Jeff Buhler

Horror Headlines: Monday July 1st, 2013

With my first mid-west 4th of July just a few days away I am both angered and confused after discovering that both Illinois and Milwaukee have laws that you can actually sell fireworks, just not shoot them off. I have no idea what sort of monster came up with this law but I'd like to punch them square in the face and then shoot a firework at their family dog.

I think the last time I saw a Julianne Moore movie I liked she was asking The Dude to plant his seed inside her. It's been a while. But good news, her next project is a witchs come to F crap up tale titled "The Seventh Son" and co-stars The Dude himself Jeff Bridges. Bad news, the project had already had its release date pushed once and now it's happened again, landing a January 17, 2014 outing now. Pray someone loses a toe.

It's probably been more than 20 years since I saw "Jacob's Ladder" and I'm not going to lie, it confused the holy living hell out of me. IMDB tells me it's about a Vietnam vet who starts to go nutso and seeings weird ass crap after the loss of his child. Not in those words exactly but you get the idea. My point here is I keep meaning to go back and watch the film again but now I don't have to because a remake is on it's way. Jeff Buhler, the fella who wrote "Midnight Meat Train", will pen the script and god willing he will dumb it down so I can understand it.

Crap, we completely forgot to celebrate last Wednesday. What was the special occasion you ask? Why it was exactly 2 years to the date before we get the new "Terminator" movie. I know, June 26th, 2015 is right around the corner, I'm really excited too.

David Bowie has been offered a role on the next season of "Hannibal" according to the show's creators. No word yet on if Mr. Stardust will take the role, but word has it he would be playing Hannibal's uncle on the second season of the NBC show. The good news here is I use to not really like David Bowie and now after hearing his music for about 30 years I've grown to really enjoy his work. So look out "Hannibal" producers, you might just have a new fan come 2043.

In Real People News: 

A obese elderly woman was discovered in Washington after she was so neglected by her daughter that maggots were actually eating away at her flesh. Don't worry though, the maggots were actually eating away at a serious infection in the womans leg and may of actually helped save her life by eating away at the dead skin. Did you just throw up? it's ok to say yes.

Killing the family dog is bad enough, but cooking it? Well I guess that's just not being wasteful so I'm kind of neutral on the whole thing. Yes this happened in Florida.

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