Black Forest: Hansel and Gretel & The 420 Witch

If I ever decide to be come a cannibal I'm going to catch the next flight to Laurence Fishburne's house. I bet he would be delicious. And we'll all get to find out when he and Kevin Zegers star in "The Colony", a new flick about a group of survivors living in an underground bunker after the ice age hits trying to fight off a group of cannibals. Deals are not confirmed yet but they look to be locking in sometime in the near future. I don't even think he would need much seasoning...

NBC is banking on "Hannibal" being a hit with the kids and has decided to green light the show for a full series of 13 episodes. The show will be based on the classic characters from the "Red Dragon" novel and will focus on the relationship between Will Graham and his mentor Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Kind of like "Will and Grace" with murdering.

Lara Flynn Boyle is going to play a weed dealing witch in the new film "Black Forest: Hansel and Gretel & the 420 Witch". I have no idea what else to say about that.

I haven't heard much about the new movie "Chernobyl Diaries" but it sounds pretty bad ass. The film is about a group of friends who are stuck in the city of Prypiat in the aftermath of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. How the hell they got there I have no idea but it looks like they're not alone. Ohh spooky! The film has been just been given a May 25th release date and stars a bunch of people I've never heard of but I'm sure are super hot. Catch the fever.

Nic Kelman has been tapped by the fine people at Mandalay Pictures to take over the script writing for the big screen adaptation of the graphic novel "Ramayan 3392 A.D.". The writing process had begun way back in 2008 with John Collee, of John Collee and the Beaver Brown Band fame (google it, it's hilarious) originally being chosen for the writing job. Must not be "Eddie and the Cruisers" fans.

Did you see "Ginger Snaps" and immediately get a crush on Katharine Isabelle? Then you're a sicko and you belong in jail! Anyway she's in a new film called "13 Eerie" and now that she's at a more respectable age you can go ahead and get all fluttery over her. The film is a trapped on and island zombie romp and stars a bunch of other people but you don't care about... sicko.

Lara Flynn Boyle will play a teen eating witch in a new horror/comedy titled "Black Forest: Hansel and Gretel & The 420 Witch". If you couldn't have guessed already the film tells the story of a witch who lures kids to her California home with a special blend of pot and then cooks them for dinner. I don't know why it's taken so long for Hollywood to combine the whimsical charm of children stories with the joy of pot smoking.

And lastly it's my sad duty to report that David Hess, star of films like "Last house on the Left" and "Smash Cut" passed away yesterday at the age of 69.