At the Mountains of Madness

Horror Headlines: Monday, July 16th, 2012

I'm sorry I've been MIA for a couple days. I just had a lot going on. A wedding, my child's first birthday party and a house full of out of town guests. Look I said I'm sorry! You know I don't get paid for this right? I do this out of the kindness of my heart. You should get down on your knees and kiss my feet every day you get to enjoy my news. Look I'm sorry, that last part might have been a little bit too far. God I said I'm sorry! What do you want from me?! You're such a prick sometimes!

We're a few months away from Halloween but the good folks overt at Universal Studios have dropped word that both "The Walking Dead" and "Silent Hill" will be featured in this year's Halloween Horror Nights. No word yet on what the attractions will be just yet but if I was to guess I'd think for "The Walking Dead" you'll just chase a little kid around a farm for 2 hours and eventually get killed because his stupid ass won't stay in the house.

Despite earlier word that there was no chance in hell the film was going to happen it looks like Guillermo del Toro is very much looking forward to making "Hellboy 3". In a recent interview the ever busy director let loose that him and Ron Perlman are together and trying to make the flick happen. He also went on to say that he's still very much interested in making "At The Mountains Of Madness". He also confirmed that there is in fact an Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and he owns a Unicorn.

The good folks over at Showtime are teaming up with the gang that brought you "Hung" for a new supernatural thriller series titled "Sleep No More". No word on filming or air dates but the series will focus on a small town where the dead continue to return from the grave. I can't stop giggling over "Hung".

"Community" star Gillian Jacobs has signed on to costar with Ken Marino in a new horror/comedy titled "Milo". The project follows Duncan, played by Marino, a guy who thinks he has a demon living inside his stomach that's causing all his ailments. I thought the same thing the last time I ate at Denny's. Moons Over My Hammy. Am I right?

In Real People News: 

I know I've only been a parent for a year now but I'd like to think I'll never get to the point where I lock my little bundle of joy in a chicken coop and force her to wear a shock collar. I mean I can't say for 100% sure it won't happen. I just like to think I'll never get there.

A 27 year old California woman is under arrest after she attacked her boyfriend for bringing her the wrong beer. I'm not saying I support domestic violence but sometimes I think the law should go light on people. Just saying.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, May 8th, 2011

The nice old man from "Babe" AKA James Cromwell has joined the cast of Season 2 of "American Horror Story". He'll play a doctor who goes to battle with his boss, played by Jessica Lange. Am I the only one who just got hungry for some bacon? I can't be.

Guillermo del Toro recently look to his blog to drop the science on why "At the Mountains of Madness" probably isn't happening any time soon. Now I'm confused as hell after reading his explanation but I'll try to explain here. It seems because "Prometheus" and the Alien saga in general is so heavily influenced by HP Lovecraft the camp putting ATMOM together thinks it's not a good idea to push it forward. I don't fully get it but maybe someone else can explain it to me. Also please explain how babies get made.

I don't want to piss in your Wheaties but in a recent interview Anna Faris reveiled that she will most likly not be a part of "Scary Movie 5". I know. I'm taking this pretty hard also. If they dare make a "The House Bunny 2" without her I swear to god I'll shoot someone in the face.

"Wolf Creek" mastermind Greg McLean is taking time off from giving out handies for spare change to fund a sequel to take the directing role on a new film titled "Kill Me Three Times". The film follows a woman in an Australian surfing town who is the link between three different stories of murder, revenge and blackmail. I was just kidding about the handies thing. I'm pretty sure he's just asking people for money. I mean he might be giving handies I don't know. What I'm saying here is I can neither deny nor confirm that "Wolf Creek 2" is being funded by a prostitution ring.

In Real People News: 

A 28 year old school teacher in Florida is facing a pretty hefty detention sentence after it was discovered she deflowered a 16 year old student during school hours. By detention I mean jail. I don't think they can put teachers into detention. It's a loop hole thing or something.

It's always good for high school coaches to challenge their players. Well maybe not always good. This Colorado Hockey coach challenged his players to a masturbation race. That's not good at all.

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