it's alive

Horror BY the Sub-Genres: Pregnancy Horror

Giving birth is the weapon humanity has against the constant attempt of nature to destroy it, the yin to death’s yang. It is the way that people gain a measure of immortality in the physical world, a way to make sure that half of the genetic information that makes up who you are continues on after you’re long gone. It’s also an amazing way to bring together humanity, literally combining two separate human beings at a genetic level, knitting them together more closely than any relationship ever could.

Retro Trailer: "It's Alive" (1974)

"It's Alive" is one of those horror comedy films that I have always heard a lot about but haven't had a chance to watch until recently, when I found it on Netflix Instant Watch. Written and directed by Larry Cohen, the movie features a couple, Frank (John Ryan) and Lenore (Sharon Farrell), who give birth to a monsterous, mutant baby who kills people when frightened. Despite the ridiculous premise, the movie is funny, original and at times, pretty darn suspenseful.

Album Review: It's Alive - "Human Resources"

I admit I may have been fooled. Or foolishly optimistic. Either way, the album “Human Resources” from up-and-comer It’s Alive is not what I suspected it would be. Hearing the band’s name, I hoped that I was in store for a monster-themed fun-loving alternative metal romp. Rather, I was faced with yet another album that wallows in quasi-emotional distress, complete with gravelly vocals meant to engender sympathy.

Redband Trailer For The "It's Alive" Remake

I wasn't even born yet when the original "It's Alive" came out but when I finally saw it the film taught me one thing, never ever EVER have a baby. They will kill you. They won't even wait until they grow up to do it. Nope, a newborn child will come out of the womb and go straight into slasher mode. Fear the children, people.

Horror Headlines: Friday June 26th, 2009

Hey there, gang! Louis here, wrangling this morning's news from BGH boss Eric's cold, baby-like hands, delivering it fresh to you as you waste your company's time and money.

In what amounts to “jumping the shark” for two icons of horror, Dynamite Entertainment has announced the four-issue limited series “Army of Darkness: Ash Saves Obama”. Apparently, the Necronomicon ends up in the White House and Deadite wackiness ensues. Maybe it's violent demon possessions and boom-sticking that's keeping Obama from crafting a plan for increased gay rights? Am I right, gays?? Can I get a what-what???

The remake of Larry Cohen's iconic mutant killer baby flick “It's Alive”, about, um, a mutant killer baby, starring unknown James Murray and the vapid Bijou Phillips, goes straight to DVD from First Look Pictures on October 6. First Look might as well be considered horror's charitable foster family, adopting such previously troubled horror movies as the “Day of the Dead” remake and Lindsay Lohan's pregnancy laffer “Labor Pains”, which I wish they had mashed “It's Alive” up with.

Is 2009 the year of Rob Zombie? For those of us with a mild distaste for Eric, let's hope so! Not only is the much anticipated “Halloween 2” coming soon, on September 22, Zombie's long-gestating animated comedy “The Haunted World of El Superbeasto” finally makes it's way to the small-screen. El Superbeasto is based on a character from his short-lived anthology comic series and featuring the voices of Paul Giamatti, Sid Haig, Danny Trejo and everyone else you'd expect from Zombie. (In other Anchor Bay news, they're also releasing one of my childhood cables faves “Hardbodies” on August 18th. It's a one-way ticket to Boner City!)

In Real People News: 

A Connecticut church has come under fire for performing “gay exorcisms” on teens struggling with their homosexuality. Surprisingly enough, it's not a Catholic church...phew! Close one, guys! Hmmm...demons? Gays? Where's Ash??

An Oklahoma City woman pleaded “no contest” to prostitution charges after being accused of trading sex for a case of corn chips from a Frito Lay employee. Being from OKC myself, I can tell you from experience that you don't need a case of chips to get a Robinson Ave. hooker—a 99 cent grab bag'll work just fine. I guess you can say it's the best city in America to get “Frito Layed”!!! HAHAHAHA LOL FART.

On this day in history: 

In 1925, Charlie Chaplin's “The Gold Rush” premieres, thus creating a new type of pretentious comedy nerd who will swear up 'n' down that Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy and the Marx Brothers will never be equaled to in the world of comedy and the fact that you think Will Ferrell is funny makes you a plebeian who is beneath them. (In the music world, see “fans of prog rock”.) Until next time, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!

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This week we discuss alchemy, camera technology, a first time guest host joins the show, and we review "As Above, So Below".  

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