the goon

Horror Headlines: Monday, January 30th, 2012

This morning on the way to work I saw a pile of old VHS tapes and a used rubber on the sidewalk. Not in the same pile, that would just be weird. Not that the two things being in separate piles isn't weird. Last week I saw two Sega Genesis' on the street. The point of this story is that someone who lives near me is having a crap load more fun then I am.

Eric Powell, creator of "The Goon" comic recently took to his blog to set the record straight on the current status of the big screen adaptation of the book. Despite rumblings around the net the movie is still very much going to happen and the production company behind it is currently looking for funding. I don't know if that means they're having bake sales or something but honestly that doesn't sound too good.

If you're as excited about ABC's "The River" as I am then you're honestly not that excited. It's on Tuesdays. I already have shows on Tuesdays. I'm not even sure I can work it into my schedule. The new website that just launched for it isn't really helping either. Sure it's all animated and crap and sure it's like a fun game but seriously, there's going to be DVR conflicts out the ying yang for this thing.

I love me some Linnea Quigley, I don't care what age. Alright that sounds kind of creepy but the news here is that the lipstick queen will be showing up in "1313: Cougar Cult". The film is set to go direct to DVD (shocker) on February 7th and revolves around a group of college guys who get a summer job working for three older women who actually turn into cougars. I think that's a pun, or a play on words, or a haiku.

I have no idea what these ramblings mean but Nicolas Cage wants to remake "The Wicker Man"... in Japan... and have "Ringu" director Hideo Nakata direct it... and have the main character be a ghost this time. No sarcastic comments here, folks. Someone needs to help this guy.

In Real People News: 

Ever wonder what happens when you're unconscious in a hospital? Well apparently in one Utah hospital what happens is you get some free oral sex. Weather you want it or not. But you know you wanted it. Sinner.

A homeless man has been rescued after he was stuck in mud for over three days near the Rio Grande. He then went to jail because he had a number of outstanding warrants. It's a happy ending.

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