haunted poland

Horror Headlines: Thursday September 22nd, 2011

Charlize Theron has signed on to play an investigator trying to solve a case involving a brutal murder where things might not be as they seem in a new thriller titled "Cities of Refuge". She's also signed on to look fabulous at this year's Oscars! There's really not much else in the way of details on this one so I'm kind of stretching.

Well here's something I never thought I'd type. Raj from "What's Happening" will be in the next Rob Zombie flick!! That's right one Mr. Ernest Thomas, better known as not Rerun has signed on to play the station director of a local rock station in the upcoming witch revenge romp "Lords of Salem". If Zombie can get J.J. Walker then this movie might have some potential.

There's a crap load of horror shows in the works right now and it looks like ABC is looking to create a new drama series based on the book "666 Park Avenue". The show, like the book, will revolve around a couple that move to NYC from the midwest and become managers of a building where the residents have all made deals with the devil. You'd need to make a deal with the devil to find something affordable on the upper east side! Am I right folks? Rent is too damn high.

I'm pretty excited for the US to get its hands on "Haunted Poland", a new Polish flick (seriously!) about a girl who travels back to her home town and encounters evil thanks to a Ouija board, because I'm 99% sure I've met a few of the actresses in the film. And by met I mean thrown 20's at during a bachelor party while they did things I'm positive are illegal in their homelands. Anyway there's a new trailer and poster out for the film that was apparently made for only a thousand dollars. In fairness though a thousand dollars in Poland is pretty much enough to be president, or king or whatever the hell they worship over there. It's cool, I'm Polish so I can mock my people.

In Real People News: 

If there's one thing I've learned about kids it's they will not be ignored. My little bundle of joy will scream like there's no tomorrow if she loses her pacifier. But I guess I should consider myself lucky because here's a Georgia woman who's offspring fired a shotgun through the roof of her van while she was purchasing some drugs. Of course I always find a sitter when I go out for a big score, but that's just me.

I can sum up this one in three words. Decapitation, nipples and hammer. Good luck!

Horror Headlines: Friday July 29th, 2011

Kevin Bacon has signed on to the big screen adaptation of "R.I.P.D.", a comic book that follows two undead cops who still walk the beat. Bacon looks to be playing a villain in the film and Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds have already been confirmed as the cop duo. Bacon in between Reynolds and Bridges? Sounds delicious.

It's about time a horror movie was set in Poland. Yes "Haunted Poland", which has a new trailer, looks like it's a pretty bad rip off of "Paranormal Activity" and yes it looks like it had a budget of about 9 bucks but still. Poland! Land of kielbasa and perogies. Exporters of some of the finest strippers ever to take the stage. If I knew their national anthem I'd be singing it right now.

Concept art for Robert Rodriguez flick "Fire and Ice" has hit the tubes and it looks like it's taken from the most bad ass white trash van in 1984. Based on the artwork of Frank Frazetta the film's synopsis gave me a headache when I tried to comprehend it but from what I can understand there's some guys who fight glaciers and have to find some sort of fire thing and then get help from a wolf. I'm way off I'm sure but the way I explain it sounds pretty awesome so they should make a movie out of that too.

Finally the movie we've all been waiting for will get its DVD on August 30. I'm speaking of course about "Lizard Boy" the heartwarming tale about a doctor who fuses human DNA with a lizard and raises the freak outcome as his son... only to find he's developed a pretty hefty taste for human blood. What, no Blu-Ray version? How am I suppose to watching this when it isn't in pure crystal clear HD?

In Real People News: 

This is very very wrong but I can't say I'm not a little impressed by the guy who put hidden cameras in a Florida apartment being rented by two Bulgarian women in their 20s. Ya know what, I'm not sure if I believe this story. I'm going to need to see this footage before I can make any judgments.

A woman in South Carolina is currently facing obscenity charges due to the fact that she was driving around town with a plastic ball sack hanging off her truck. The case is currently in front of a judge and honestly I've never wanted to be called for jury duty until now. I'd probably be dismissed for giggling like a school girl though.

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