piranha 2

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 5th, 2009

Stills from "Piranha 2". If you want my advice, stop after the bikini one, because the next shot is a dried up old Richard Dreyfuss. That won't be good for anyone.

Stop the presses, it's time for "The Toxic Avenger 5: The Toxic Twins". Ok, it's only a promo poster that debuted at this week's American Film Market, but it means that development has come along farther than it has in a long while. Lloyd Kaufman is attached to direct (as usual). That just made my week.

In Real People News: 

Wow, allergic to sperm... you don't hear that every day. Don't let your girlfriend/wife know this is a real thing. Trust me.

Wiping your ass with the bible. That's a bold move, not much that can follow that act.

Mayor jokes about opponent being found dead that day, the only thing is his body wasn't found until a few hours later. Nothing to see here folks, move along.

On this day in history: 

1605: Parliament is scheduled for detonation in the notorious Gunpowder Plot, in which Catholic conspirators attempted to roll back protestantism in England. Thirty-six barrels of black powder were uncovered in the cellar, and fuses were found in Guy Fawkes' pocket. In consequence, Fawkes was beheaded. Britains now celebrate his death with warm beer and fireworks.

Piranha II: The Spawning (REVIEW)

Lance Henriksen is Police Chief Martin Brody, excuse me, Police Chief Steve Kimbrough. He’s grizzled, chiseled and he’s the only law in Amity… excuse me again, Elysium Island. His estranged wife Ann and is a microbiologist working as a dive instructor. No one is quite sure why. Their teenage son Chris is an affable kid who has a troublingly familiar way with his mother; unless unbeknownst to most of us there is some obscure Caribbean custom that normalizes teasing your naked mom with fish when she is in bed. Ann and Chris live in the resort hotel where Ann works.

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