john leguizamo

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

Truth be told I didn't even know they had electricity in Chile but apparently in between mass producing baby back ribs they managed to put out a horror movie titled "Hidden In the Woods". Well hold your poppers kids because Jennifer Blanc and Michael Biehn have already decided to remake the film for your fine English ears. The film focuses on two sisters who are terrorized by their father after they try to report him to the police for dealing drugs and in general being a prick. Those were all Chili's references if you didn't get it.

I've never seen a Kirk Wong movie before but I have seen at least two of his movies available for renting on netflix so I assume he's pretty famous. Well apparently Kirky boy (I call him Kirky boy) has decided to come out of retirement (I had no idea he was retired) to direct a new film simply titled "Six". Not to be confused with "Leonard Part 6" the film follows a doctor who fuses animals and humans together. Wait, that does sound a lot like "Leonard Part 6" doesn't it? Confuse away.

Is it racist that I just assumed that John Leguizamo has already been cast as a drug dealer in Ridley Scott's "The Counselor"? I mean it might be. But he has now so maybe that makes it not racist. I don't know. Let's just go with "no" and talk about how great I look today.

It's confession time here at BGH, folks. Truth be told I tell you about a lot of Blu-Ray releases and pretend to be excited but in reality have no real intentions of buying them. But this one folks I promise you will end up on my book case. Well it's more of a large dresser type thing. It sounds weird but it really completes the room. It's Ikea but surprisingly sturdy. Oh right the movie, it's "They Live" and it will be available on November 16th.

In Real People News: 

You ever go to sleep at night and wake up the next day and have no idea where you put your penis? No matter where you look it just doesn't seem to be in its usual place? No me either, but this guy in China had that happen.

I'll be honest I walk around the fine city of NYC every day and become a giant disgusting mess of sweat and filth. But I've never, ever, thought that washing my man bits in a fountain was a good idea. No one wants to see that. Turns out you can go to jail for it also.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday December 8th, 2010

I've made a decision to not bother watching the next season of "True Blood" and Neil Hopkins' dreamy eyes aren't going to change that. Him along with Christina Moore and Chris Butler have been added to next season's cast and they'll all play wizards or gargoyles or something stupid.

"Blood is Blood" looks like a monster flick set in the middle of the woods with half naked women. In other words it looks really really awesome and I'm all a flutter about it. A new trailer for the flick, which apparently use to be called "Lockjaw" has hit the tubes and shows all the things I've promised and more.

Put it in the books kids, two trailers in a row that I don't have anything awful to say about. And this one has John Leguizamo! "Vanishing on 7th Street" is about a small group of people who find each other after they wake up and discover most of the world has disappeared. Excited? Wow and you haven't even seen the trailer yet, I hope you don't have a heart attack.

"Echo Lake" is a new online web series about a small town a serial killer is running around killing everyone. This sounds like a handful of really bad TV shows that have been flops, see "Happy Town" and "Harper's Island", but hey maybe it'll work online. What do I know.

In Real People News: 

A Wisconsin woman apparently bit off her 72 year old husband's tongue when he went to kiss her goodnight recently. Just to top things off she then proceeded to throw coffee at the police when they came to her house. Old people are freaks.

And to prove my point here's a report that says men over 75 years old want more sex but are unfortunately limited by opportunity and failing health. If I had my way they would also be limited by severe laws but it's becoming painfully clear that I'll never be president so enjoy all the horny old men wandering the streets America.

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