david hess

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 31st, 2013

Who gives a crap that there's already a movie called "Dark Skies", lets make a different one and let's make it about sharks. F the system! Let's also get Tara Reid, because she is surprisingly available, and let's toss in Cassie Scerbo and Ian Ziering, two people I don't know but look like they're pretty close to doing soft core porn. Let's make it about LA being flooded and people fighting sharks. Let's just say F you logic and reasoning.

I have always been baffled by the music in the original "The Last House on the Left" but I'm guessing some people love it so the folks at One Way Static Records are releasing the soundtrack on vinyl for the very first time. For those of you not in the know, the soundtrack was composed by David Hess, who played "Krug" in the film. He's also the same guy who had an hour long conversation with Jon from the podcast about baseball at Horror Hound Weekend a few years back and then shot him down for a photo. He's also dead.

Sony has bumped up the release of the upcoming "Evil Dead" remake to April 5th. The move is mostly due to some other film's release date shifting but still, let's call this a good thing. Let's also agree to ever talk about the one night we both went to Hooters and ended up going to the bathroom at the same time and may or may not have compared sizes. No one should ever know about that.

So "Wolf Creek 2" is happening and it looks like John Jarratt, who played the creepy killer in the first flick, will be returning. Some other Australian folks who no one knows (sorry Australian readers) will also be in the flick which will follow a group of backpackers who encounter a strange local, so pretty much the same plot as the first film.

In Real People News: 

What do you do when cops catch you running around town nude? Well if you're this guy from Louisiana you break into song and start pleasuring yourself. I'm not saying that's right or wrong. I'm just giving you options.

Hey remember Jason London from "Dazed and Confused"? He played the... well the stoner guy but that was pretty much everyone in the film but whatever. Well he shit himself in the back of a cop car. Don't worry, he apparently did it on purpose after getting into a fight with cops because he sneezed on a bouncer.

Horror Headlines: Monday October 10th, 2011

Nic Kelman has been tapped by the fine people at Mandalay Pictures to take over the script writing for the big screen adaptation of the graphic novel "Ramayan 3392 A.D.". The writing process had begun way back in 2008 with John Collee, of John Collee and the Beaver Brown Band fame (google it, it's hilarious) originally being chosen for the writing job. Must not be "Eddie and the Cruisers" fans.

Did you see "Ginger Snaps" and immediately get a crush on Katharine Isabelle? Then you're a sicko and you belong in jail! Anyway she's in a new film called "13 Eerie" and now that she's at a more respectable age you can go ahead and get all fluttery over her. The film is a trapped on and island zombie romp and stars a bunch of other people but you don't care about... sicko.

Lara Flynn Boyle will play a teen eating witch in a new horror/comedy titled "Black Forest: Hansel and Gretel & The 420 Witch". If you couldn't have guessed already the film tells the story of a witch who lures kids to her California home with a special blend of pot and then cooks them for dinner. I don't know why it's taken so long for Hollywood to combine the whimsical charm of children stories with the joy of pot smoking.

And lastly it's my sad duty to report that David Hess, star of films like "Last house on the Left" and "Smash Cut" passed away yesterday at the age of 69.

In Real People News: 

Here's a fun story about two women who were tossed out of a Baltimore area Walmart after they got into a
bleach fight. It's like some sort of white trash sequel to "Zoolander".

And because it makes me happy to make you uncomfortable here's a story about a guy who was arrested for possession of drugs when the police noticed a string hanging out of his anus that was tied to the bag of pot and cocaine he had shoved up his ass. Happy Columbus Day!

"Smash Cut", More Pornstars in Horror

If there's a combo for a horror movie that will pretty much guarantee every fan is going to watch it, I would say it’s put a cult icon on screen with a porn star. That’s just putting two and two together, people. Well the producers behind “Smash Cut” are clearly aware of this formula, as they have put David Hess, star of “The Last House on the Left” and “Swamp Thing” alongside the star of “Finger Licking Good: Volume 5” and “House of Ass 3”, Sasha Grey.

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