death valley

Horror Headlines: Thursday June 30th, 2011

Warner Bros. looking to be courting the ever so dreamy Johnny Depp to take the lead in the big screen adaptation of Glen Gold's book "Carter Beats the Devil". The story, which is a fictional biography about a magician who somehow gets involved with the death of President Warren G. Harding during his long career. I hope that magician had dreamy eyes in the book, cause there's no hiding those beautiful peepers of Depp's. Am I right? Am I? Let's move on.

Fresh out of jail writer Roger Avary has been hired to adapt William Faulkner's 1931 novel "Sanctuary" for the big screen. For those of you not familiar with the book I'll go ahead and say there's no way in hell my explanation would clear anything up so let's just say it's chock full of murder, pervs and violence. I think there might be some animal sex too. I'm not positive. Let's just say there is. Better safe than sorry.

Here's something I never thought I'd type. The trailer for the new MTV show looks pretty decent. I know it's like crazy upside down day. But "Death Valley" has some potential. It's a fake cops type show that follows a special until of the LAPD as they battle zombies, werewolves, vampires and god knows what else. Some decent talent in there also. I think I need to go lie down.

Yesterday we talked about some details about the new "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D" film and from the overflow of comments it looks like you were all pretty excited. So today I bring you a release day. Yes there's no new "Saw" this year so Texas 3D is picking up the torch and getting an October 5th release date in theaters. And yes I know I've called it "Leatherface 3D" also but you know what? So has every other site of the god damn internet so get off my back.

In Real People News: 

Expose yourself to an entire wedding from a 4th floor window once and that's just good plain fun but doing it multiple times, well that'll get you tossed in jail. Of course I assume people exposing themselves is common practice for a wedding in Pennsylvania. The Amish ya know... those sick SOBs.

Oh why can't every day be mother's day? Here's a story about a woman who along with a friend decided the best way to feed their meth habit was by pimping out her 3 year old son. Then again I assume pimping out your child to feed your meth habit is common practice in Oklahoma. Sooners ya know... those sick SOBs.

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