Zombies vs. Gladiators

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, June 6th, 2012

On this day in History all the way back in 1933 the first Drive-In movie theater opened up in Camden, New Jersey. I know, i'm crying too. Let's just hold each other for a while.

"True Blood" actress Mariana Klaveno has her sultry little eyes set on playing Lily Mubnter in the upcoming "Munsters" reboot titled "Mockingbird Lane". Problem is she's already signed a contract to play a role on the ABC series "Devious Maids", which has already been canned but may move to Lifetime. So she's all "I wanna play Lily Munster!" And they're all "but you have to do our stupid show!" And she's all "But I didn't know about the Lily Munster role when I agreed to do your stupid show!" And They're all "Too bad stupid!". That's an actual transcript.

Rumor has it that the script for "Phantasm 5" has already been completed and the project will begin filming sometime this year. Nothing has been officially announced and seeing that Angus Scrimm is pushing 90 there's a solid chance he won't be filling The Tall Mans shoes but if we all hold hands and pray then maybe we can make this happen. Let's sing a song now.

IFC Midnight has swooped in to grab the rights to "Replicas", a new home invasion flick from first time director Jeremy Power Regimbal. The movie, about a family who find themselves trapped in their suburban home after moving to start a new life after a tragic event, has yet to be given a release date but may find it's way to VOD later this year. It will also probably play in some weird crappy theater that smells like falafel and doesn't serve popcorn because it isn't eco friendly.

This sounds like a joke but it isn't. At least I don't think it is. Clive Barker, as in "Hellraiser" Clive Barker, has signed on to rewrite the script for the film "Zombies vs. Gladiators". The film, as you might have guessed, is about a group of Roman gladiators who must battle a horde of zombies after they're unleashed on the Colosseum by a aging shaman. This sounds both insane and awesome at the same time.

In Real People News: 

It's a simple rule of summer that a lot of us forget. If a 9 year old hits you with a water balloon you have every right to push him on the ground and kick the crap out of him. It's a law in most states.

I will give any man 100 dollars if they can read this story about a North Carolina woman who squeezed a man's privates so hard that one of his balls popped out and no squirm in their seat.

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