Death Race

Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 16th, 2010

If you thought the 2008 "Death Race" was a one shot deal, you were wrong! Universal Home Video has announced the direct to video sequel "Death Race: Frankenstein Lives" starring Luke Goss in drivers seat. Joining him will be the likes of Ving Rhames, Danny Trejo and Sean Bean, which makes you wonder which part of the track their careers crashed in.

"Taxi Driver" appears to be the next film slated for a modern remake but could there be actual hope for this one? Rumors were confirmed that Martin Scorecese, Lars Von-Trier and Robert DeNiro are all involved, with a strong chance of DeNiro reprising his Travis Bickle role.

Just off of the news of Neil Marshall's next epic "Centurion", the director has spoken of his plans to step into the producers chair for Ian D Fleming's "Ghosts of Slaughterford".

Ever read the synonymous trio of books written by Dean Koontz? Neither have I, but they are now slated for the feature film treatment.

In Real People News: 

A group of New York City morgue employees are caught posing corpses in bizarre and humorous poses and taking photos, as opposed to respectfully dealing with the remains.

A woman in Daytona Beach Shores, FL is arrested for trying to set fire to her neighbors condo with a Molotov Cocktail. She was upset because the neighbor was purportedly using the internet. According to the woman, computers were used to murder people on the internet and weren't allowed on the property. It was all okay though because she stated she received a presidential pardon before she pumped the gas for her cocktails. What?

On this day in history: 

1959 - Failed baseball player Fidel Castro is sworn in as President For Life of Cuba

Horror Headlines: Friday, November 13th, 2009

So I went to see a midnight screening of 2012 last night. While this movie is wholly idiotic and about three hours long, it was made even more interminable by the wannabe-black frat-boy douche behind me that wouldn't shut up. About an hour in, I lost it, stood up and told him to “Shut the fuck up or I'll bash your fucking brains in!”. Normally, I like to think of myself as a level-headed fella, but talking during a movie is one of the few things that will drive me over the edge into violence. What ever happened to cinematic politeness and respect for others?

Paul WS Anderson is back on Castlevania. God, does anyone really care anymore? At this point I'd be happy if Uwe Boll made the damn thing just so we can quit reporting on it.

In other Paul WS Anderson news, a prequel to last year's (INSANELY AWESOME) Death Race is in the writing stages. It will focus on the early years of Frank...oh, wait a minute...yep, Paul WS Anderson is off the project...no, hold on...OK. He's back on.

Hey, if you were going to pen a remake of the 1980s horror classic Fright Night, wouldn't your first pick be some chick who regularly writes episodes of Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy? No? WELL THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT A HOLLYWOOD STUDIO EXECUTIVE, YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF SHIT.

In Real People News: 

A Salt Lake City homeowner set up various traps to catch a local burglar. The thief, a certain Mr. Joseph Pesci, wiped paint and feathers out of his eyes and vowed to “Get that Goddamn Kevin McCallister!” as he was being led away by cops.

Russian Prime Minister Putin won the respect of the Russian hip-hop community at a recent party. Not from his hip-hop skills, mind you, but for passing out free loaves of bread. IN MOTHER RUSSIA, THERE AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE THE SOCIALIST PARTY 'CAUSE THE SOCIALIST PARTY WILL SHOOT YOU FOR DISSENTION! WHAT A COUNTRY!

On this day in history: 

n 2005, Andrew Stimpson, a 25-year old British man, is reported as the first person proven to have been "cured" of HIV. Sadly, he was killed two days later, by, ironically enough, a bus full of AIDS patients.

Alright. And, on that note, I hope you enjoyed today's Fowler Friday, because I am off next week. I'll be at Horrorhound Weekend, representing with Mark and Casey. Come up and say “hi”. If you're lucky, maybe even Colin Farrell will show up and spray you with beer that is being use to simulate an ejaculating penis. OI, SLAG OFF YA WANKERS.

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