Queen of the city

Horror Headlines: Thursday, August 9th, 2012

"Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters", staring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton has been kicking around for some time now but with a January 11th release date looming you would think the film was pretty wrapped up. No so my friends. It looks like the folks over at Paramount are now testing the film in both R and PG-13 rating form. I can only assume this means one version will have the 3 boobed hooker alien and one version won't. Wait no, that's a different movie.

I've made a ridiculous amount of "I think Ryan Reynolds is hot" jokes on this site so I'm just going to skip it this time. I'm just going to tell you about the new movie titled "Queen Of the City" he's working on where he stars as a father who begins to find clues that his child may still be alive 8 years after she was abducted. I'm not going to close with a weird comment about his rock hard abs. I'm not even going to mention is dreamy eyes that you get lost in every time you look at them.

Just in time for the holiday season IFC is set to release a new documentary titled "The Jeffrey Dahmer Files" which follows a lovable pup across the country has he tries to find the family that accidentally left him behind. Wait wait no, that's all wrong. it's about Jeffrey Dahmer, the guy who was arrested in 1991 for the murder of 17 people. It's an honest mistake.

I don't know why I get so excited about Bigfoot movies, especially since there's so many of them coming out in the near future. I think it might be because our very own Mark just gets so excited about them and any time he gets that twinkle of excitement in his eyes the world just seems a little bit brighter. I may have said too much. "Bigfoot County" is a new found footage flick about a group of filmmakers on a hunt to find the large hairy one.

In Real People News: 

I'm don't know what to say here except "vibrating hot dogs".

It's a couple days old but I think it's important to make sure everyone knows about this Russian swim team that performed their synchronized swimming routine to Suspiria by Goblin. It's important because there's not much coverage of the Olympics out there and I'm not sure people know it's even going on.

Around the Web

Syndicate content

What's New?

We talk about Joe's feelings. ALL of them.

Podcast

So this one's quite the... head-scratcher...

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web