Horror Headlines: Monday May 16th, 2011

I've never hidden that fact that I want to make a sweet sweet baby with the original "The Amityville Horror" and now I'm giddy with delight over the green lighting of "The Amityville Horror: The Lost Tapes". The movie, which is set for a 2012 release, will focus on a journalist trying to uncover the true story behind the house after the events of the first film. Will it be awful? Mostly likely but F you, I want to see some bleeding walls!

Universal has decided to push the start date of Ron Howard's adaptation of Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" after rumors were flying around that they might pass on the 3 movie series all together. Why would they do this? I don't know, I'm not allowed in these meetings. Have you seen my wardrobe? They're not going to let a jackass in dirty jeans and a "Don't Mess With Texas" t-shirt into a big fancy executive meeting.

I'm a cynical asshole, by nature, and because of that it pains me more than anything else in the world to admit the trailer for the "Fright Night" remake actually looks really really good. And I'm not even saying that because Colin Farrell is a dreamy SOB. On a side note. When the hell did we find out this movie was going to be in 3D? I could have sworn two weeks ago we found out the cast. Now it's releasing in August? Where the hell have I been?!

Danielle Harris has become the go to gal for horror movies that aren't going to be released in theaters so here's the trailer for "Shiver", a horror movie she stars in that I'm 99% sure is only going to play in 17 theaters across the country. What the hell do I know though, it's got the guy from "Starship Troopers". Anyway the film focuses on a secretary who fights back after being assaulted by a serial killer. Rae Dawn Chong is in it too... take that however you want.

In Real People News: 

Sometimes there's a news story that's so awful it just makes you smile. Then it makes you try to figure out what the hell is wrong with you for smiling. Here's a story about an Illinois man who had a house guest who wouldn't leave. So he tossed gasoline on him and lit him on fire. Are you smiling? Yeah you are you sick prick.

And because I get a kick out of making you feel like you need another shower, here's a story about a guy who is being forced to undergo evaluation after he slapped and rubbed the genitals of his pet Chihuahua in the common area of his apartment complex. Are you still smiling? You belong in hell... sicko.

Around the Web

What's New?

We talk about Joe's feelings. ALL of them.

Podcast

So this one's quite the... head-scratcher...

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web