No news today guys. Sorry I just don't have it in me. I'm kidding of course there's a bunch of stories right below this. Man you'll believe anything I tell you.
Nick Swardson is pretty damn funny when he isn't playing a bucked toothed porn star in movies so I'm fairly excited for the new stop motion flick titled "Hell and Back" in which he stars. If you can star in a stop motion film. I don't know how that works. Anyway the movie is about a couple friends who have to travel into hell to save their friend who's been dragged down into the fiery depths and today we've learned that Mila Kunis has been cast as a spicy demon who is one of the few people who know how to navigate the underworld. Man it took us a long time to get to that didn't it? I just like spending time with you.
I don't know what it means when a company "options" something but the good people at Sony have optioned a big screen adaptation of the comic book "Bloodshot". For those of you not familiar with the comic book it tells the story of a former gangster who finds himself injected with microscopic computers that make him a super weapon after he goes into the witness protection program. For those of you not familiar with Sony they're a big company that makes a bunch of electrons and apparently puts out movies also.
Director Eric England has been hand selected by the powers that be to direct a new film titled "Contracted". The movie focuses on a young girl who has a one night stand and contracts what she thinks is an STD. It turns out to be something much worse though. A baby? Is it a baby? I'm guessing it's a baby. My money is on baby!
Didn't Darren Lynn Bousman's "11-11-11" already come out on VOD? Am I wrong here? I'm so confused. Well it's coming out again on march 6th. Or maybe for the first time. I don't know. It will then be available on DVD April 24th. So if you're itching to see a film based on a would-be world ending 6 months after the date passed then you're in luck.
In Real People News:
If you crash and blow up your car while crying drunk you really don't have anything to loose so why not make up a story. Saying another car started shooting at you for no reason might not be the most believable but it's still worth a shot.
If you're on meth there's a good chance the job opportunities aren't flying in so if you happen to get an interview you might want to not show up naked like this guy in Sacramento. Although if you do there's a good chance you're not going to get the job so feel free to go ahead and fight the cops who come to take you away.
Clive Barker's comic book "Seduth" will be presented in 3D when it's released in October. The story follows "a man driven by his darkest impulses to oblivion and back after being exposed tot he contents of a priceless diamond".
Picture this: A sitcom called "Coffee & Donuts" starring Joe Lynch and Adam Green. Ya, that was the same reaction I had. Apparently it will be based on Green's first short film, and had originally been pitched to UPN a few years ago. Now that the rights have floated back Green's way, he is pitching it as a vehicle for him and Lynch, and studios are showing interest. This may be enough to get me back into watching regular television. Stay tuned!
Sony has picked up the rights to "[REC]2" from the Toronto International Film Festival. Sony was previously responsible for the remake "Quarantine", as well as releasing the original film on DVD.
First TV spot for "Saw VI". So, it's officially that time of year when your non horror-loving friends start saying "they're really making ANOTHER one of these???".