TBK - The Toolbox Murders 2

Horror Headlines: Thursday March 10th, 2011

Your prayers have been answered my friends. A sequel to Tobe Hooper's 2004 remake of "The Toolbox Murders" is finally being made. The film titled "TBK - The Toolbox Murders 2" picks up right where the last film left off and I'm guessing involves a toolbox. Or maybe it takes places at this bar I went to one time called The Toolbox. But now I've said too much.

Movies about video games are usually pretty bad. So are remakes. But a remake of a video game movie? No way this can fail! Ladies and gentlemen I am proud to tell you that "Doom" is being remade. What could make this news better you might ask? What if I were to tell you that it's going to be in 3D? I'm sorry for just making you crap your pants with excitement but I'm sure you'll agree that it was worth it.

Michael Madsen and Rachel Hunter have been cast in Roger Corman's next film titled "Piranhaconda". The movie is obviously about a half piranha half anaconda that runs amok all over the place. According to everything I've read the movie will premier on Syfy sometimes in early 2012 but that can't be right, this has to be getting a wide release.

Brazilian actor Jose Padilha has been cast as the villian in Neill Blomkamp's next film titled "Elysium". The movie is Bloomkamp's first release since his much loved "District 9" and if I'm a betting man will feature a lot more waxing. Cause ya know, this Jose guy is Brazilian... They wax a lot? They can't all be zingers folks!

In Real People News: 

A 54 year old Connecticut woman is being brought up on charges after she reportedly forced her adopted son to sleep in a dog cage because he kept wetting the bed. The obvious question you have to ask is where did the dog go? Into the bed? And if the dog can go a entire night without wetting a bed and the kid can't did she really do anything wrong?

Two women in Pennsylvania were convicted of stealing two Wal-Mart gift cards from a 9 year old girl this past week. They were sentenced to sitting outside of the courthouse for almost 5 hours holding giant signs explaining their crime. When I was 13 I shoplifted some "90210" trading cards because I thought it was funny. Now more than ever I thank God I never got caught.

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