evil ed

Horror Headlines: Friday April 8th, 2011

Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, who directed "28 Weeks Later", arguably the second best of the time later movies, has been confirmed to be directing "The Crow" remake which is full steam ahead after delays out the ying yang. I played football in High School and for one game this kid painted his face like "The Crow" because he thought it would be frightening to the opposing team. Holy crap we harassed that kid to the point of tears. Good story huh? "The Crow"!

Holy mother of god the remake goodness just keeps flowing. Here it is folks, the first stills from the "Fright Night" retelling for your peepers and man are they.... there. I mean look at Evil Ed! He looks so... not evil, I'm sorry I can't do this today. Let's move on.

Javier Bardem, who is my all time favorite air gun murderer, is close to signing on to play Roland Deschain in the "Dark Tower" series that will be spread over three films and a TV series. I never read the books, should we be upset or really excited about this?

I only know Madeline Zima as the girl who likes to punch guys in the face while she makes the nasty on "Californication" but apparently she's done some other things. Things meaning she's signed up for the new people trapped in a bunker thriller "Storage". I've got high hopes for this one people, mostly because it seems like Madeline has no problem getting nude, so I assume this movie is going to be great.

In Real People News: 

A Georgia man has been fined $300 and ordered to serve a year probation after he tattooed a three year old. Honestly if it only will cost me $300 bucks to put some ink on a toddler I think I might be game. How many people can say they've done that?

And just to top off your Friday here's a story about a guy in Kentucky who's been arrested for ejaculating on a woman in the cereal aisle of a local supermarket. Have a good weekend you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 29th, 2010

Hey there horror fans, it's your Editor-in-Chief Eric here, back on the newsdesk after what seems like forever. Let's see if I can shake the rust off...

Your latest "Fright Night" remake news, straight from McLovin's mouth. It will be rated R. Man, that was exciting, wasn't it?

Wes Craven seems to have been attending the Rob Zombie school of marketing your movie in the 21st century. Or at least I assume so, based on the flood of BTS video and pictures hitting the internet since the film started shooting... YESTERDAY. I don't think I can handle this every day leading up to the projected 2011 release date.

Neil Marshal talks about his next project after "Centurion". Something something something, "bodies exploding", "3D", "produced by Sam Raimi". That's the gist, anyway.

In Real People News: 

So a Twilight fan (need I go on?) is suing the theater owner who had her arrested for taping part of her favorite vampire movie on a personal camcorder. Her defense? She was recording her sister's birthday party to save the memory. Oh, and she may or may not have recorded an additional 25 seconds to capture "her favorite actor tak(ing) his shirt off." Of the list of people she should be suing for causing her embarrassment, I'd probably put both Stephanie Meyer and "herself" on the list before the theater owner, but sadly, it's not my call.

I want a few sips of whatever Jenna Busch is on during this "Today Show" segment. Everyone else is just chalking it up to her being stupid since, as we all know, genetics are not her friend. I on the other hand am giving her the benefit of the doubt by calling her a drunk. Either way, not good.

A beautiful, hand-crafted, century old, unfortunately decorated quilt donated to local museum. Family not surprisingly unavailable for comment.

This story about a woman who passed out in her own vomit after huffing dust remover is still less depressing than the Twilight story.

On this day in history: 

1967 - Actress Jayne Mansfield is decapitated in a car crash, when her convertible collides with a parked tractor-trailer. To downplay the gruesome death, sources spread the falsehood that only her wig flew off in the accident.

Evil Ed (REVIEW)

As my life begins its inevitable journey through the rugged terrain of middle age, I've discovered that my genre-related cravings are leaning heavily towards the silly, the outlandish, and the unapologetically over-the-top. In general, horror movies aren't very frightening to me anymore, forcing yours truly to turn his attention towards films that are saturated in gore, shock, and, more importantly, outlandish physical comedy. If someone gets struck repeatedly about the head and neck while entrails and assorted body parts explode across the screen, then I'm usually a pretty happy camper.

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