You don't have to be an animal lover to think that this story about a heroine addicted elephant is the saddest thing you'll read all day. Excuse me while I locate my razor blade.

Gangs in Brazil are feeding their enemies to giant crocodile like lizards to dispose of the bodies. Hey, you've got to work with what you've got I guess.

Japanese police receive a frantic call about a corpse, tied up and wrapped in plastic in the forest. They dispatch an entire team of murder investigators, who arrive at the scene, untie the body, and discover that it's just a "Real Doll" that "showed signs of repeated use". It's at this point that Nelson from the Simpsons ran by and said, "haha!".

There's a story circulating today that Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin tried to have books banned from libraries during her tenure as Governor of Alaska because they offended her Christian sensibilities, and that she threatened the librarian with being fired if she didn't comply. I'll let you make your own judgments about that, but no doubt the language had something to do with "the gays and all their gayness".