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Horror Headlines: Monday, July 30th, 2012

Word around town is the good folks over at Warner Bros are toying around with the idea of creating a prequel to the that classic film "The Shining." Nothing's set in stone yet, but apparently they're already in talks with Laeta Kalogridis to write the film which would focus on the events that happened at the hotel before Jack and his family showed up. Maybe we can finally find out how that bear turned into such a slut. I know I've been asking myself that for years.

It looks like Hollywood's new "it" couple Mark Wahlberg and Liam Neeson are both in talks to star in "Neuromancer," the big screen adaptation of the William Gibson's novel. Nothing has been confirmed but the book focuses on a cyber cowboy (no clue what that means) who finds himself cyberjacked (I made that up) into the wrong end up a cyberjob (made that up too). I also can't confirm they're a couple. I made up 75% of this news.

A while back we learned that Ben Stiller would be taking the lead in the big screen adaptation of the spooky BBC children's show "Rentaghost." Today we've got news that the project finally has a director in the form of "Madagascar" main man Tom McGrath. The show originally followed a recently deceased 27 year old man who sets out to make the most of of his afterlife. Ya know, cause it's a kids show and people dropping dead is cute. For the kids.

The buzz around ABC's "666 Park Avenue" hasn't been that splendid but apparently the show is already slated for a second season, or it's at least it's being written with a second season in mind. I mean no one writes a show without hoping there's going to be more than 1 season right? I'm sorry. This news is stupid.

In Real People News: 

Ever been to this Vietnamese restaurant in St. Petersburg Florida? You may of eaten rat. Have a good morning.

Horror Headlines: Thursday October 13th, 2011

You all remember "Starship Troopers", right? The 1997 Sci-Fi bug battle flick that also had boobies in it? I was just a young 19 year old watching a bunch of people fight giant bugs and then all of the sudden blammo! Shower scene. It was glorious. Well it looks like there's a new movie being added to the series but this one will be animated. The film titled "Starship Troopers: Invasion" will pretty much have the same plot as all the other films but this time the nudity will be animated. So look out for that one if you're a complete deviant.

It looks like the lead role in the upcoming horror/comedy "Rentaghost" has transitioned from Russell Brand to Ben Stiller which is kind of like the doctor coming in the room and telling you that you don't have syphilis but you do have chlamydia. The film is based on an early 80's British sitcom about a recently deceased ghoul who sets up a temp agency for the fellow undead unemployed. Pretty sure if Stiller gets dropped then Dane Cook is next on the list.

If you were worried about "Paranormal Activity 3" being light on the spooky then fear not my friends because the good people at the MPAA have given the flick an R rating. The reason for the rating is listed as "violence, language, brief sexuality and drug use". I have no idea what "brief sexuality" means but I'm kind of interested. I've been displaying my sexuality for close to 34 years now with no signs of stopping.

A new trailer for the film "All God's Creatures" has popped up on the tubes for your viewing pleasure. The film follows a NYC barista who takes it upon himself to murder hookers by night because he's sees them as "filthy women". The film is interesting because the guy serves coffee for a living and is somehow buying tail I couldn't afford if I saved up for a year. I don't know how you did it my friends but you cracked the code.

In Real People News: 

I always assumed that chaperoning a field trip to a museum or some crap with your kids school is one of the most miserable events a parent can attend. But this Wisconsin woman found a way to spice things up a bit. She decided to shoot up heroine during the trip. Of course then she OD'ed but before that I bet she was having a blast.

Holy mother of god. Here's a story about a California woman who's suing a sex toy company because one of their products turned her lady bits into a messy pile of mush. No need for coffee today.

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