Friday March 18th, 2011

Alan Tudyk has signed on to play Stephen A. Douglas in the big screen adaptation of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". It's funny because Alan is best know as playing Steve the Pirate in "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story". If at any point you thought, "Oh does he mean that guy from 'Firefly'?" then I'm going to ask you to leave right now.

Chris Pine, Alex Pettyfer and Shia LaBeouf are all expressing inner desires to play the lead role in the silver screen version of "Preacher". Pettyfer is the only one keeping me from being completely enraged about this and that's only because I have no freakin clue who he is. What's that? The kid from "Beastly" you say? Super! Maybe we can get Kevin Smith to direct and we can just call it a day.

If you don't know who Ray Harryhausen is then you don't know the joys of weird ass stop motion animation of years gone by. You should, that's the point I'm making. Well if not there's a new documentary about the man behind the effect of such classics as "Clash of the Titans" (the good one) and "Jason and the Argonauts" titled "Ray Harryhausen: Special Effects Titan". Bubo, look it up.

In the wake of the recent tragedies in Japan Legendary Pictures has asked Guillermo del Toro to revise the screenplay for his upcoming disaster film "Pacific Rim". The movie focuses around the a group of monsters that attack the earth and threaten to end us all. Click here for ways that you can help in the relief effort.

In Real People News: 

For the love of god you can't do anything without some jackass videotaping you, putting it on the internet and getting you arrested. You're driving a school bus like this women in Connecticut and you do a little texting, say 1,068 texts, and all of the sudden you're on video and going to jail. Alright in this case the video was being captured because you were already being investigated for abusing the special needs children you're suppose to be driving. Oh yeah it was special needs kids that you were putting in danger. Still! Technology kind of sucks.

And if you haven't already seen this video of a snake biting a woman's giant fake boob then you're in for a treat... and possibly some vomiting. Apparently the snake died of silicone poisoning after the attack which I will go on record as saying is good. because snakes are awful creatures that serve no purpose in the world but to be terrible. Happy Friday, kids.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 9th, 2011

Despite my undying hatred for Kevin Smith, "Red State" actually looks pretty good, and it kills me to say that. Well to keep the ball rolling Mrs. Smith (see what I did there) released a new clip to the fine people at MTV. Because if you want to stay indie, you go to the channel that brought you "The Grind".

Rosamund Pike, who has a stupid name but was apparently in "Doom" so I like her, has been added to the cast of the "Clash of the Titans" sequel currently titled "Wrath of the Titans". The movie will be bad but it's got the girl with the stupid name who was in "Doom" so maybe it'll make me think of The Rock, the wrestler not the movie, and it'll make me happy and I'll like it. That's logic people, logic all over your face.

Victor Salva is the guy responsible for ruining my senior year by making the movie "Powder", bald pale white guys aren't all freaks, people! Now he's got a new movie titled "Rosewood Lane" that has just cast Rose McGowen. If this one turns out to be about a guy with a mild drinking problem and horrible grammar who sits on NJ transit for 2 hours a day I'm going to think Victor has it out for me.

Suck on that "Snakes on a Plane"! David R. Ellis has topped you for best movie name ever. He wants to release his new film under the title "Untitled 3D Shark Thriller". Try to guess what the movie is about and what dimension it'll be shown is. I bet you guess right. If you didn't you might want to get that looked at.

In Real People News: 

Kids, they do the darnedest things. Like these three students in Ohio that set a kid's hair on fire while riding the bus home from school. At least I think it was on the way home, that's an awful way to start the day. It's not really a great way to end it either but ya know.

Sometimes the urge calls and there's no stopping it. A Florida teen was arrested for breaking into a business recently because he stopped to look at porn on a company computer. It's his own fault though, apparently he was just pulling his pants up when the police got there. I'm guess it took them at least 15 minutes to get the call and get there. This guy is doing something wrong.

Horror Headlines: Monday December 20th, 2010

It's time to get excited! Thousands of white trash tattoos will once again be cool now that the artist H.R. Giger has agreed to come on board to help develop the as yet untitled "Alien" prequel. Even more surprising? H.R. Giger is still alive! Who knew!?

It's always nice when the big Hollywood types fess up to their short comings. Like Mr. Sam Worthington who has finally gone on record as saying maybe the "Clash of the Titans" remake was kind of crap. He has yet to apologize for having the dreamiest eyes in the world though.

And just when you thought the Zombies have done it all a movie comes along called "Ninja Zombies". The film is apparently about a group of ninjas, that are also zombies. You probably could have guessed that from the title, but then I have no reason to be here. You wouldn't do that to me, would you?

If you don't like Disney and all their magic then you are a whiny little prick who hates fun and all things good. That's a fact. As a horror fan how could you not be excited to see them putting together a movie about the "Museum of the Weird"? The film is based on a Disneyland attraction that never was. If you have bad things to say about this I will fight you.

In Real People News: 

It seems obvious that if you're shooting a movie in a city and you shoot up a car you don't just leave that car sitting in the middle of a street. But I guess the folks filming in Philadelphia didn't think there would be any concern when they walked away from their blown out vehicles with wires hanging out of them. So the cops called a bomb squad. Silly Philadelphia.

Never go to bed angry my friends. It's a solid way to keep a relationship going and an even better to way to make sure your lady doesn't light your crotch on fire while you're sleeping. You're welcome for the advice.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 27th, 2010

If you thought the “Clash of the Titans” remake was going to be kick ass, now you can see it in 3D. Sure it wasn’t filmed for 3D and will most likely just give you a headache but who are you to judge. You’re such a downer sometimes.

