Ken Marino, who wants to dip his balls in it, has been added to the cast of the new dark comedy "Milo". Judy Greer also stars in the film about a man who believe his intestinal problems are caused by a demon living inside him. But a funny demon. Like the Don Rickles of demons or something.
The gang over at Fox tapped Will Dunn to write a big screen adaptation of Jesus Orellana's 2011 short film "Rosa". Channing Tatum has already been attached to the project which takes place in a future world where all natural life has been destroyed and a lone cyborg has been created to try to restore the world back to its former glory. Insert your own "Magic Mike" jokes here.
I'm pretty sure we've discussed "Cloud Atlas" but for the life of me I can't remember when or why. I mean I guess I know why. It's a horror site and the film is based on a book about a group that travels to the South Pacific to tell different tales in a book that eventually sends them back in time. Oh that's right we never talked about this because it confused the hell out of me. Anyway it's going to be in theaters on October 26th. See you there?
Sad news today that horror vet Richard Lynch has died at the age of 76. Readers may remember Lynch from his role in "Bad Dreams" as well as a number of other horror films.
In Real People News:
A 72 year old man has been given a life sentence after he showed up at the door of a former high school classmate and killed him over a locker room prank from over 50 years ago. I'd like to take this time to personally apologize to anyone I may have hurt both mentally and physical in high school. Especially those that happen to know where I live. Or even write for this site and sit in on a weekly podcast with me. We're cool, right?
100% honest here, I don't think my news today is my best work. Sure there's a couple funny quips in there but all and all I kind of phoned things in. I'm pretty sure I do remember how "Battle Los Angeles" ended I just couldn't think of anything else to write. I'll try harder tomorrow. I promise.
Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum have both been offered roles in the upcoming Wachowskis brothers film "Jupiter Ascending". Honestly I just don't have it in me to find out what the movie is going to be about so let's just call it "Matrix" with even worse acting and a ton more adorable.
I'm not sure anyone asked for it but it looks like Jonathan Liebesman is hard at work on a sequel to 2011's alien invasion flick "Battle Los Angeles". I know I saw the movie and don't think I hated it but for the life of me I can't remember how it ended. So I'm really excited to see where this goes.
I'm so Twi-Hard at this news right now I can't even stand up. Billy Burke, who's in all the "Twilight" movies in case you didn't get the reference, has been officially confirmed to be be joining the cast of J.J. Abrams' new series "Revolution". In the show a family will struggle to reunite in a post apocalyptic America. Burke will play a dad who discovers his daughter is in love with a vampire and a werewolf at the same time. Wait no... that can't be right.
Our next lucky contestant in the scoop up any book that has teens fighting in it is Lex Thoma who penned the book "Quarantine: The Loners" which is about a world where a deadly virus is killing anyone who reaches puberty. Teens form gangs and then battle for territory and survival. I hope some of them dress up like the Baseball Furies. Those guys were scary as all hell.
If you're going to expose yourself to people you're probably going to get caught and go to jail. So don't even bother trying to eat all the pot you have on you. You're going to get busted for that too and now you're naked and all stoned our of your mind. On second though maybe you should eat it. What else do you have to lose?
In news that I don't know is good or bad it looks like Bradley Cooper has decided to back away from the lead role in "The Crow" remake because of scheduling conflicts. Rumor has it that Mark Wahlberg and Channing Tatum are both being tossed around as replacements. In other news I have recently discovered that Channing is apparently a name for a man. I think at least.
Fall is right around the corner my friends. I know because I've already gotten my candy corn scented candles from Yankee Candle. But aside from that exciting news it also looks like Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights is shaping up. It looks like this year's terror tram will take you into the world of Wes Craven's "Scream" specifically focusing on that last installment of the franchise. Just spit balling here but I think they should plant teenagers on the ride that use confusing lingo to make you feel old. It'll really bring the whole theme home.
Everyone loves Ed Harris. It's a fact, I took a poll on Facebook. And it looks like his new haunted submarine flick "Phantom" has gotten some funding and distribution support from the good people at RCR Media Group. Man the kids love them some RCR don't they? Harris plays the captain of a haunted submarine who has to make a decision that could either destroy his homeland or launch world war 3. What the hell could that choice possibly be?
A new poster for the Amanda Seyfried and Justin Timberlake flick "In Time" has hit the web and I can honestly say this is the first time I've ever had a crush on a poster. I'm not saying if it's because of one or both of them I'm just saying I got all kinds of tingles in my belly. If you're not familiar with the film it takes place in a world where a person's time left on this planet is the new form of currency. Timberlake plays a future world Robin Hood who gives away time to the poor. I bet he does it in a super sexy way too. I think I've said enough.
In Real People News:
Not a day goes by that I'm not terrorized by the reality that the closest Waffle House to my apartment is over 70 miles away. And I couldn't be more enraged by the fact that this man in Florida tried to kill his wife by driving his truck into the Waffle House that she was eating at. Look I don't know if your wife deserves to be run over or not but the Waffle House has done nothing but provide delicious food to you. Show some respect.
It's not secret that Australia is run by criminals and deviants so it should come as no shock that Qantas airlines is now offering an on demand movie titled "The Female Orgasm Explained". If you couldn't have guessed it the film is an educational look at how to make your special someone happy in her downstairs boom box. Because who hasn't been frustrated with a long flight where they can't learn about how to please a woman.