catherine hardwicke

Horror Headlines: Friday, August 24th, 2012

I'm sorry I left you. To be 100% honest I'm probably going to do it again really soon. Don't you wish you could quit me?

"The Maze Runner" is a new sci-fi flick about a group of men who live inside an enclosed area with monsters lurking about outside. I know I'm already confused. Originally attached to "Twilight" director Catherine Hardwicke, word has come down that Wes Ball, who I assume was harassed pretty severely in school with a name like that, has been put in the director's chair for the project. I mean "ball", right? He kind of deserved whatever he got.

I've pretty much run out of jokes to pair with news about the upcoming NBC series "Hannibal" so I'm just going to come out and tell you that Hettienne Park has been added to the cast of the show as someone's love interest. I'm not sure whose. Not mine I know that for sure. She seems nice and all don't get me wrong. Just not my type. You don't know me!

The "Maniac" remake staring Elijah Wood seemed to be confirmed, cast and filmed in a matter of about 3 weeks and now it looks like IFC Midnight has picked up the film for distribution. No word on a release date yet but if things go as planned I assume it'll hit VOD sometime this afternoon.

I still haven't seen "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" but according to everyone I need to see it, and I need to see the original, and I need to read the books, and I need to drop a few pounds. It's a lot to take in. Well the disappointment that I'll probably just continue to get fatter will be coupled with the news that the US remake's sequel, "The Girl Who Played With Fire", will not be released till sometime in 2014. No real surprise there since we haven't heard jack squat about the second film moving along any time soon. So this gives me a lot of time to do none of the things I talked about earlier.

In Real People News: 

Now I know you can't drive and talk on the phone anymore but I have to say I've never heard of a law that says you can't drive around giving oral to a dildo while shoving a vibrator up your back side. I mean I had never heard of a law saying you can't do that until this guy from Minnesota got picked up doing just that. Way to ruin it for the rest of us buddy.

Cross country flights can be really boring. What the hell are you going to do on a 37 hour flight from New Jersey to Arizona (my time might be off)? Well I guess this one gentlemen had already seen the in flight movie because he opted to fondle the woman sitting next to him. For his sake I hope they don't edit the movies they show in prison too. That's just annoying.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 30th, 2010

Pack your picnic basket and grab your hood because Warner Brothers has set a date for Catherine Hardwicke's werewolf tale "Red Riding Hood". This Amanda Seyfried starring gothic retelling will hit theaters on March 11th, 2010.

The next "Final Destination" installment has been given an annoying official title in the form of "5nal Destination". Details have slipped about the film's opening suspension bridge disaster as well, but we all stopped caring after "5nal".

Anne Rice herself has taken to talking up speculation about her own properties as she drops hints about a possible "Vampire Lestat" reboot as well as a possible "Witching Hour" film or TV series. There are little to no concrete details thus far but 'Twihards', pay attention; this is where your whole goth romance schtick got its start.

In Real People News: 

Roger Saulnier was taking his dog for a late night walk when he heard screams coming from the nearby train tracks. When he found a woman who had fallen beneath a train and had her legs severed, he didn't think twice about reaching into the bloody stubs and tying off her arteries by hand saving the woman's life. This humble hero for a day credits his years as a jeweler for giving him the skills to pull off such a feat.

If you're hired to kill someone, make sure to double check the address... lest you get it wrong and accidentally kill an innocent family.

On this day in history: 

1882 - Charles Guiteau, the assassin of President Garfield, is hanged. Tickets for the event went for as much as $300.

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