Jay Mohr has joined the cast of Clint Eastwood’s new thriller "Hereafter". I have nothing bad to say about Jay Mohr, he’s funny and adorable. But his co-star Matt Damon! Oh who am I kidding he’s adorable too.

A two minute clip of the high seas thriller “Triangle” is now online for your viewing pleasure. The film is by "Severance" director Chris Smith and stars the most frightening set of clouds you’ve ever seen.

Love Rob Zombie but think his movies lack the excitement of a forensic investigation? You’re in luck! He’s directed an episode of “CSI: Miami” that will air on March 1st titled “LA”. And yes of course Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top makes an appearance.

In Real People News: 

Kids do the darndest things! Like gun down their father's girlfriend with a shotgun. Wait no that's not funny at all.

I've never had a desire to visit Scotland until I found out I could walk along the coast in the nude proudly displaying my sex toy collection. Those sick SOBs sure know how to party.

The need to riot and beat the hell out of someone at a soccer game is still a mystery to me. The need to stab someone over a soccer video game though makes perfect sense though. Many a night my brother and I came close to murdering each other after a game of RBI Baseball.

On this day in history: 

1992 - Mike Tyson goes on trial for rape.

Horror Headlines: Thursday December 17th, 2009

Remember that rumor earlier this week about Bill Murray playing a ghost in "Ghostbusters 3"? Turns out Sigourney Weaver was just having a little fun at your expense. Oh, Sigourney!

Writer/director Victor Salva really hopes that "Jeeper Creepers 3" will have a proper theatrical release. MGM, meanwhile, isn't so sure.

Although it isn't technically a horror film, it's worth noting that the new trailer for Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" has appeared online. Honestly, I'm pretty excited about this one.

Additionally, the latest trailer for the high-concept remake of "Clash of the Titans" features a tasty little glimpse of the updated Medusa and the Kraken. My skepticism is quickly waning.

In Real People News: 

If you think you can rip off the library, think again. An Iowa woman was jailed for not returning the 53 movies she'd borrowed from her local branch.

After flashing her breasts at on-coming traffic, a New Zealand teen is struck by a distracted driver. I don't think they cover this sort of thing in Driver's Ed.

Impaling yourself on a wooden fence is bad enough. Having to wait over 45 minutes for help to arrive is something else entirely. Ouch.

On this day in history: 

1969 - Project Blue Book, the branch of the military that investigated UFO sightings, is reportedly terminated.

Horror Headlines: Thursday December 10th, 2009

Generally speaking, a poster for an upcoming big-budget Hollywood remake isn't much of a news item. However, the latest "Clash of the Titans" poster is seriously badass, and worthy of your attention. Medusa would be proud.

British zombie fans, rejoice! Apparently, George A. Romero's upcoming "Survival of the Dead" will infect Region 2 DVD players on March 15th, 2010. Stateside fanatics, I'm afraid, may have a while to wait.

If, for some strange reason, Oren Peli's "Paranormal Activity" left you wanting more, be sure to check out the new digital comic book available exclusively on iTunes. Remember: That's boredom you're experiencing, not demonic possession.

Those jonesing for another installment of the new "Friday the 13th" franchise aren't going to be happy, as the sequel to Marcus Nispel's dodgy remake has been moved to an undetermined date. Given the film's lukewarm reception, I'm honestly not surprised.

In Real People News: 

Norwegian stargazers were shocked and a little horrified to find a series of incredibly mysterious blue lights hovering overhead. Blame the Russians, I say.

As much as your smelly redneck neighbors may annoy you, at least they're not using their free time to feed and nourish the local vulture population. I'm creeped out just thinking about it.

On this day in history: 

1993 - At a ceremony performed inside a London temple, Adolf Hitler is baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Horror Headlines: Friday April 10th, 2009

"The Cell 2" hits DVD and Blu-Ray June 16th, and the artwork's at the link. You know, in case you thought there were unanswered questions from the original.

There's a new "Uncle Coffins" commercial up at the "H2" Myspace, and still nothing from Danielle Harris. The wait continues...

Hot chick Erica Leerhsen is in "The Message", which has a trailer at the link. Leerhsen's prevous credits include "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (2003) and "Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows".

I'm not really sure that I'm anticipating Park Chan Wook's "Thirst" as much as everyone else is, but Twitch calls this trailer "brilliant", so I guess I'm just going to roll with it. Check it at the link.

Liam Neeson and Ralph Feinnes will star in the "Clash of the Titans" remake currently in development over at Warner Bro's. That may be more fancy Britishness than one set is capable of handling.

In Real People News: 

What would you do if you encountered a rare 1,1000 lb shark that has only been seen in the wild 41 times in history? Study it? Try to learn more? Apparently if you're in the Philippines, the answer is "eat it".

Ohio caller to a pop-radio station confesses to murder of bully in 1988. Sure seems like an unorthodox way to try and win concert tickets, but at least he gave it the old college try.

Guy busted for making Crack in a microwave? You tell ME where this happened.

The Sun claims this British guy found the visage of "Ghostface" in his bar of soap. Two things. 1: That doesn't look like Ghostface but it is kind of odd... 2: That soapdish makes me want to vomit.

On this day in history: 

1947: Agents of the FBI pay a visit to Screen Actors Guild president Ronald Reagan and his wife, actress Jane Wyman. They accuse the couple of belonging to Communist front groups. Reagan quickly agrees to become a secret informer.

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